[blparent] update on our lives.

[Bernadetta]

Wow, this is a tough one. I can certainly sense your frustration with 
the situation and you have my sympathies, from one mom to another.
I am no expert in this at all, but my humble oppinion is that you 
should definitely address this with your child's pediatrician as soon 
as possible. You should also request to be referred to a specialist of 
some sort to try and help you deal with this. My guess is that it may 
be a developmental issue, just judging by what you said about him not 
being able to comprehend the test with the beeps and the blocks in the 
bucket. Don't quote me on this, but as far as I know, no matter how 
stubborn a child is, he or she is usually able to be trained by around 
three, four at the latest unless some underlying issues are stopping 
this from happening. By not having him trained by this point, he is 
most likely missing out on many social opportunities that kids his age 
most certainly get. Do you have him in preschool, for instance?
About the babysitting delemma...It seems that you have someone 
babysitting your child who may not be up to the task. A famly member of 
mine has some mild developmental issues; They've never been diagnosed 
but it's pretty obvious--And while she loves my son dearly and she is 
twwenty-five years old, I would not feel comfortable to leave her with 
him unsupervised because she does have the mentality of a young 
teenager. She's a lot like a kid herself, even moreso than an average 
teenager in fact--My point is, if you don't feel comfortable with that 
babysitter, you shouldn't use her services. I do understand that your 
options are limitted, but all the more reason to expedite this potty 
training issue. Meanwhile, look online to see if you can find a 
dedicated nurse or someone who works with incontinent adults or 
specializes in childcare, someone who's professional life makes them 
perfectly capable  to change and manage a big toddler in that way. I 
say this because if you find someone who changes people other than 
babies on a regular basis to babysit for your child, he or she won't 
have a problem with it. Your son deserves care from a sitter that is 
efficient and competent, not only in childcare in general but in 
managing his specific circumstances.
Good luck, and I hope this helps, even a little.
Please keep us updated

You'll be in our thoughts and prayers

Bernadetta.