[blparent] the meaning of no

Mon Sep 10 04:51:06 UTC 2012

Hello Jodi,

Children can become deaf to the word no if it's used a lot.  You'll want to
save that word for very special situations and really the times when your
daughter is in danger.  Especially at your daughter's age it is most
important to merely set up your environment to be as baby proofed as
possible and get her focused on another safe task whenever she's going
toward something that isn't good for her.  Your totally correct in that she
is too young to understand what is safe and dangerous and getting firm with
her at only 7 months will only confuse and frustrate her.  You can calmly
explain things in simple terms like saying, "hot" around the stove but I'd
be matter-of-fact about it otherwise you'll just make yourself the scary
thing by getting animated about it and have the opposite effect from what
you were setting out to do.  There are some amazing materials out there on
brain development in babies which details how a baby learns and when to
introduce different things.  It's not like the earlier you introduce
punishment into your daughter's life the quicker she'll learn what to avoid.
Her brain actually needs to be at that developmental stage in order to
receive it otherwise you'll merely be exhausting yourself and confusing your
baby.  You want your daughter to understand as she gets older that because
mom and dad say no so rarely that when it's said it's something very
important.  I don't know what type of TV you have but it is wise to get that
sucker bolted into the wall or into a sturdy entertainment center.  We have
a friend who just lost his 2 year old grand-son to just that thing when the
toddler pulled a flat-screen TV over onto himself.  If you have a way to
bolt it into the wall or a sturdy stand that would probably be best.
Time-outs at this age aren't going to do any good except frustrate your
daughter so I would simply focus on getting her distracted with positive
activities that are safe for her especially since baby's attention can be
changed so quickly and easily.  Out of sight, out of mind as the old saying
goes.  When it comes to wires that you don't want your daughter playing with
and staying out of the kitchen, those things can be easily remedied with
baby gates or barricading off certain areas in whatever way works.  This way
you're not constantly feeling like you have to hover over her like a
helicopter worrying about the next dangerous thing she'll get into.  One
can't make their home 100% perfect for a baby but you can get it pretty
close so that both you and baby can have the most fun, positive and relaxing
environment possible for the whole family.

Hope this helps.

Erin 

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
Sent: Tuesday, September 04, 2012 9:01 AM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] the meaning of no

Tape the wires down and you either want to anchor the tv, or put it on the
floor.
I'm not sure I agree with the folks saying a baby is too young to
understand. Well, the baby probably is too young to understand but that
doesn't mean they don't have to learn certain norms and rules for society.
Think of it like clothes, babies don't understand why we wear clothes, but
we put them in clothes and they just have to deal with it. It isn't an
option at least not in most cases. Same for the tv and wires, you can set it
up so they can't mess with that stuff. In time they will learn why they
shouldn't, but even before that point, the idea is that "listen kid, you.
Do. Not. Interact. With. The. Wires. Or. The t.v.
Don't think you can always supervise, no one can be in that high a state of
alertness all the time. And, you do have every right to relax in your home.
I'd suggest taping the wires down, anchoring the tv or just putting it on
the floor if it won't impact visual enjoyment.

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Veronica Smith
Sent: Saturday, September 01, 2012 6:56 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] the meaning of no

When gab was young like yours, I blocked her entering our kitchen with a
play pen.  I didn't put her in it very often only when I was cooking or when
I needed her to stay out of something right then and there.
You are doing it right, you just have to keep saying no and pulling her away
and you have to keep her away from dangerous wires and that heavy TV.
When you say no to her, don't just say no calmly, say it harshly, like you
mean it. Sometimes you have to raise your voice a bit, that shows them it is
important.  Don't spank or hit, just the voice will show that it is an
important thing. Maybe like saying, sharply, "no dangerous"  or "no hot!"
This is what I did.

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jodie and Kahlan
Sent: Saturday, September 01, 2012 2:55 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] the meaning of no

Hi. Kahlan will be seven months old tomorrow and she's crawling all over the
place now. This is great, but she's also going places she's not supposed to
go. We keep telling her no and pulling her away, turning her in the opposite
direction of the potential danger, but she goes right back to it and we have
to keep pulling her away. We tell her if we have to tell her no one more
time we'll put her in either her crib or her bouncer, then when she does it
again we do what we said we'd do, but she still does it the next time. I
know she's too young to understand, "if you do this, that will happen," but
we just figure it's not too early to start teaching her about consequences.
she may not get it now, but she will eventually. But I was just wondering if
any of you had any other suggestions. We don't want her going near the TV
because it's not on a stirdy shelf. We'll be getting rid of the shelf, but
we need someone to help us move the 300 pound TV off of it first. One person
has to move the stand and two people have to hold the TV. Plus, there's the
plug to the TV back there and we don't want her getting that. We don't want
her to go into the kitchen because if we're using the oven we don't want her
to get burned, and the kitchen is so small that Chris and I can't even work
together in there because there's just not enough room. We can't wait to be
in our new place in a few weeks!
We keep her away from Chris's desk the best we can because of the wires back
there. We keep them threaded through the hole in the desk that's made for
that purpose, but she still manages to get under there by climbing over his
chair. Does anyone have an effective way to teach no to a seven month old?

--
Hugs from Jodie and kahlan
"Only a fool walks into the future backward."
Terry Goodkind

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