[Faith-talk] Daily Thought for Saturday, June 14, 2014

[Paul]

Well folks, here in the United States and possibly other nations it's the day before we celebrate in our own individual ways what fathers have meant to us, if in fact we still have living fathers.  Of course, there's always the heavenly Father whom we can look to for guidance.  For those of you who are fathers reading this, I wonder what your kids are going to give you for your special day? Well, you'll find out soon enough.

John M. Drescher wrote an article for the American Tract Society several years ago entitled "Checklist For Fathers," rendered as follows:

"What should I have done differently? If your children were small again, what would you do?"

These words burst from the heart of a father who felt he had failed.  They are not the words of just one father.  In them are the questions that are uppermost in the minds of many fathers (and mothers), if they take parenthood seriously.  I've pondered these questions, and a few suggestions have surfaced.

First, if I were starting my family again, I would be more free to let my children see that I love their mother.

I would seek to be faithful in doing little loving things for her--opening the car door, placing her chair at the table, giving her little gifts on special occasions, and writing her love letters when I'm away from home.  I would take her hand as we walk.  I would praise her in the presence of my children.

A child whose parents love each other has a security and stability about life that is gained in no other way.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25).

Second, I would listen more.  Most fathers find it hard to listen.  After a busy day, we are tired.  But I would listen when my child shares his little hurts and complaints, and what excites him.  I would try to hold back words of impatience at the interruption.  Such times can be the best times to show love and kindness.

One evening, a small boy tried to show his father a scratch on his finger.  Finally, after repeated attempts to snag his father's attention, the father stopped reading the newspaper and said impatiently, "Well, I can't do anything about it, can I?"

"Yes, Daddy," his son said, "you could have said, Oh."

I would try to understand what my child says.  I now believe that the father who listens when his child is small will have a child who cares what his father says later in life.

In listening, I would pay more attention to my child's questions.  It is estimated that the average child asks 500,000 questions by the age of 15.  What a privilege for every parent--unlimited opportunities to share something about the meaning of life and about your own dependence on God!

"And these words which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart; And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shall talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up" (Deuteronomy 6:6, 7).

Third, I would seek more opportunities to give my child a feeling of belonging.  When a child feels he belongs in his family and is of real worth, it is not a big step to also feel accepted, loved, and worth something to others and to God.

A child feels he belongs when he is involved in the responsibility and work of the family.  Celebration of birthdays--when the person rather than the gift is central--creates a sense of belonging.  We can build that same sense into the child when he hears us pray for him.  No part of child guidance is more important than assuring the child by action and word that he is important and that he has a place in the affections of the family.

"Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord:  and the fruit of the womb is his reward" (Psalm 127:3).

Fourth, I would express words of appreciation and praise more.  Many children seldom hear words of commendation and encouragement when they do a job well or exhibit good behavior.

Will Sessions, discussing the topic, "If I Had a Teenager," says, "I would bestow praise.  If he blew a horn, I would try to find at least one note that sounded good to my ear, and I would say a sincere good word about it.  If her report for school was to my liking, I would say so, hoping that it would receive a good grade when it was turned in, and I would be vocal."

Probably no other thing encourages a child to love life, to seek accomplishment, and to gain confidence more than proper, sincere praise, not flattery, but honest compliments when he does well.

"Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of My Father which is in heaven" (Matthew 18:10).

Fifth, I would spend more time with them.  A group of 300 seventh and eighth-grade boys kept accurate records of how much time their fathers actually spent with them over a two-week period.  Most saw their fathers only at the dinner table.  Some never saw their fathers for days at a time.  During an entire week, the average time a father and son were alone together was seven and a half minutes!

Arthur Gordon tells an interesting experience from his youth:  "When I was around 13 and my brother was 10, Father promised to take us to the circus.  But at lunch there was a phone call; some urgent business required his attention downtown.  My brother and I braced ourselves for the disappointment.  Then we heard him say, "No, I won't be done.  It will have to wait."

When he came back to the table, Mother smiled.  "The circus keeps coming back, you know."

"I know," said Father, "but childhood doesn't."

"Redeeming the time, because the days are evil" (Ephesians 5:16).

Sixth, if I were to start my family again, I would laugh more.  That's right!

I remember when I laughed with my children--at the humorous plays they put on for the family, at the funny stories shared from school, and at the times I fell for their tricks and catch questions.  I recall the squeals of delight when I laughed with them and shared in their stunts on the lawn or living room floor.  When I laughed with my children, our love was enlarged, and the door was open for doing many other things together.

"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine:  but a broken spirit drieth the bones" (Proverbs 17:22).

Sometimes we manage enough muscle to handle the big things of life, but we often forget that life is largely made up of little things.  A father's faithfulness in the small things determines the happiness of his children, and not just that, it strongly influences their spiritual direction.

The best father is the one who knows God as his heavenly Father.  Only Jesus Christ can provide that relationship.  Only He can say, "I am the way, the truth, and the life:  no man cometh unto the Father, but by me" (John 14:6).  When we place our trust in Christ--believing that only His death and resurrection can bring us forgiveness--then we become a part of God's family.  At that time, we receive a new potential for fathering, for we have gained access to God's unlimited resources.

And there you have Bro Drescher's article which I trust was a blessing to you, especially to those of you who are fathers.

Don't forget that, Lord willing, tomorrow there will be the weekly Bible game, this time from the Old Testament, so get your thinking caps ready for it.

And now may the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob just keep us safe, individually and collectively, in these last days in which we live.  Your Christian friend and brother, Paul