[Faith-Talk] Faith, Blindness and elderly grandparents

[Ericka]

Hey everybody is everyone all right? Hopefully you are enjoying a mask free summer with family and friends. Wisconsin Paul its mandate and the sizzling temperatures came about the same time so I’m quite thankful for many many reasons that we don’t have to wear the masks anymore.

I don’t know if my subject line intrigued anyone. This has been a pretty darn quiet space lately. I’m surprised there hasn’t been more concerned over churches getting their services online and having them be accessible. Anyhow our church goes back fully next weekend to “normal“.

How does everything else relate to the following below? It’s not death. I’m not worried about that. I’m already prepared for the most part for my grandparents to pass. After all my grandma will be 97 next month. My grandpa just turned 95 a few months ago. However how do people balance the duties of being a caring support of grandchild with their Blindness? Has anybody been a caregiver for their elderly grandparents or a parent? Have you especially cared for someone with Alzheimer’s or other dementia? I’m the oldest grandchild Lucy and my grandma and I are close. Like best friends, sharing secrets and all that. So I can usually read her mind and I can totally understand her dementia world but I can’t be there with her 24 /7. I’d like to be there not to be a home caregiver but to help her transition from home life which is not going well with the wondering issues and stuff to assisted-living. I want her to know that I’m still there. There was one incident where she got out of the house during the day forgot that she had the phone and was talking to me. She ended up wandering around the neighborhood asking everybody they saw if they had seen her granddaughter and of course let them know that she was visually impaired. Her baby brother was run over by a car you see at age 5 and she’s always felt responsible ever cents so she was in another world thinking I wasn’t safe because of the drivers. At least she kept the phone on because then my husband and I could hear what was going on and relayed things to the cops so they could bring her home and make sure she was more I mean my grandpa was home and all but he didn’t realize she wandered off. She had been sitting outside talking to me sitting on the front stoop because the day was nice. This was a while ago. Now she’s going out at night and last night she fell. She’s in the hospital again for  the fall. Yesterday we buried her close friend and former neighbor.

Besides my grandpa, my husband and I are the only family in town. Well I have one cousin was dealing with the same issues with her mother. She’s got a full load. My husband and I don’t drive but my grandpa does so we can do get rides. Passing after the pandemic is a nightmare. The website with all the road information isn’t easily accessible and staff can’t answer questions anymore. Only bus drivers know so you can’t really plan a route anymore you’re in Madison. Most of the good assisted-living places are not on bus routes anyhow and never were. I really wish I could be the granddaughter came to visit every day. I know how important that is after 30 years of either volunteer or paid work in the field of dementia care. I don’t know what to ask for. Of course prayers are helpful but anyone who has advice or emotional support would be very very much appreciated.

We are moving also so it complicates everything more. It’s too expensive to live in Madison and with the unreliable bus situation we are moving to Janesville, a half hour ride southeast which does have busing up to Madison regularl.  We’re trying not to feel guilty. We know that my grandpa won’t be able to drive much longer. There’s probably more I could give you for background but I hope that all have some good help for us. 

Ericka Nelson