[blparent] Sleepless Nights

[Jeri Milton]

Hi out there to everyone. It's the middle of the night, or wee hours of the
morning depending on whatever way you look at it. These last couple of weeks
I've been having a heck of a time sleeping. I read somewhere a long time ago
that people who are blind tend to have a harder time sleeping than those who
are sighted. It has to do with Melatonin. Does anyone know about this study?

Anyway, when I have these dreaded sleepless nights I tend to lie there and
think or worry about everything and it really drives me crazy. So tonight I
was thinking so much about my children. Instead of tossing and turning,
sleep for half an hour then waking up to twiddle my thumbs and think some
more, I thought I would post my thoughts on here sense it is about being a
parent. 

I was thinking about how fast the time really does go by. It seems like just
yesterday I was pregnant with Dylan and enjoying every single bite of my
huge Breakfast Jack sandwich from Jack in the Box. *smile*. Then, boom he
was born and I was having sleepless nights with a new born baby that I had
no clue what to do with. Funny how we're so scared at first and then the
baby just becomes part of us, like he's always been there all of your life.
Next thing I knew I was planning his first birthday party. I remember that I
hand made them with pieces of construction paper folded in half to make a
card. I used every primary color in the crayon box for each letter of the
words. I wrote it as if he was writing it. It was very cute, I have to
admit! Now, well tomorrow, because he is turning seven and is old enough to
help fill out his invites, we're going to grandma's house to fill them out
for his pizza party at the end of the month. So, just yesterday I was losing
sleep and crying because I didn't know what to do with this new born, and
now seven years later, I'm crying because he's growing up too dang fast!
Also, I'm still trying to lose all the calories from that first dang
Breakfast Jack! Not to mention the weight gain when I was pregnant with
Kate. I know he hasn't been a baby for a while, but seven just sounds so,
well, not babyish. He'll always be my baby though. I tell him even when he's
forty he'll still be my baby. Then, somebody asked me the other day about
Katlyn starting preschool and I almost immediately burst into tears over the
thought of it. My gosh what am I going to do when they're both in school?
Gone all day to the hands of other people. When Dylan started preschool I
balled like a baby, and he was only going two days a week. Then, when kinder
garden came I cried all week. I felt that I was sending him into the wolf
pack. I worry about Kate because she does have eye problems and one of her
eye's wonders pretty severely. I hope she doesn't get teased. I wish I could
be with them every second of every day forever to keep them safe. While it's
fun to watch them grow, there's a part of me that feels sad. Is this normal?
I'll probably sing happy birthday to him and cry at the same time!  

 

Jeri