[blparent] passing the baby

Wed Apr 4 19:39:31 UTC 2012

Yes but this is not at all what the topic was about. The topic wasn't about
the difference between caregivers and parents it was about whether you would
pass the baby, and how you would keep track. I have cared for hundreds of
children in my 17 years of experience, and rarely have I ever had to do
something I didn't agree with. The parents I work with want their child to
be loved and cared for as if they were mine, and trust my judgment. I have
no clue how this got twisted around to the rest of these things, and not the
topic at hand. That is when it felt attacking. I know there are a few of you
who have a problem with me being on the list, but many many people find me
helpful, and I learn a lot from some of you. Since I have way more
experience than many of you will ever have I would appreciate if comparisons
like this wouldn't happen. I have had kids for over nights, complete weeks,
from 5 am to 9 pm, and so on. My full attention is to foster and adopt
medically fragile children. I have parent after parent thank me for my
loving care, and have been told by many that I understand their lives and
their children as if I were a parent. I never never said that I knew exactly
what it was like to be a parent, but I have a pretty good idea. So now end
this topic and stop with this topic. If someone was asking about what you'd
let your child care giver do than this may be appropriate, but it simply
wasn't.

"To learn to read is to light a fire; every syllable that is spelled out is
a spark." 
- Victor Hugo 

Brandy Wojcik  Discovery Toys Educational Consultant and Team leader
(512) 689-5045
www.playtoachieve.com
Follow me on Face Book at
http://www.facebook.com/PlayToAchieve.DiscoveryToys 

Read my new blog at www.playtoachieveballstobooks.wordpress.com

Looking forward to helping you with your educational toy needs!

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 3:25 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] passing the baby

It didn't sound to me at all like Rebecca was attacking anybody.  It's true
that as a nanny or a baby-sitter, you're operating under the rules of the
child's parents.  If they don't want their baby passed around, you don't do
it.  If they want their baby to be given only breast milk, or only fruits
and vegetables, or only M&M's, you do it.  I would hope I'd never be so
controlling as to give a baby-sitter such specific orders that she had no
room to think on her own, but I've seen it done.  Every parent has his or
her priorities, which they relay to someone else when they give their
children into his or her care.  I tend to give more details than Gerald
does--he's sort of a "figure it out and if there's an emergency, here's my
cell phone number" kind of a guy.

Also, there's something to be said for the fact that anybody, not
necessarily Bran in particular, acts differently when he or she knows that
Mom or Dad will be back at six o'clock.  It's easy to put up with more when
you know that there's an end point.  That's true even for parents.  There
are days when I'm at my wit's end, and I'll think, it's okay, Gerald will be
here at six o'clock and I'll go lock myself in the bathroom and decompress
because I know Sarah's in good hands.

Anyway, that's where I think Rebecca was coming from.  She can correct me if
I'm wrong.

Jo Elizabeth

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of
the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all of
these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 12:45 PM
To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] passing the baby

