[Faith-talk] {Spam?} The Strength of Kindness by Naomi Zacharias

[debby]

The author of this article is so right; kindness is often overlooked, er considered weak nowadays. Even when people offer to help us whether we need it or not, it is often based on kindness. I love to be able to smile and say thanks, I'm fine, knowing that there are going to be and have been times when I needed that offered help. I am amazed sometimes at the rudeness of some blind fobks when a simple do thanks is pretty generally all that's needed. Being kind in return is so much better.     Debby

On Oct 26, 2016 2:13 PM, Paul Smith via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> The author is either the husband or daughter of the better-known Ravi 
> Zacharias who has a syndicated daily Christian radio program called 
> "Let My People Think." I hope that you will enjoy her article. 
>
> I am a country girl at heart.  I love the city with its bustle, 
> skyscraper views, hotdog vendors and tailored trench coats.  But 
> recently I have been reminded that the old oak trees, rustic fences, 
> acres of pasture, daffodils, easy smiles and cowboy hats of the South 
> are ultimately for me.  A good friend asked what I would be doing in an 
> unrealistic life.  (She admitted she would be a ninja, so that explains 
> the creative bar we were asking for).  Several days later when I was 
> listening to one of my favorite singers, Willie Nelson, a smile came to 
> my lips.  I told my friend, I would be a classic country singer, 
> wearing weathered jeans and antiqued brown cowboy boots with a 
> smoldering bluesy voice like Lily Meola, singing a duet on stage with 
> my pal Willie. 
>
> One thing I love about country music is the storytelling.  I was 
> listening to an artist I recently discovered as she sang the story of a 
> horse with a wild and wounded spirit, rendering her no friend to any 
> rider.  Until one day a man from another town came to visit and tried 
> something no one had.  He sat quietly nearby, but no further.  He 
> offered her space, and he waited.  Eventually the bruised mare 
> hesitantly moved toward him.  He assured her he wouldn't hurt her and 
> reached out his hand.  The mustang lowered her head and her guard, and 
> thus began their journey together. 
>
> It is a simple country kind of song, but a complex reality.  It is a 
> story that reminded me of my own.  I haven't written about this before. 
> In part because some things I carry close to my heart out of respect 
> for the sacred--either mourning something lost or celebrating something 
> won, for both travel to profound depths within the soul.  And in part 
> out of reverence to the gift of privacy that we are all growing ever 
> closer to forgoing entirely.  I share now purposely and with due care 
> and respect for the details that will stay in the recesses of my heart, 
> appropriately sheltered. 
>
>
>
> Fixing the Broken 
>
> I was the daughter of a public leader in ministry.  I was full of hope, 
> anticipation, and naievety.  I experienced the death of divorce twice 
> before I was 30.  I was broken. 
>
> Several years later I traveled to Italy to write a book.  I had come to 
> terms with the life I had, though it was not the life I wanted.  The 
> experience of knowing hope that lands in demise, the profound sense of 
> failure to succeed in something I deeply valued was a painful reality I 
> still wished I could change.  I did not seek love again.  Yet through 
> some seemingly random but divine events, I met someone who changed my 
> life and the way I saw my life.  There is a significant difference 
> between the two.  One is something he offered, the other is something he gave. 
>
> Today I was driving my little boy to school, and we were talking about 
> heroes.  He asked me what a hero was, and I said it was someone who 
> does something extraordinary, something right and courageous and to 
> help other people.  "Who can you think of is a hero?" I expected him to 
> name someone from _PJ _Masks, a favorite program about children who 
> turn into superheroes.  My son looked out the window thoughtfully and 
> then he said, "Daddy."  I smiled and asked him what he sees in his 
> daddy that is heroic.  "He fixes things that are broken," he answered.  
> Yes, he does. 
>
> I do not mean it in the sense of a Hollywood script, where one person 
> "fixes" another, because that really doesn't happen.  But a person can 
> have the tremendous ability to influence another toward faith and hope, 
> to fan the flame of an innate desire to choose to walk toward healing. 
>
>
>
> Handled with Care 
>
> There are hundreds of things I could tell you about my husband.  What I 
> have chosen to share here is a trait we underestimate.  It is 
> frequently overlooked and misunderstood.  In a world growing ever 
> cruel, it is a lost art. 
>
> My husband is kind.  And that makes him exceptional.  He chose to stand 
> nearby in the field of my world and sorrow, somehow able to see the 
> ghost of a spirit that once lived and the fiery fear that currently 
> reigned and needed to be handled with care.  His kindness stirred a 
> frozen place in my heart that had lost hope--in my story, in love, and 
> in myself. 
>
> When we got engaged, many people commented on how lucky I was.  They 
