[blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
Jo Elizabeth Pinto
jopinto at msn.com
Thu Nov 10 17:15:00 UTC 2011
I agree completely that we have to take care not to send messages of
incompetence because of blindness to our kids. I have a friend who is in
the habit of saying stuff like, "Sarah, get Mom. Bring Mom over here." And
I'll just quietly say, "Sarah, take my hand, please, so you can be safe."
Or her dad will say, "Don't try to sneak one on me. I can see you." And
I'll say, "I'm usually the one who knows what she's doing, sighted or not."
Which is true, there have been many times when I'll tell him that Sarah is
getting into a drawer or climbing on something or the like, and then he'll
notice it afterward.
That's the thing with my family, bottom line. I want my daughter to grow up
around people who respect me and treat me, and her, well. Sarah was with
her dad at a local pizza restaurant a few weeks ago, and my mom and dad
walked in. My dad went over and said hi at least, and spoke to Gerald for a
minute. Sarah greeted him, but the way a child would greet a stranger, or
an acquaintance she didn't know that well. My mom didn't spare Sarah or her
dad so much as a glance. If that's the way it's going to be, okay, but I
don't want my daughter growing up wondering what's wrong with her, or me, or
why her grandma won't talk to us. So I've surrounded myself and my girl
with friends who are closer than my family ever was. When Sarah sees Nanna
or Papa--a couple we're close with from church--she runs to meet them. It's
the same with other friends. Sarah was looking at pictures on my computer
the other day, and there was one with my former pastor's husband holding her
as a tiny baby. She pointed and said, "That's my grandpa." I guess some
day I'll have to explain what blood relations are, and what it really means
to be a grandfather, but not now.
Jo Elizabeth
"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of
the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of
these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist
--------------------------------------------------
From: "Marla Wertman" <marla.wertman at verizon.net>
Sent: Thursday, November 10, 2011 9:39 AM
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
> But we as adults have to teach them morals and respect.I have a friend
> who's child who is 6 is trying to get away with things because Mom and
> Dad are blind. This behavior starts somewhare. Maybe he has seen other
> family members do it. I just think we need to be careful of the messages
> we send kids.
> On Thu, 10 Nov 2011 14:02:50 +0000
> "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com> wrote:
>
>> Kids are smart. They'd only be confused by this senario if they wanted to
>> be.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf Of Marla Wertman
>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 5:11 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>
>> I totally agree Peggy. But at the same time, I think we blind or sighted
>> need to be carefull about justifying lies to children. For example, sure
>> it's Ok to lie about Christmas or birthday presents, but children don't
>> understand the context. So for example, if I have a child who happens
>> to be sighted, and he plays with a blind friend, and he comes home with
>> a toy that belongs to the friend and he justifies, "well, I took this
>> toy because my friend couldn't see me doing it" How do you then
>> rationalize that it is or is not ok to do things in front of a blind
>> person because they can't see. I think when it comes to presents we
>> rationalize lying and it could confuse kids.
>> On Wed, 09 Nov 2011 16:02:22 -0600
>> "Peggy" <pshald at neb.rr.com> wrote:
>>
>> > Thanks for the warning, I should have given it to you guys only before
>> > this
>> > happened!! My older kids have seen presents before it was time when I
>> > forgot they were in a closet and opened a door or in a drawer or under
>> > something ... those little eyes are quick!!! Once when it was my older
>> > son's bday he went into my bedroom and I didn't know it and before I
>> > found
>> > him he'd gotten all of his wrapped bday presents out and unwrapped
>> > them,
>> > sneaky little farts that they are, lol!!
>> >
>> > As far as the whole sneaking things in because you're blind or married
>> > or
>> > whatever, I see both sides of it and there are different situations for
>> > everyone. I'm sure my parents shopped for me while I was with them
>> > because
>> > I'm blind, I know my daughter still does it because sometimes she won't
>> > let
>> > me feel in the cart. Does it bother me?? Heck no because I'd do the
>> > same
>> > thing. My middle child isn't very observant and a lot of times I buy
>> > his
>> > presents with him right there and he never notices. My lo is too
>> > little to
>> > remember so I buy his presents with him there as well. Blind or little
>> > or
>> > non-observant, I think all of us have to do what we can to get sooooo
>> > many
>> > things done at once and especially with blind parents while we have the
>> > sighted assistance to help.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > -----Original Message-----
>> > From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
>> > Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 10:32 AM
>> > To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> > Subject: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>> >
>> > Hi. For any of you moms who have little ones starting to run around
>> > and get
>> > into things, I thought I'd warn you about something I just learned the
>> > hard
>> > way. *Smile.* They'll see everything, especially what you don't want
>> > them
>> > to, and they'll remember. They're smarter than we give them credit
>> > for.
>> >
>> > I bought Sarah the Little People school bus because she's really into
>> > buses
>> > and planes and the like right now. The package came from Amazon while
>> > she
>> > was at preschool about a month ago, and I threw the boxes in the
>> > recycling
>> > bin and hid the toy at the top of my closet, thinking I was pretty
>> > slick.
>> > Well, she saw part of a picture on one box sticking out of the bin.
>> > She
>> > asked about it, and I glossed over it. We moved on, and I thought
>> > she'd
>> > forgotten about the bus.
>> >
>> > So this morning, I went to get a shirt from the closet, and Sarah
>> > wandered
>> > in behind me. All at once, she started jumping up and down, saying, "I
>> > see
>> > it! Up there! The bus toy really is here! I want that bus toy!"
>> >
>> > I guess I didn't hide it well enough. She saw the box peeking out from
>> > under a blanket on a high shelf and remembered the picture from the
>> > recycling bin. She had a bit of a meltdown because she knew the toy
>> > was
>> > there, but I wouldn't get it off the shelf for her. I couldn't really
>> > explain why, either. Now Santa Claus can't bring that toy to her,
>> > either,
>> > because it'll blow his cover. I'll have to give it to her from Mom and
>> > Dad,
>> > or maybe from her brother Stephen. Anyway, my point is, when I was a
>> > kid,
>> > my family could (and did) wrap my presents right in front of me. But
>> > obviously, blind parents of sighted kids have to be very careful about
>> > these
>> > things.
>> >
>> > Jo Elizabeth
>> >
>> > "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young,
>> > compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and
>> > tolerant of
>> > the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been
>> > all of
>> > these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist
>> > _______________________________________________
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>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > I don't have time to hate people who hate me because I'm too busy
>> > loving
>> > people who love me.
>> >
>> >
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>> Marla Wertman
>> Avon representative
>> http://www.youravon.com/mwertman
>>
>>
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>
> Marla Wertman
> Avon representative
> http://www.youravon.com/mwertman
>
>
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