[il-talk] child question

[Steven Hastalis]

I felt most ashamed about my blindness after I lost what little sight I had 
in my right eye, when I was six going on seven years old.  The kids on the 
school bus accused me of faking, as I walked tentatively and crookedly 
toward my house.

For nearly six years, I had frustrating and embarrassing experiences, as a 
totally blind boy, walking around without a cane.  I felt ashamed because of 
my inadequacy, lack of alternative techniques of blindness, and lack of 
solutions to my travel problems, as a blind person.

Then, when I started using a cane, certain aspects of travel became so much 
more obvious, fluent, safe, efficient and accurate.  For example, I found 
the line between the sidewalk and grass with my cane, and I no longer had to 
slike my foot.  I found stairs and curbs up and down ahead of me.  I found 
the vertical and horizontal spaces between cars and platforms on Chicago's 
elevated trains, and I no longer had to fear sliding my foot down that gap.

I still did not use my cane much in school buildings, however, resulting in 
some embarrasing moments.  I did not use canes in large public buildings 
until I started college, primarily because I used my cane outside, getting 
to such buildings.  I found it easier just to keep using my cane until I 
reached my final destination in such buildings.

Cordially,

Steve Hastalis

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Bill Reif" <billreif at ameritech.net>
To: "NFB of Illinois Mailing List" <il-talk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, August 22, 2013 3:05 PM
Subject: Re: [il-talk] child question


> Hello Rob,
>
> It's understandable that children don't want to stand out. That's why my 
> son was happy to have me using a cane, rather than using him as a sighted 
> guide, which would have been the only workable alternative. If she knows 
> you can't consistently pass as a sighted person with or without the cane, 
> she will know that your cane lets the public know you are dealing with 
> your blindness independently. It will let the public know that it's not 
> her responsibility to look after you, as they would otherwise assume if 
> your blindness became apparent to them.
>
> Even with a cane, I sometimes needed to fend off comments, directed to my 
> then five-year-old son, about what a great caretaker he was for me -- 
> this as I was taking him toy shopping. When your daughter knows that the 
> cane represents your taking care of you and isn't about her, she will 
> hopefully be relieved. Also explain that most people don't understand the 
> purpose of the cane, and are staring more out of curiosity these days than 
> out of pity.
>
> Cordially,
> Bill
>
> On 8/22/2013 1:39 PM, Rob Kaiser wrote:
>> Hello all. As most if not all of you know, I am a guardian of a nine 
>> yearold girl.
>>
>> Since I have come back out to Socal, and, more than likely, will be 
>> staying here, I am spending more and more time with her.
>>
>> I am, however, incurring a problem: My daughter seems to be imbarrased 
>> about the fact that I use a white cane. I along with my x-wife have tried 
>> to explain to her that it is a necessity for me to use it.
>>
>> Has anyone out there come across this problem? If so, can you please help 
>> me and give me some suggestions in how to deal with this as I will be 
>> spending more and more time with her and in many instances, will be in 
>> the public eye with her.
>>
>> You can email me or call me @ cell#(847)989-0768.
>>
>> Thanks.
>>
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>
>
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