[blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions foreducating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person

Wed Mar 31 02:21:35 UTC 2010

I totally agree here.  After all, if this doctor, or any other professional
for that matter, has questions or concerns, and we leave him/her wondering
about the answers, I think that is leaving those questions open to often
lacking knowledge and faulty interpretations.  Not sure if that makes sense,
but I guess my thought is if I don't tell him, who will? One other thing
that I have learned over the years is this.  I used to get very defensive
about questions that were asked and concerns raised, some of them downright
ridiculous, to be honest.  It took me a very long time to understand that as
individuals, all we really have to go by are our own life experiences.  So,
having said that, someone who is sighted often has absolutely no earthly
idea how they themselves would do something if they were blind.  So, I think
that often times it is that person's own insecurity and even fear that we
see, and maybe not a direct judgment on us as blind parents, employees,
patients, or whatever the case might be.  Sorry if this doesn't make sense,
I'm having a very long and rather tough week, so little sleep, lol.  I just
think that in order to show a person where we are coming from, so to speak,
it helps to remember that that person is likely in a very different place,
especially if he or she is asking a ton of silly questions.  Have a great
week everyone.

Joy and family

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Veronica Smith
Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 9:10 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions
foreducating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person

For one I think you made a wise choice sticking with that doctor.  You do
need to educate him so if he ever has another blind patient he will know
what they are capable of.  I would find a good colonel book that deals with
similar situations and give it to him, this is what I have done time and
time again.  Maybe the fact that he wrote the words blind on your form is
not necessarily a bad thing, you don't want techs assuming you can see, when
it will be better for you if they describe procedures.  You go girl! V 

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Miranda Borka
Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 11:37 AM
To: blparent at NFBnet.org
Subject: [blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions for
educating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person

Hi,
I recently found out that my insurance covers a private doctor in my city,
and I had my first appointment with him yesterday. Part of this appointment
involved my physical for our fostercare-adoption process.
After seeing the form, the doctor said, "I'm not wanting to sound rude, but
how do you plan to parent a child? Will the children be Blind since you
are?" I told him that the children would not be Blind, and that it is
difficult to find a child in the U.S fostercare system who is Blind without
that child having other multiple special needs. He then asked, "Is your
husband sighted?" I again answered "No." He asked, "I'm sure you can hear a
pin drop, but how would that make you able to parent?" I reassured him that
I knew of many successful parents who just happened to be Blind, and that it
was not impossible. I further explained that although as a parent who
happens to be Blind I may need to make some adaptions, it was not
impossible.
Although very shocked and amazed, he seemed satisfied with my response, and
clearly admitted to never knowing a Blind person who could or wanted to be a
parent. In the end, he put on my foster-adopt physical form, "She is Blind,
but very capable and ambitious." Although I do wish he wouldn't have made my
Blindness a point on the form (as it had already been noted", I figured it
best to leave well enough alone.

I have had friends suggest I leave this doctor and go to a more respectful
doctor. However, I disagree. First, I am aware that it is a fact that most
of the sighted general public are uneducated about Blindness and aspects of
living as a person who is Blind like parenting. I can't run away from these
situations, as it would not only deepen the stereotype that Blind people are
not independent, but it would not set a good example of how to handle
adverse situations to anyone watching (including our children when they
enter our home).
Furthermore, as my doctor said,  he was uneducated about Blindness and the
ability for a person who is Blind to parent. I don't believe that walking
away from this doctor would aid in educating him, and I honestly felt sorry
for him and his lack of education. I'll admit to feeling initially defensive
at his insessent questioning of my capability to parent, but I suddenly
wanted to educate him.

Whether my doctor realizes it or not, he has challenged me to go in to my
next appointment (or contact his office) very equipped with information,
materials and/or knowledge to educate and empower him to understand and work
with myself and any other Blind person he comes in contact with who is or
wishes to be a parent.

I write all of this to ask for your feedback. Can anyone of you share how
you've dealt with situations like this? Can you share any literature,
materials or anything I can provide my doctor so he can see for himself that
what I am saying is indeed true? I want him to be able to be informed, and
not to just take my word for it.
Any feedback and ideas would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance, and have a great week!

In Christ, Miranda

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