[Faith-talk] Relationship Issues

Ericka dotwriter1 at gmail.com
Mon May 22 04:23:47 UTC 2017 

Thanks! Just had a few rays of hope this week. Everyone, keep praying that VR somewhere keeps their promise and I get to go to an NFB training center!

Ericka Short
from my iPhone 6+

> On May 21, 2017, at 12:42 AM, Melissa R Green via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Good luck erica.  hope you get that training.
> I think that many are not used to being around people who aren't married, or who don't have children.
> Then there are those that think that you have the plague, or that it was god's will for you not to have children.  I won't even go there about those who never been married, and how we are treated.
> 
> 
> 
> Best,
> Melissa R. Green And Pj
> -----Original Message----- From: Ericka via Faith-Talk
> Sent: Thursday, May 18, 2017 8:22 PM
> To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of Blindness in faith and religion
> Cc: Ericka
> Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Relationship Issues
> 
> Rob it isn't a literal shunning but people just don't know what to say to people with no children so they just don't  intentionally have the opportunity to meet. Ideally if you're not a parent, you can find work to talk about at least. Nobody but the senior citizens who have grown-up kids/grandchildren far away and are not working anymore tend to talk to me. At 45 I'm not ready to hang out with seniors all the time unless I'm getting paid to do so sad to say.  I hope you understand what I'm saying because I know this isn't really well thought out. Volunteerism is important to me and I'm sure that is one way I connect with them. After all they have the time to volunteer and so do I.
> 
> Getting a bit closer to getting adjustment to Blindness training in Minnesota which will help at least with the job situation.
> 
> Ericka Short
> from my iPhone 6+
> 
>> On May 18, 2017, at 9:05 PM, Rob Kaiser via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> 
>> I find it hard to believe that any congregation would shun someone who can't
>> have children. To me, if a woman can't have children, it (more than likely)
>> was God's plan. It couldn't be helped. My problem of getting into a church
>> is that I live in Victorfille, CA which is in the high Desert. The pera
>> transit isn't very good & I have yet to find anyone in the Methodist Church
>> in Victorville to assist me in getting to & from choir practice & getting to
>> & from church. It isn't like 10 to 15 years ago where people were more apt
>> to help disabled people. I guess because the world we live in, this is
>> becoming a bigger problem.
>> 
>> Luckyalee, I get the news letter from my old church in Orange, CA. in that
>> letter there is a link for people to hear the serman from the previous
>> Sunday so I'm able to get some form of church until I can figure out how to
>> get to my church in Victorville.
>> 
>> I'de be curious if anyone else has had the same transportation issues, & if
>> they have found a solution.
>> 
>> Rob Kaiser
>> Email;
>> rcubfank at sbcglobal.net
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Faith-Talk [mailto:faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Melissa
>> R Green via Faith-Talk
>> Sent: Thursday, May 18, 2017 6:27 PM
>> To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of Blindness in faith and religion
>> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: Melissa R Green <lissa1531 at gmail.com>
>> Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Relationship Issues
>> 
>> Very good points Sarah and Erica.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> Best,
>> Melissa R. Green And Pj
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Ericka via Faith-Talk
>> Sent: Tuesday, May 16, 2017 10:19 PM
>> To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of Blindness in faith and religion
>> Cc: Ericka
>> Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Relationship Issues
>> 
>> Thank you for saying this Sara. Now I do appreciate people like you Linda
>> who are able to work in the school and not miss having your own children.
>> However, I have always felt very uncomfortable in congregations that
>> believed as you do. I cannot have children. How would your congregation see
>> me if I were married and had no children? What I still have to stay home and
>> cook and clean for my husband? I am asking this out of curiosity rather than
>> try to make people change their values. I was not raised in a conservative
>> Christian home but I was raised in a Christian home and my mother worked
>> after all three of us were in school. Until then however she was a stay at
>> home mom. She still found time to help us with schoolwork and all the other
>> things Parents need to do. My father and mother worked together to get
>> whatever needed to be done completed at home weathered be chores etc. All of
>> us children were expected to do chores and other responsibilities. Church
>> was never an option but mandatory. I would hope that if I were a married
>> person in your congregation I would be just as respected as married women
>> with children. I also hope that I would not be shunned for working outside
>> the home. I have no aptitude for some of the things you expect the
>> housewives to do like sewing.
>> 
>> I'm glad Linda that you feel welcomed, close to God, and fullfilled in your
>> mission. I firmly believe God puts us where we are needed the most and where
>> he knows we can thrive so that His plan for our lives can be nurtured and
>> happen. We just have to listen to that voice and find out!
