[blparent] Clarification was Re: Involvement of Child Services (was introduction, expecting)

[Steve Jacobson]

Dear list,

There have been a lot of posts on this subject and some have included some strong opinions.  As one who has adopted two kids with both my wife and I being blind, I'd like to raise some cautions.

First, most situations are more complex than they appear to be on the surface.  I do not mean that they are only complicated because of the blind people involved.  They are also complex because of the 
particular agency or social worker involved.  It is wrong to say that as I feel was implied that only blind people with other issues have trouble.  We need very much to try to be as honest with ourselves and with 
each other as we can about other issues that could impact how a social worker might look at us.  It hurts us if a social worker is allowed to think that a particular problem is related to blindness when it is really 
due to another issue.  Having additional issues besides blindness is still not a reason for an assumption to be made that a child is unsafe in that home, but trying to separate out various issues is a good idea.

It is also not helpful for us to assume that any social worker is out to get us.  Red flags are going to be raised about us or about anyone who displays a hostile or overly suspicious attitude right from the start.  

There have been and still are cases when particular social workers make unfair judgments about our abilities to be parents as blind persons and we need to be ready for that.  In some cases, a social worker will 
make judgements but be willing to learn, and we need to watch for those opportunities as well.   

Best regards,

Steve Jacobson


On Mon, 13 Aug 2012 22:22:59 -0500, Robert Shelton wrote:

>Marsha, list.  I've been following this thread with great interest, and some
>consternation.  

>To ground my position, I'm total, and my wife of 42 years is sighted, and
>that alone may disqualify us from this discussion.

>We had four boys in three states (1972, 1975, 1978, 1983) (TX. TX. TN. MI
>respectively), and never got question one from any social worker -- nada --
>zip -- nothing.

>Now this list is a pretty rich sample of experience, and although it
>wouldn't be scientific, it would be interesting to see just how many people
>got inquiries of any kind from social services.  It is alarming to me that
>this kind of thing may be even more common today than in the past.  As I've
>been given to understand, one of the key missions of NFB was to protect
>parental rights of the blind.  I know that the fact that in our case, Mom
>was sighted, may dramatically change the odds that you get questions from a
>social worker, but this just isn't right.  We gave our boys a wonderful,
>loving home, but through most of those years, I was a student, and we were
>as poor as churchmice, and looked the part.  I'd think that if anyone would
>have rated scrutiny from CPS, it would have been us.

>Another big factor to consider is the fact that there have been, here in
>Texas, a number of high profile cases where CPS dropped the ball tragically
>resulting in death or grave injury to children they should have protected.
>We've had direct knowledge of cases where CPS was called when a kid showed
>up for day care with obvious cigarette burns (how horribly sick is that?)
>and CPS did *nothing*.  I understand that CPS is ridiculously overworked
>here in Texas, and the courts just love to give kids back to abusive parents
>(saves the state money), but at least within my experience, CPS doesn't ask
>enough questions, or doesn't question the right people, or if they do,
>doesn't act when they need to.

>Sorry about the rambling post, but I'm really interested in how many of the
>parents on this list have been hassled just because they were blind.  If
>this isn't fit for the general list, then mail me off-list --
>rshelton1 at gmail.com

>Thanks for listening.

>--Bob

>-----Original Message-----
>From: Marsha Drenth [mailto:marsha.drenth at gmail.com] 
>Sent: Sunday, August 12, 2012 12:17 PM
>To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>Subject: [blparent] Clarification was Re: Involvement of Child Services (was
>introduction, expecting)

>Let me clarify here. Social services does take children away from blind
>parents for no reason other than their disability. Social services, lawyers,
>doctors, nurses, custody evaluators, CPS all need to be educated in
>blindness. But I did not mean to imply that no blind parent, or any sighted
>parent would not need help. I do not think any parent who is blind should be
>a "super blind parent" just for the gratification of showing that they are
>independent. When our children are born, unfortunately they are not born
>with manuals. And unless a person has hadd experience with children, worked
>with them, or taken classes, a new parent is not going to know everything.
>As our children grow up, we encounter different situations, one particular
>method is not going to work with a child that is 10 compared to when they
>were 2 years old. We learn, we grow in our parenting styles, tools, methods,
>experiences. I can't say that a blind parent who is confident will always
>skip around the social services questions. Nor can I say that a blind
>parent who is not confident in their skills willl guarantee questions from
>social services. 

>What I am saying is that social services question our abilities purely just
>because we are blind and for no other reason. Its the same way if a parent
>is physical disabled or deaf. Those disabilities just as blindness does not
>prevent us from taking care of our children, although we will need to use
>alternative techniques, just as someone who is deaf, or physically disabled.


>Would we say that in the case of the Mikayla baby, that the parents were too
>confident? Or that they didn't show enough confidence? or that they would
>not have had help, sighted or blind? Or that they were not capable? They
>were without their baby for months, Why because the social worker was not
>educated.Social services sometimes is going to investigate us, no matter how
>well or how bad we as parents are. if they understand, blindness, understand
>the alternative techniques we use. If they understand they then have no
>reason to question, our abilities. 

>What I am saying is, it doesn't matter why social services, or CPS gets
>involved. its how we go about resolving that parent and child are together,
>there are no gaps in skills, and that the child will be safe and taken care
>of. Its that we educate those professionals involved.  


>I know that i never ever want another parent to have to fight to keep their
>children, because social services, DSS, or CPS doesn't think because eyes do
>not work,  a person can't be  a parent. 

>your welcome to disagree with me, but real fights do happen out there,
>fights that should have not happened. 



>Marsha drenthSent from my iPhone

>On Aug 12, 2012, at 9:46 AM, Bernadetta Pracon
><bernadetta_pracon at samobile.net> wrote:

>> Yep; I had a visiting nurse come as well. They did offer me that service,
>and I took them up on it for the same reasons Peggy did. She was extremely
>helpful. if you're a new parent, you should definitely use that resource if
>it's offered to you. I don't care if you're planning on being super mom and
>doing it all yourself; Any bit of extra insight, advice or help is a good
>thing; don't shun it.
>> 
>> Bernadetta
>> 
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