[blparent] Winning or Losing (was inflatable tub bumpers)

[Tay Laurie]

That father should've been caught under a barage of fists and slaps from 
angry parents instead of being allowed to do that to his child. And the 
family you grew up in mimmicks my supposed grandparents, i.e I doubt very 
highly they treated my dad like that.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 10:13 AM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Winning or Losing (was inflatable tub bumpers)


> The problem is, a lot of parents and coaches aren't in their right mind 
> about winning or losing.  My nephew is in four or five sports at any given 
> time--too many, in my opinion, but he's not my kid.  Anyway, some of the 
> parents should be kicked out of the events, the way they scream and yell 
> at the coaches and referees if they don't think their kid is getting 
> enough play or if they think the referee made a bad call against their 
> child.  Some of the coaches are crazy, too, telling the kids that "second 
> place is the first loser" and other nonsense like that.
>
> I'll never forget, it was probably fifteen years ago or more, I was 
> standing around at a baseball game.  I don't even recall who I was there 
> to cheer for.  But there was a kid up to bat, and if he hit the ball, the 
> player on third would have run home to win the game.  It was his moment to 
> be the hero, the big shot, only he missed.  It happens.  In fact, it 
> probably happens more times than not.  Part of sports, or at least it used 
> to be, was learning to accept a loss gracefully, because it would be a 
> needede skill in life.  Well, the kid was disappointed enough--if he'd 
> been mine, I would have said that it's just the way it goes sometimes, and 
> we would have gone out for ice cream or something--but then his dad got 
> out on the field and started yelling, literally yelling, at this poor kid 
> in front of everybody, saying how he was a disappointment to him and the 
> whole team, how he wasn't worthy of wearing the uniform--and then he made 
> the kid strip off the uniform, out there in front of God and everybody, 
> and walk to the car in just his skivvies because he'd let the team down. 
> I bet that kid will never forget the trauma of that day.  I always felt 
> bad that I didn't step out on the field myself and tell that father to get 
> a f***ing grip.  I was just so shocked, as was everybody.  Now that I'm a 
> parent, it's even more unthinkable--somebody should have called CPS or the 
> police on the spot. Most parents aren't that insane, but even with my 
> nephew, he was worried about keeping his weight down so he could play 
> certain positions in peewee football--at eight years old!  I have a cousin 
> who, if he got second place in a wrestling match, would stomp around the 
> gym, making a fool of himself, and sulk for days.  And their parents are 
> driving this obsession.
>
> So what I mean is, part of it is that parents need to teach their kids 
> it's okay not to be in first place.  But instead, they want that winning 
> edge all the time.  There was an Easter egg hunt in a nearby town that got 
> canceled, not because the kids were out of hand, but because the kids were 
> getting mowed down by parents who were going to make darn sure their child 
> got an egg.  Sarah and I were at a restaurant last night, and she got to 
> enter a drawing for a Dora the Explorer Easter basket--Dora is Queen Bee 
> around here--and she wanted the basket more than life itself, at least for 
> the moment.  I had to try and explain to her that a bunch of other kids 
> also wanted the basket, and only one would win, and that it would be okay 
> if it wasn't her.
>
> Off my soapbox now, but this is a touchy one for me, having come from a 
> family where competition was a high art form, and if you weren't perfect, 
> there was never a legitimate excuse as to why.  If you got a B, why wasn't 
> it an A, and if it was an A, why wasn't it an A+--and sometimes a B is 
> just fine, and something to be proud of.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, 
> compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant 
> of the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been 
> all of these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Tay Laurie" <j.t.laurie at gmail.com>
> Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 8:13 AM
> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] inflatable tub bumpers
>
>> That's another thing, the winning/losing. They don't want the kids to 
>> experience losing. They don't want to trample on their self-esteem. 
>> Pardon me, but I played plenty of win-lose games, still do, actually, and 
>> it doesn't crush me if I lose. I don't think it crushes very many, if 
>> any, kids if they win or lose, once they understand it's not the end of 
>> the world.
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Peggy" <pshald at neb.rr.com>
>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 6:52 AM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] inflatable tub bumpers
>>
>>
>>> Oh I think a lot of parents are over protective and also sue happy, as 
>>> mentioned on this list.  A lot of the playground equipment is being 
>>> taken down because it's a safety hazzard.  Games can't be played because 
>>> of safety reasons or because someone wins or loses.  We have a 
>>> trampoline in our backyard and a couple summers ago our little neighbor 
>>> boy fell off and broke his arm and I thought surely she'll sue but she 
>>> didn't, she believes like I do, accidents happen and kids will get hurt. 
>>> They want them to have the physical activities because they're 
>>> overweight but so many things are taken away, what are they supposed to 
>>> do?
>
>
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