[blparent] passing the baby

Wed Apr 4 19:24:42 UTC 2012

It didn't sound to me at all like Rebecca was attacking anybody.  It's true 
that as a nanny or a baby-sitter, you're operating under the rules of the 
child's parents.  If they don't want their baby passed around, you don't do 
it.  If they want their baby to be given only breast milk, or only fruits 
and vegetables, or only M&M's, you do it.  I would hope I'd never be so 
controlling as to give a baby-sitter such specific orders that she had no 
room to think on her own, but I've seen it done.  Every parent has his or 
her priorities, which they relay to someone else when they give their 
children into his or her care.  I tend to give more details than Gerald 
does--he's sort of a "figure it out and if there's an emergency, here's my 
cell phone number" kind of a guy.

Also, there's something to be said for the fact that anybody, not 
necessarily Bran in particular, acts differently when he or she knows that 
Mom or Dad will be back at six o'clock.  It's easy to put up with more when 
you know that there's an end point.  That's true even for parents.  There 
are days when I'm at my wit's end, and I'll think, it's okay, Gerald will be 
here at six o'clock and I'll go lock myself in the bathroom and decompress 
because I know Sarah's in good hands.

Anyway, that's where I think Rebecca was coming from.  She can correct me if 
I'm wrong.

Jo Elizabeth

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, 
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of 
the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all of 
these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 12:45 PM
To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] passing the baby

> I didn't mean to attack.
> My point is that as the nanny, you do what I tell you because I pay you. 
> That's how it works.
> As the nanny, you can also say no to childcare or to parts of childcare, 
> no I won't give Johnny a bath ona regular basis, no I won't take care of 
> him when he's sick, no I won't stay late because today has been hard.
> You provide some excellent advice on this list. You probably provide 
> excellent childcare.
> But, you are not the mom.  It's an entirely different frame of reference, 
> one which most childcare workers simply do not understand ona fundamental 
> level.
>
> If I was taking care of a kid that wasn't mine, especially a baby, I'd do 
> as you do for the reasons you do. As a mom, I can hand that baby to 
> whoever I want. That's my right as mom. It isn't yours as nanny.
> I assume Jan was fine with handing the baby off. If she wasn't, well then 
> she needs to remember to channel her inner Nancy Reagan.
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
> Behalf Of Brandy W
> Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 2:30 PM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] passing the baby
>
> I provide child care in my home. I also took care of my niece very
> frequently for the first 7 years of her life. I'm speaking of any large 
> crud
> in a larger space where there are more people than one is comfortable 
> with.
> I don't think in this thread whether I get to go home or not has anything 
> to
> do with what we are talking about. We are talking about whether or not we
> let others hold our children. So I don't play pass the baby I keep the 
> child
> I'm with with me, and prefer to where them so others are less likely to 
> ask
> for them. If I do let someone it is someone I know well, and they know 
> they
> shouldn't hand the child to anyone else. I have cared for babies at
> convention, many other conventions, places where I've done toy booths, and
> in everyday life. It is just my way of doing things. I don't think 
> attacking
> me stating that I'm just a nanny was relevant or necessary.
>
> Bran
>
>
>
>
> "To learn to read is to light a fire; every syllable that is spelled out 
> is
> a spark."
> - Victor Hugo
>
> Brandy Wojcik  Discovery Toys Educational Consultant and Team leader
> (512) 689-5045
> www.playtoachieve.com
> Follow me on Face Book at
> http://www.facebook.com/PlayToAchieve.DiscoveryToys
>
> Read my new blog at www.playtoachieveballstobooks.wordpress.com
>
> Looking forward to helping you with your educational toy needs!
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
> Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 1:44 PM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] passing the baby
>
>        Aren't you a nanny?
> Not that what you have to say isn't important, it's s just different.
> Plus, you can go home at the end of the day. That makes a huge amount of
> difference.
>
> Lastly, are you speaking of random strangers and the parents are thinking 
> of
> people they know? That too makes a difference.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Brandy W
> Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 10:03 AM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] passing the baby
>
> When I have a baby with me I do not play pass the baby for many many
> reasons. One is the main reason mentioned here where you don't know where
> the child is. Second is people then think they have control of the baby 
> and
> will proceed to think it needs to eat or be changed or things like that 
> when
> they usually just want me. Last is germs. Who knows who's hand these 
> people
> have shaken, and who is sick with what. Babies don't need to be exposed to
> that many germs. If aa good friend is sitting by me I may allow that 
> person
> to hold the child, but will ask them to use some hand sanitizer. I've 
> found
> that if I where the baby in a front or back carrier than people ask less.
>
> Bran
>
>
>
>
> "To learn to read is to light a fire; every syllable that is spelled out 
> is
> a spark."
> - Victor Hugo
>
> Brandy Wojcik  Discovery Toys Educational Consultant and Team leader
> (512) 689-5045
> www.playtoachieve.com
> Follow me on Face Book at
> http://www.facebook.com/PlayToAchieve.DiscoveryToys
>
> Read my new blog at www.playtoachieveballstobooks.wordpress.com
>
> Looking forward to helping you with your educational toy needs!
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Veronica Smith
> Sent: Tuesday, April 03, 2012 6:33 PM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] passing the baby
>
> I really didn't like strangers holding my baby, but when we went to a 
> family
> thing, everyone wanted to hold Gab and passed around she went.  But they
> were family members, if the room was full of strangers, I probably would 
> of
> said, not right now.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of jan wright
> Sent: Monday, April 02, 2012 9:48 PM
> To: blparent
> Subject: [blparent] passing the baby
>
> Hi all,
> I had a question and wondered if you could help.
>
> My 23yo daughter just married on 4/1 .
> We were elated and like the man she married.
> My husband and I took our 4mo baby boy.
> Everyone wanted to hole him.
> the problem was that someone would come and talk to us and  the holder 
> would
> pass the baby to someone else, then to someone else and I did not know
> "where" the baby was or "who "  had him. This is annoying for me. I would
> have to continuously ask sighted people around me: "Who has the baby,"
> "Where is the baby?"
> Before, when I had my little ones, I would just make them off limits to
> others because:
> when they were babies, we did not go out much and when we did, I wanted to
> know where they were, etc. when people asked to hold my little ones, I 
> would
> just decline because it just seemed too hectic and chaotic. But, does 
> anyone
> have any suggestions to make it easier without just saying "no?"
>
> Thanks.
>
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