[blparent] punishment

Wed Feb 1 18:49:21 UTC 2012

yes V, the mood swings, the attitude. woe, most of you parents with yong kids are in for it in about 8 years. because wow, do they sure have attitude and do they sure know it all at this age. :-)
Gabe Vega - Sent from my Apple Mac Mini 
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On Feb 1, 2012, at 9:54 AM, Veronica Smith wrote:

> I hear you loud and clear.  And Dave, we have to go through the mood swings
> that start occurring at this age. (11/12)
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Gabe Vega
> Sent: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 8:45 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment
> 
> I got to agree, we all go through it, I got a 6 year old son next month and
> we deal with the same school issues his mother and I, she's my neighbor so I
> am still heavily involved wth his raising and his schooling. and my 11 year
> old daughter who I raise on my own still has issues from time to time with
> listening.
> 
> when you are going through it though, it sure feels like you are alone in
> the world. 
> Gabe Vega - Sent from my Apple Mac Mini Hit me up Voice/Text: (623) 565-9357
> Email: theblindtech at gmail.com
> Twitter: http://twitter.com/blindtech
> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/blindtech
> Website: http://thebt.net
> 
> On Jan 31, 2012, at 8:38 PM, Tammy wrote:
> 
>> Hi,
>> 
>> I completely agree with this message.  I don't think spanking is an
> appropriate punishment for everything, especially if it doesn't work or has
> stopped working.  You need to find out what your son really likes, and use
> that as punishment.  My son likes to stay up at night on week-ends but if
> he's bad he doesn't get to stay up.  During the week if he's bad he looses
> his tv or goes to bed right after supper which means before his brother and
> that annoys him.  I also think talking to the school is a very good idea.  I
> think meds are a last resort but a resort nonetheless.  I hope you find
> comfort in the fact that you're not the only one who has these problems.
> This age is a very tough age for children, and parents alike.
>> 
>> Good luck!
>> 
>> Tammy
>> 
>> -----Original Message----- From: Veronica Smith
>> Sent: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 10:27 PM
>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment
>> 
>> Nikki, what is he substituting for the Wii.  It will get boring doing
> nothing but sitting.  It works for other children, but tough love is usually
> what it takes.  You could turn to meds, they settle children down, but at
> what expense.  Some of those kids walk around like zombies because they are
> doped up.  Spanking is reserved here for serious crimes like darting into
> the traffic breaking items that could possibly be harmful.
>> Sometimes, just sometimes, if you show that it is okay to hit (spank) then
> a child thinks it's okay to hit.
>> I do recommend talking to the school counselor and see what they 
>> recommend for changing this behavior. V
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
>> On Behalf Of Nikki
>> Sent: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 7:39 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment
>> 
>>  Taking things away from him isn't solving the problem. He likes Mario
> Kart Wii a lot. He hasn't been able to play it since the stream of yellows
> and few reds. It hasn't been doing much since the behavior continues. The
> punishment is that if he brings home a yellow or red, no Wii. If he gets a
> yellow or red on a Friday, that means the whole weekend without the Wii,
> computer playing, or playing with his train.
>> 
>> He has been confined to his room before, but that doesn't seem to work.
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Veronica Smith
>> Sent: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 5:18 PM
>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment
>> 
>> The only way is restricting him from the things he likes and if that 
>> means you have to hear him scream or throw a huge tantrum for x amount 
>> of time, then be it.  My husband used to put Gab in her room when 
>> she'd do what she wanted and she would scream and scream and we told 
>> her she could come out when she could control herself and do as she 
>> was told.  Sometimes it took a few minutes, sometimes a few hours and 
>> then the next time she acted up, back into the room she went.  I know 
>> that professionals say not to use their rooms as a place of 
>> punishment, but that is what I did, some peeps use a rug and others 
>> use a chair, but you use what works. V
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
>> On Behalf Of Nikki
>> Sent: Monday, January 30, 2012 11:12 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment
>> 
>>  IDK if I could do that. I don't think he's angry with me. It has more to
> do with him not listening and doing what he's told. Sunday, he and papa went
> for a walk in the woods. As they were walking back to the car, my dad told
> him not to pick up any snow because he didn't want his gloves to be all wet
> when they got in the car. You know what? That little defiant brat did it
> anyway. He doesn't listen. Two weeks ago, he got a detention for not
> listening to the lunchtime supervisor and just continued playing, ignoring
> the call to come line up. As far as last week and today, I don't know why he
> pushed another kid, except today, he played freeze tag even after he was
> told not to. So, I'm just wondering how to fix this "not listening,
> ignoring, and not doing what told to do" business.
>> 
>> It seems his answer for everything is "I don't know." I'm ready to wash
> his mouth out every time he says that. Because I know he knows.
>> 
>> 
>> -----Original Message----- From: Veronica Smith
>> Sent: Monday, January 30, 2012 11:20 PM
>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment
>> 
>> Nikki, can you attend his class for a day or so.  Tell him that mommy 
>> is going to check up on him and then stick to your words.  It might be 
>> today or
>> 2 days later, but perhaps you need to see what the class is doing and 
>> why he is acting up.
>> Is he angry at you for something?  Sometimes a child will take it out 
>> on someone his own size to (in his mind) is punishing you.
>> Maybe the teacher is only seeing the hitting or pushing, but not 
>> seeing the whole reason for the behavior.  Perhaps, your son is  defending
> himself.
>> You know, there is always 2 sides to every story.
>> 
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
>> On Behalf Of Nikki
>> Sent: Monday, January 30, 2012 3:02 PM
>> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
>> Subject: [blparent] punishment
>> 
>> Hi all. Yes I'm back again. How would you discipline a six year old 
>> boy who doesn't listen and do what he's told? I haven't figured out 
>> what will change his behavior. He pushed another child, in school 
>> today and Friday. He lied to me last night by saying he'll be good 
>> today. We even had him saying "I know I can, I know I can, said the 
>> engine that did." I'm out of my witts end. The past few weeks have been
> horrible. I can't understand why.
>> 
>> The teacher uses a sliding scale for the behavior. You come to class, 
>> you start with an orange. Your behavior throughout  the day determines 
>> the outcome. So you can either do great and get a green card, but you 
>> can slide back to orange, which is a "ready to work" day. Ah, but 
>> there's the possible yellow, which is a "behavior needs to be worked 
>> on"." You could go to red, which is the worst. I almost forgot, after 
>> the green is blue, "the best behavior, you're like a role model." One 
>> thing, if you get a red or blue, that's it. You can't slide off.
>> 
>> Now, my son has been bringing home yellows and the past two days 
>> including today, were red. I've made the decision to take all of his 
>> toys out of his room, including stuffed animals and having him go to 
>> his room after school until he fixes his behavior. For each day he 
>> brings home a good report and I'm not just talking an orange, I will give
> him one toy back.
>> 
>> I'm tired of spanking him. It doesn't seem to work for me. What do you 
>> think?
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