[blparent] What's your opinion of Spanking

[Deborah Kent Stein]

As you point out, most parents have pretty strong feelings about whether or 
not spanking is an acceptable form of punishment, and it can even be seen as 
an issue of religious conviction.  Unless there are ways that being a blind 
parent affects our decisions on this issue, let's move on.

Debbie


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Shannan Zinck" <shannanzinck at gmail.com>
To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 11:02 PM
Subject: [blparent] What's your opinion of Spanking


> When deciding to adopt this was one question we really struggled with as a
> couple. We finally concluded that spanking may be necessary in some
> circumstances. We first of all believe it should be a last resort. We also
> believe it's necessary when we know for sure our son is being defiant. Not
> your typical development stuff like the throwing a fit stage which my son 
> is
> going through right now. We ignore those but, the times when he goes to do
> something and gives you that look and says no, no, no and does it anyway.
> Really annoying. I have a real problem with over spanking. I read a very
> disturbing survey online once where you rated how long or much you should
> spank your child and 66% of voters said ("Until you draw blood") in my
> opinion that's abuse. just my opinion don't shoot. Anyway that really
> bothered me. I sometimes wonder if spanking isn't the real issue here but,
> people's perception of it. Spanking is meant to teach and correct not
> frighten or dictate. Time out's are my preferred form of correction and 
> One
> thing we agreed on was never to embarrass our son by disciplining him in
> public. At the age he is now taking him away from the situation he is
> causing trouble in or a time out in a corner away from the others is what 
> we
> tend toward and when he is old enough if the trouble caused warrants it we
> will deal with it when we get home. Sometimes giving a kid time enough to
> think about punishment is punishment enough. So we do believe in spanking
> but, last resort and only when it's in willful disobedience. I was a wild
> child and really should have been spanked more often so I'm coming from 
> the
> undisciplined side of things and let me tell you that's not pretty either. 
> I
> do agree that there is a fine line with spanking and if you're the type to
> do it in anger and frustration then maybe it's better not to and find
> another calmer way to deal with things. I also agree that every child is
> different. I know one kid that if his parents spanked him he'd laugh but,
> man you give him a time out and he thought his world was ending. It's also 
> a
> delicate issue with many social workers, our adoption worker had a real 
> hard
> time with it and tried to convince us it was a bad idea but, it's legal 
> and
> there was nothing she could say about it. And besides it's a biblical form
> of correction and we are Christians. I know that comment can be abused as
> well but, I assure you though we are Christians we are not spanking 
> maniacs.
> I sort of know some "Christians" that are and it upsets me greatly. Also I
> have read the Child protection regulations and sadly believe it or not in
> Canada they are pretty broad on what is abuse. For instance the way it's
> written leads people to believe unless a child ends up with broken bones 
> or
> seriously injured it's not technically abuse. i would think that drawing
> blood or major bruising would be abuse as well. Sorry for rambling guys 
> this
> issue is pretty fresh right now. My husband's nephew age 5 is in a bad
> situation right now and we have no real proof he is being abused and yet 
> he
> seems like he might be. It's a real mess and we feel powerless to do
> anything right now. We just don't have enough to go on to report anything
> according the the regulations but, we feel so bad for him. I'll shut up 
> now.
> Personally I respect those who don't believe in spanking but, also respect
> those who do. Every child is different and every family is different no 
> one
> opinion is right or wrong it's just what it is. Wow that was a lot to say 
> a
> little Really sorry guys.
> -- 
> Shannan Zinck
> Survival is letting GOD take over!!!
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