> I didn't mean to attack.
> My point is that as the nanny, you do what I tell you because I pay you. 
> That's how it works.
> As the nanny, you can also say no to childcare or to parts of 
> childcare, no I won't give Johnny a bath ona regular basis, no I won't 
> take care of him when he's sick, no I won't stay late because today has
been hard.
> You provide some excellent advice on this list. You probably provide 
> excellent childcare.
> But, you are not the mom.  It's an entirely different frame of 
> reference, one which most childcare workers simply do not understand 
> ona fundamental level.
>
> If I was taking care of a kid that wasn't mine, especially a baby, I'd 
> do as you do for the reasons you do. As a mom, I can hand that baby to 
> whoever I want. That's my right as mom. It isn't yours as nanny.
> I assume Jan was fine with handing the baby off. If she wasn't, well 
> then she needs to remember to channel her inner Nancy Reagan.
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
> On Behalf Of Brandy W
> Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 2:30 PM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] passing the baby
>
> I provide child care in my home. I also took care of my niece very 
> frequently for the first 7 years of her life. I'm speaking of any 
> large crud in a larger space where there are more people than one is 
> comfortable with.
> I don't think in this thread whether I get to go home or not has 
> anything to do with what we are talking about. We are talking about 
> whether or not we let others hold our children. So I don't play pass 
> the baby I keep the child I'm with with me, and prefer to where them 
> so others are less likely to ask for them. If I do let someone it is 
> someone I know well, and they know they shouldn't hand the child to 
> anyone else. I have cared for babies at convention, many other 
> conventions, places where I've done toy booths, and in everyday life. 
> It is just my way of doing things. I don't think attacking me stating 
> that I'm just a nanny was relevant or necessary.
>
> Bran
>
>
>
>
> "To learn to read is to light a fire; every syllable that is spelled 
> out is a spark."
> - Victor Hugo
>
> Brandy Wojcik  Discovery Toys Educational Consultant and Team leader
> (512) 689-5045
> www.playtoachieve.com
> Follow me on Face Book at
> http://www.facebook.com/PlayToAchieve.DiscoveryToys
>
> Read my new blog at www.playtoachieveballstobooks.wordpress.com
>
> Looking forward to helping you with your educational toy needs!
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
> On Behalf Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
> Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 1:44 PM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] passing the baby
>
>        Aren't you a nanny?
> Not that what you have to say isn't important, it's s just different.
> Plus, you can go home at the end of the day. That makes a huge amount 
> of difference.
>
> Lastly, are you speaking of random strangers and the parents are 
> thinking of people they know? That too makes a difference.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Brandy W
> Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 10:03 AM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] passing the baby
>
> When I have a baby with me I do not play pass the baby for many many
> reasons. One is the main reason mentioned here where you don't know where
> the child is. Second is people then think they have control of the baby 
> and
> will proceed to think it needs to eat or be changed or things like that 
> when
> they usually just want me. Last is germs. Who knows who's hand these 
> people
> have shaken, and who is sick with what. Babies don't need to be exposed to
> that many germs. If aa good friend is sitting by me I may allow that 
> person
> to hold the child, but will ask them to use some hand sanitizer. I've 
> found
> that if I where the baby in a front or back carrier than people ask less.
>
> Bran
>
>
>
>
> "To learn to read is to light a fire; every syllable that is spelled out 
> is
> a spark."
> - Victor Hugo
>
> Brandy Wojcik  Discovery Toys Educational Consultant and Team leader
> (512) 689-5045
> www.playtoachieve.com
> Follow me on Face Book at
> http://www.facebook.com/PlayToAchieve.DiscoveryToys
>
> Read my new blog at www.playtoachieveballstobooks.wordpress.com
>
> Looking forward to helping you with your educational toy needs!
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Veronica Smith
> Sent: Tuesday, April 03, 2012 6:33 PM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] passing the baby
>
> I really didn't like strangers holding my baby, but when we went to a 
> family
> thing, everyone wanted to hold Gab and passed around she went.  But they
> were family members, if the room was full of strangers, I probably would 
> of
> said, not right now.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of jan wright
> Sent: Monday, April 02, 2012 9:48 PM
> To: blparent
> Subject: [blparent] passing the baby
>
> Hi all,
> I had a question and wondered if you could help.
>
> My 23yo daughter just married on 4/1 .
> We were elated and like the man she married.
> My husband and I took our 4mo baby boy.
> Everyone wanted to hole him.
> the problem was that someone would come and talk to us and  the holder 
> would
> pass the baby to someone else, then to someone else and I did not know
> "where" the baby was or "who "  had him. This is annoying for me. I would
> have to continuously ask sighted people around me: "Who has the baby,"
> "Where is the baby?"
> Before, when I had my little ones, I would just make them off limits to
> others because:
> when they were babies, we did not go out much and when we did, I wanted to
> know where they were, etc. when people asked to hold my little ones, I 
> would
> just decline because it just seemed too hectic and chaotic. But, does 
> anyone
> have any suggestions to make it easier without just saying "no?"
>
> Thanks.
>
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