[Faith-talk] I am in a great delemma

[qubit]

Have you tried marriage counseling?
It is an unfortunate fact that people are most hurtful to the ones closest 
to them. Often this means developing habits that are hard to break -- like 
criticizing and withholding praise, not controlling anger, and you probably 
can name a few more.  It takes 2 to keep a relationship healthy and 
nurturing. I hope you can work it out.  Remember, it's not just you and a 
few stray thoughts or a temper or whatever. It's the interpersonal dynamic 
that has developed a personality of its own.
Prayers and well wishes!
--le

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Neil Vosburgh" <ndvosburgh at comcast.net>
To: <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, June 17, 2010 2:26 PM
Subject: [Faith-talk] I am in a great delemma


Hi everyone:  This is Neil and I am seeking some major advice.  My marriage 
is currently in what I call "disaster Mode" and primarily is my own doing, 
but I have a question.  Wouldn't you think that God would bring someone in 
to your life who you are excited about?  I realize many are "called to 
besingle but I don't believe that is the case for me etc.  I know of the 
scripture in the book ofGenesis where God said, "it is not good for man to 
be alone, and I have prayed all my life that He would bring someone whom I 
could love and care for.  Unfortunately, the truth is, I have never been 
excited about Debbie from the beginning but I simply said to God, Lord if 
you will do this for me I would be so grateful etc.  I was forty-two when I 
met and married Debbie and I have been with her seventeen years now.  To 
complicate matters, I have been attracted to other women simply because of 
the attractiveness of their voice etc.  I won't go in to any details here 
except to say, that I know that it is hurtful and very wrong what I have 
done to Debbie.  She says for instance, Practice your singing, but when I 
do, she simply tells me to be quiet, a slightly modified version of that 
statement.  She calls me everything but late to dinner etc.  What can I do? 
I want to love and be loved by Debbie, at least on one level, but it 
certainly isn't happening.  I have a continual ache in my heart because I 
would like to experience the joy, love and intimacy of a lady who  could 
love me for who I am in spite of all my flaws, what the Bible calls "Sin. 
Should I have remained as a single person?  Does God really desire for me 
his best as Jeremiah 29 Verse 11 says.  Please pray that God will help both 
Debbie and I work things out, or that He could bring a positive change, that 
is, that both Debbie and I find compatible mates etc, or that He change my 
heart so that I can love her.  I realize that both Psalm 14 and Psalm 63 
paints the picture that there is indeed "No righteousness in us and that 
only God can cleanse and purify our hearts through the blood of Jesus Christ 
etc.  Thank you for hearing all my ramblings.  Have a great day and I hope 
that things are really joyful and happy for all of you, it certainly isn't 
currently for me.  Neil G. Vosburgh



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