> likened him to a "kinsman redeemer," willing to take my past upon his 
> back and extend a gracious love with an understood "in spite of." 
> Admittedly it did not feel good.  While I generally agreed with a layer 
> of that perspective, I had the distinct feeling they saw him as the 
> better person willing to love the lesser person.  Here is the reason 
> why our relationship has lifted me toward healing rather than falling 
> into the pitfall of shame:  he has never once made me feel that way. 
>
> My husband has treated my story and my bruises with kindness.  His 
> intellect is sharp, and he could benchpress our family (I know this 
> because he actually has done it, accompanied by the thunderous laughter 
> and sheer delight of our handful of toddlers).  He carries physical and 
> intellectual strength with the capacity to overwhelm me, but he chooses 
> to use such strength to care for my heart. 
>
> A friend recently showed me an article written by Gary Thomas with 
> recommended traits to look for in a spouse.  The first on the list is 
> kindness.  I hadn't seen this before.  Perhaps we have forgotten or 
> neglected its power, influence, and saving grace.  This messy journey 
> called life takes us through the exciting, the mundane, the beautiful, 
> and the wearisome.  We need kindness in them all.  It continues to 
> provide a balm to the cracks in my spirit, both old and new.  No, I 
> will never be without scars, but kindness has provided an unexpected 
> luminosity to the previously sharp and angry lines of the breaks. 
>
>
>
> Bolder Than We Think 
>
> A few years ago I was enjoying dinner with friends.  I described my 
> husband's parenting as kind.  It was a compliment.  I am grateful every 
> day that the father of my children treats them with care; he would 
> rather manifest his strength and authority in grace than through 
> consequence.  To my surprise, a dinner guest swiftly and strongly 
> scolded me for publicly emasculating my husband. 
>
> Is it possible that in our earnest desire to protect against a 
> legitimate concern for emasculation, we have overreached? By no means 
> does kindness imply a lack of strength.  On the contrary, it takes 
> self-control to resist the impulses of our humanity and choose 
> compassion, not merely when things are pleasant but when they are 
> downright hard.  It takes intention to extend a hand in the face of 
> conflict.  It requires maturity to offer kindness with sincerity rather 
> than in manipulation.  It takes wisdom to know what makes kindness 
> distinct from passivity, for there is a grand difference.  It requires 
> discipline to demonstrate this throughout your life.  It takes strength 
> and confidence to put another's well-being before personal interests.  
> Kindness is critical to extending a love that enriches, emboldens, and 
> endures.  That is both masculine and feminine enough for all of us to 
> admire, seek, and cultivate. 
>
> Through kindness the Kenites succeeded in saving their very lives; it 
> so impacted King Saul that he warned the Kenites to flee so they would 
> not be destroyed when he attacked the Amalekites (1 Samuel 15:1-6).  
> Rahab's act of kindness won her the loyalty of Joshua's spies, leading 
> them to declare "our life for yours even to death," and promising to 
> show the same kindness to her family in the wake of battle (Joshua 2).  
> Kindness is the second attribute listed for love in the famous passage 
> of 1 Corinthians 13.  It is named throughout Scripture as an attribute 
> of God Himself, including the beautiful Ephesians 2:5-7.  "Even when we 
> were dead in our tresspasses, God made us alive together with 
> Christ--by grace you have been saved--and raised us up with Him and 
> seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in 
> the coming ages He might show the immeasurable riches of His grace in 
> kindness toward us in Christ Jesus" (English Standard version). 
>
> Perhaps kindness is bolder than we think.  To everyone seeking a hero, 
> a partner, a friend, I would suggest that kindness makes the difference 
> between a relationship that is life-giving and one that can leave you 
> with wounds that long for healing. 
>
> My husband is a hero.  Because he can hold and behold things that are 
> broken.  Because he knew even what couldn't be fixed could still be 
> loved and valued.  He has that kind of kindness, that kind of vision.  
> This has added beauty to my story, affecting the way I live with all of 
> my story.  It is helping this horse think I could run, and some days, 
> be brave enough to try. 
>
> (And there you have today's uplifting article which I hope was a 
> blessing for you.  Until tomorrow in this space when another timely 
> article will be posted, may the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob just 
> keep us safe, individually and collectively, in these last days in 
> which we live.  Your Christian friend and brother, Paul 
>
> _______________________________________________ 
> Faith-Talk mailing list 
> Faith-Talk at nfbnet.org 
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/faith-talk_nfbnet.org 
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for Faith-Talk: 
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/faith-talk_nfbnet.org/semisweetdebby%40gmail.com