[blparent] how to handle a baby while you multi task

[Bernadetta]

Rebecca,
Woe, aren't you overstepping the line here a little? Don't answer that; 
I don't think you'll agree that you are.
But unless you know hina and hina's situation on a more personal level 
than the rest of us, who are you to make assumptions on her 
relationship with her husband? While you may have one valid point, that 
parents might find that spending time together with their baby is more 
enjoyable than separately, you went ahead and made a bunch of comments 
about being miserable, about separation, etc.
Correct me if I'm wrong here, but Hina asked us for suggestions on how 
to handle her child when she needs to multitask. She didnt' ask for a 
marriage councelor. There's no reason to be sticking one's nose into 
someone else's marital life when they haven't asked anyone to do so. 
Perhaps you think you're being helpful, but in case you haven't 
considered this, not everyone can afford to have one parent stay at 
home from work. Also, not everyone can afford to invest in daycare. In 
this case, both parents have to work alternating schedules, and there 
may be no way around it. Some people don't have certain luxuries, no 
matter how much they can benefit from them.
So unless you know something I dont' know, let's not pit a new mother 
against her husband and tell her what she should and shouldn't do about 
her marriage and lifestyle. Let's instead support her as a parent and 
if she asks us for advice on her relationships and how her free time 
should be spent, then we can perhaps dispense that sort of advice.
My partner and I are lucky enough to both work from home, and so we do 
have that cherrished time with our baby together, but even partners who 
are both with the baby constantly have to alternate responsibilities. 
Sometimes I feel like we're doing shifts and we both have two other   
jobs in conjunction with our paying jobs; Our home and our baby. Often 
we can enjoy time together as a family, but sometimes our household 
runs more eficiently and smoothly when we take turns.
So it's nice that you have this wonderfully idealistic view of how co 
parenting should work, but as we all know, being a parent is a tough 
job. And while we're on the topic of tough jobs, a marriage wouldn't be 
a genuine partnership without a few tough times now and then. Anyone 
who feels they might disagree with me, please feel free to do so, but 
every relationship, no matter how good it is, is a work in progress. 
Even the best of them have occasional kinks.
Again, as I said previously, the nature of your last message suggests 
that you know more about hina's situation than the rest of us do. If 
that's true, then that's nice of you to offer her advice, but  if 
you're just assuming, well... you know the old saying. when you assume, 
you make an ass out of you and me.
Had to put my two cents worth in.
Rant over now.
And I sincerely hope we haven't scared Hina off with our tendencies to 
get too personal on here.

Bernadetta