[blparent] Roommates and being a single parent?

[Jo Elizabeth Pinto]

Hi.  I would also add that just because your older one has used an annoyed 
tone with her baby sister, and even with you, doesn't necessarily mean she's 
picked up the habit from the roommate.  If I recall correctly, she must be 
either a young teenager or close to her teen years.  She's been through a 
lot with the loss of her dad as she knew him before.  Chances are, she would 
have used an annoyed tone with you and her sister sooner or later.  Heck, 
mine's only four and a half, and she's perfected the "Okay, fine" attitude 
at times, although she doesn't get away with it.

It's sort of the baby crying in a restaurant thing.  That really annoys many 
people who don't have children.  Those of us who do can feel sympathy for 
the parents of the wailing child, and gratitude that it isn't ours who is 
yelling.

Jo Elizabeth

I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and 
died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
-----Original Message----- 
From: Bernadetta Pracon
Sent: Saturday, September 08, 2012 11:46 AM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [blparent] Roommates and being a single parent?

Katie,
Hmm. This is a tricky one. Unfortunately it seems you've landed
yourself a roommate who's not very partial to children. I can imagine
that being a single parent and rooming with someone who doesn't have
kids has to be tough on both of you, for different reasons.
It seems that she's just plain annoyed with your kids. From what you've
described, she finds them to be intrusive and she doesn't seem to like
your parenting style or the way they behave. But that's not necessarily
your fault or the fault of your children--I mean, if your kids are
uncontrollable spoiled brats, she might have a right to comment. I have
no idea how they behave and how you raise them. still, kids are going
to be kids.  but even then, you're the mother, not her. I understand
that you probably didn't have much of a choice, but I think you picked
an incompatible roommate. When a person doesn't have kids, they aren't
very sensative to the needs of children, nor do they want to be
bothered with them. We as parents see children, whether our own or
someone elses, differently.  Someone who's already a parent is likely
to have more of a soft spot for someone else's kids. Someone who
doesn't have any kids might find it hard, or even impossible to adjust
to living with a couple of them. She may have been treating your kids
with decency before you moved in together, because she didnt'  run into
them on a daily basis. Things get a little more difficult when you have
to share living quarters.
It's good that you're planning on getting out of that situation, but
for now, just try to stay out of her way and keep your kids out of her
way too. And by that, I dont' mean walking on eggshells. It's her place
just as much as it is yours, so your kids can't feel uncomfortable at
home. But i would minimize her interaction with your kids as much as
possible, especially with the little one. She doesn't need to be
exposed to such negativity at that impressionable age. The sad truth is
that both of you probably should have put a bit more forethought into
the living situation; Two women, one being a single mom and one who's
not a mom at all, living together can become very tricky. But
ultimately, she knew what she was getting into--or she should have
known at least. Just try to practice common courtesy  toward her as
your roommate, and ask the same of your kids, but dont' involve her in
any aspect of the kids' upbringing, whether it be picking them up from
school, feeding them, etc.  There's really not much else you can do,
since this seems to be someone who's generally annoyed with the
prospect of kids living under the same roof as herself. it
s likely that she's even more unhappy with the situation than you and
yoru kids are. Just wait it out and meanwhile, stay out of each other's way.
Hope that's constructive

Bernadetta

_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
blparent:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/jopinto%40msn.com