>> 
>> Praying for all who are trying to find their call, their mission, their
>> place. Just remember God is with you through it all!
>> 
>> 
>> Ericka Short
>> 1750 Fordem Ave. #508
>> Madison. WI. 53704
>> 608-665-3170
>> 
>> from my iPhone 6+
>> 
>>> On May 14, 2017, at 10:44 PM, Sarah Blake LaRose via Faith-Talk
>>> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>> 
>>> Hi, Linda.
>>> 
>>> I certainly appreciate your perspective on this.
>>> 
>>> I also want to say that speaking as a female, the way that you are
>>> speaking has been used abusively by many conservative churches and there
>>> are many women who cannot, and do not have children to raise, or who
>>> cannot stay home due to the financial needs of their families. Please
>>> bear these things in mind when you are speaking to women. All Scripture
>>> has a context. The words of Paul were written to churches in specific
>>> cultural situations. Paul had no thought that they were ever to be used
>>> to direct the lives of American churches. How we interpret these words
>>> needs to be against the similarity of the culture then and the culture
>>> now. If we demand that the woman stay home and keep house and the result
>>> is that a family becomes impoverished, we have used Scripture to oppress
>>> and not as a tool of blessing. The reality is that many women in ancient
>>> times worked out of their homes and it is likely that the work they did
>>> contributed to their family's welfare both economically and otherwise.
>>> Because of cultural norms, the women did not do the trading. The men
>>> did; but the likely traded goods that were produced by women. Please
>>> think on this before discouraging a woman from working and using her
>>> God-given gifts.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Faith-Talk [mailto:faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>>> Linda Mentink via Faith-Talk
>>> Sent: Sunday, May 14, 2017 10:46 PM
>>> To: Faith-talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Cc: Linda Mentink <mentink at frontiernet.net>
>>> Subject: [Faith-talk] Relationship Issues
>>> 
>>> Hi All,
>>> 
>>> I have read with interest all the posts.  Quite a few things crossed my
>>> mind as I read.
>>> 
>>> Firstly, Bill, as has been said, you're too eager, and will turn women
>>> off with this eagerness or pushiness.  A man tried that with me once. I
>>> wasn't interested in marriage, but I gave him a chance.  He was a
>>> sighted man who played Bass Viol in the orchestra which accompanied a
>>> community choral group with which I sang for many years.  He was very
>>> oppressive, and was so full of himself, that I told him that there was
>>> no room for me, or anyone else in his life.  He asked me how to attract
>>> a woman.  I told him a few things!
>>> 
>>> Secoddly, to Erica's point about "shacking up," this one really bothers
>>> me.  I don't know who made the rule in the Social Security
>>> Administration that people living on SSI lose income when they marry,
>>> encouraging even Christians to disobey God's Word the Bible.  God never
>>> said to forget marriage if you wouldn't have as much mone coming in.  I
>>> believe that this is a serious sin, and that God will not bless those
>>> relationships, and the people in them, as much as He will those who live
>>> their lives in obedience to Him.  Those who do this are defiling the
>>> marriage bed, and committing adultery.  Shame on the American leadership
>>> for putting this rule forward and enforcing it!
>>> 
>>> Thirdly, anyone desiring to be married should study the passages on this
>>> in the Bible, especially if they are Christians.  We are not to be
>>> unequally yoked with unbelievers, so fellowship with those of like
>>> precious faith.  The blind Christian needs to handle himself or herself
>>> appropriately, and must be confident, not helpless and dependent on
>>> others.  Marriage is a partnership, and a sighted person is not going to
>>> even want to enter into a marriage relationship with a blind person who
>>> can't take care of themselves.  As to how far you should go, keep your
>>> clothes on.
>>> And, if you're a man, and you can't support a woman, get a job.
>>> God commands mothers to be keepers at home, which society has disobeyed.
>>> The man is to be the head of the home, as Christ is the head of the
>>> Church, and its up to him to provide for his family.  The woman should
>>> stay at home and raise the children.
>>> That's the Biblical plan.  Some have worked it out so that the woman
>>> goes to work and the man stays home, in the case of some blind friends I
>>> know.  And in some cases, both work.  It's tough to figure this all out,
>>> but it should be done prayerfully.
>>> 
>>> I am 61, and have remained single and a virgin.  I have had
>>> relationships over the years, but they didn't work out.  I am very
>>> content as a single woman.  Paul encourages us to be as he is, thereby
>>> being able to serve the Lord more fully.  Because I don't have to divide
>>> my time between taking care of a husband and family and serving my Lord,
>>> I can be single-minded inservice to Him.  I know many who serve the Lord
>>> together as couples, and most couples I know and fellowship with are
>>> happy, well-adjusted people raising their children in the church.
>>> 
>>> If we are willing to obey God's precepts, we will save ourselves from a
>>> lot of heartache.  Commit your way to the Lord, and He will give you the
>>> desires of your heart.
>>> 
>>> I hope this makes sense!
>>> 
>>> Blessings,
>>> 
>>> Linda
>>> 
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