[blParent] How to get more support

[Christina Rebilas-Kruzik]

Clayton,
 Coming from a Mom whom went through very similar circumstances when my son
was between 6-8 months old (he’s 7 now) a few nuggets of wisdom for you
that I pray helps.
First, don’t nix daycare. If you have a good daycare in the area they will
be your saving grace both as an advocate (how much each parent is/isn’t
involved) as well as knowing enough to know you need community.  I was the
same where I never wanted my child in daycare and it ended up being a great
choice temporarily too mind you. It’s not forever but my son continued till
preschool then switch for elementary later on.

In order to get things done and know it doesn’t have to be for all day,
even part-time it helps on taxes too if you would go that route, as well
as, allows your son to grow and develop important social skills among many
other benefits early on for good development- just interview daycares as
you would a job and find a good fit. I’m not sure what area you live but I
found one that wasn’t super expensive but had academic components as well
and that was a great fit. It’s more than babysitting.

Other option would be find a good PT Nanny:caregiver you trust if you don’t
have a family member or friend whom could help. Biggest acknowledgment is
you need care and community to help. It’s difficult if not impossible to go
it alone. For court/custody- I found most courts will opt automatically for
50/50… when you do have down time that way please know you’ll embrace it
and need it for healing the wounds of divorce and it’ll make you a better
parent too because you’ll need breaks here and there for your overall
health and well being especially as your son grows. It’ll be hard- very
hard at the start and stuff you’re working through now, but- know it does
somehow  work out. If you have a good legal representation
 too hope they advise you just to document all interactions and keep a
monthly summary like phone calls, emails, texts, appointments and when
custody does take place when and how long etc… it’s helpful in showing
involvement.
Wishing you the best,
You CAN do this-
Christina

On Tue, Nov 28, 2023 at 7:56 AM Esoteric Quality via BlParent <
blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:

> I am at a point of other exhaustion at this point. My son is 7 months old,
> and I literally do most of the work in taking care of him. His mom barely
> has him for at the most a few hours, before she asks me to take him back. I
> love watching my son. That isn't the issue. However, it makes it very
> difficult for me to get essential and important things done. While I have
> neighbors that do support me, they can only help out a few minutes at most.
> Me and my son's mother are also in court over custody and parenting time,
> and I am going to be pushing for the primary care position, since I am
> doing most of the work. Anyway. My question is, how do I get more support
> so that I can get what I need to done, while also making sure that he is
> well cared for? I am at a loss. I don't really want to send him to daycare
> for obvious reasons.
>
> Clayton Jacobs.
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