[blparent] Joining a mommy and me group

Sat Oct 10 03:40:16 UTC 2015

I hear what Jo Elizabeth is saying,

I joined a moms of preschoolers group. While I go to the meetings twice a month.  I do not attend any of the other events. I went to one park playdate and that did not go well.

The events are always held up faces that I am unable to get to on my own. They are too far away from public transportation

The nice thing about the moms of preschoolers group that meets twice a month is that there is childcare so I am able to go and sit and talk with other moms who are going through the same experience is that I am.
I am able to go and listen on knowing that my son is safe and having a fun time.  The one challenge that I have found is getting the information that is passed out emailed to me  ahead  of time.

It is a national organization, so I am still working on contacting the head of the organization to find out what can be done about this.

They serve breakfast to the moms and there are always a lot of moms there who are willing to help me get my food and tell me what our options are. It has been a wonderful way to make friends, now I just need to work on fostering those friendships outside of the meetings

Jennifer W.

~ sent from my iPhone using Dictation and VoiceOver, please feel free to ask for clarification if anything is unclear. ~

On Oct 6, 2015, at 9:44 PM, Tara Briggs via blparent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:

Thanks so much for your email! The story you told is the reason why I have been putting off joining a mommy and me group for the past year. However, I am starting to go a little bit crazy! I absolutely love my baby! She is the best! However, the days get pretty long and pretty boring and pretty lonely  with only a 14 month old to talk to. For those of you who have and stay at home moms, what have you done about feeling isolated?
Thanks for any advice!
Tara
And will you please let us know when your new novel comes out on audible.com? I would really love to listen to it!

Sent from my iPhone

> On Oct 6, 2015, at 4:33 PM, Jo Elizabeth Pinto via blparent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> I tried a Mommy and Me group, and for me, it was an absolutely miserable experience.  I'm not saying it will be awful for you, but there are definitely some things I could have done differently that might have changed the outcome in my situation, or at least improved the odds that things might have worked out better for me.  I never went back to give the group a second try, so I don't know if I could have educated the moms or structured the environment in a more accessible way or anything during future visits.
> 
> First of all, find out where the group you are interested in holds its meetings.  I went to a group that met in a large room at a rec center. Strike one.  The moms sat around some tables that were set up in a horseshoe formation at one end of the room, and the kids played with toys on a rug at the other end.  The room echoed because of the high ceiling and the vast space, and I couldn't hear much of anything that went on with my child once she wandered away from me and went for the toys she hadn't seen before and the new playmates.  Plus, she kept wanting to dart outside every time the doors were opened.  The setup was not ideal for a blind mom, and I may have given the other moms the idea that I couldn't keep tabs on my child very well.
> 
> Then,, decide how you will get to the meetings.  I called the number on the Web site and chatted with the mom who ran the Mommy and Me group.  She seemed nice, and when she offered to pick me up on her way to the meeting, I accepted gladly.  It was winter, and taking the bus with a squirmy toddler while there was ice on the ground wasn't my idea of a good time.  The mom and I found plenty to chat about during the car ride to the meeting.  Having kids the same age seems to open up the communication channels.  But as soon as we got to the rec center and I was settled comfortably in a chair, the mom disappeared among her friends, and that was the last I saw of her. Strike two.  Use your own transportation so you can leave if you want to. All of the other moms in the group knew each other well.  Very well, in fact.  I was introduced briefly, and after that, I might as well have been invisible.  I was given fruit and coffee, but the moms were doing some kind of craft, and I wasn't asked
to join in.  That was just as well because I'm not too good at those artsy sorts of things, but I felt more and more uncomfortable at the meeting as time passed.  Especially since I had a lot of trouble keeping an ear out for my daughter.  I figured she was doing okay since she wasn't fussing and she didn't seem to be starting trouble with the other kids, and mostly I was listening to make sure she didn't go out the doors when people came and went.  Now and then she brought toys to show me, and I heard some of the other moms commenting about that, but I felt like I was being watched as if I were a science specimen, and definitely not part of the group.  I wondered if I should somehow impose myself into the conversation when I heard some remark about how my daughter showed me toys, but I wasn't sure what to say.
> 
> Finally, the hour and a half was up--it felt more like a year and a half to me--and the mom who had given me a ride came back around to take me home. She told me I was welcome to come along to any Mommy and Me events in the future, and I thanked her and said I would let her know if I was interested, but we both knew at that point it wasn't going to happen.
> 
> So, what I would recommend is, if you want to go, ask questions.  Find a group that meets in a small room.  Find a group that has outings to places you want to go.  The group I went to had a lot of young, upscale moms--I'm an older parent, for starters, and maybe not as outgoing as I should be. Maybe I didn't try hard enough to break into the social group, or maybe I just didn't have enough in common with that particular demographic.  I could have searched for a different group, but the wind had been thoroughly taken from my sails by that point, and I never did look.  Once my daughter started school, I found it easier to be present in her classroom.
> 
> Jo Elizabeth
> 
> "The Bright Side of Darkness"
> is my newly published novel,
> available on Kindle and in paperback at Amazon.com.
> -----Original Message----- From: Tara Briggs via blparent
> Sent: Tuesday, October 06, 2015 3:44 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Cc: Tara Briggs
> Subject: [blparent] Joining a mommy and me group
> 
> Hi, have any of you who are stay at home moms joined a mommy and me group? My sister-in-law found a couple of groups in Utah where I live. I'm thinking about joining one of them. If any of you have been a part of mommy and me, or a playgroup for preschoolers, how did it go? Do you have any advice?
> Thanks!
> Tara
> 
> Sent from my iPhone
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