[nabs-l] friends
Hope Paulos
hope.paulos at maine.edu
Fri Nov 7 14:29:21 UTC 2008
I'll have to try that method of carrying a tray while using my
guide dog. Not sure how well it will work, because like several
of you, I have trouble keeping things level. I was actually
carrying an empty plate and had my glass sitting on top of it
once. My dog and I got up and were going to put it away and the
dog shook, and down went the glass! I had the plate in my hand,
won't do that again! Luckily everything was empty!
Hope and Beignet
> ----- Original Message -----
>From: Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com
>To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>Date sent: Fri, 7 Nov 2008 09:10:26 -0500
>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] friends
>Gosh, Sarah, at least I'm not the onl one in your boat. lol
>Beth
>On 11/7/08, Sarah Jevnikar <sarah.jevnikar at utoronto.ca> wrote:
>> yeah... it's a precarious system I wouldn't recommend for long
distances -
>> usually someone rescues me anyway. <smile
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org
[mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
>> Of Beth
>> Sent: Thursday, November 06, 2008 4:44 AM
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] friends
>> You might be right, only you can't possibly keep the thing
level. I
>> am horrible at keeping stuff level at last.
>> Beth
>> On 11/6/08, Sarah Jevnikar <sarah.jevnikar at utoronto.ca> wrote:
>>> I find trays are a disaster and make things harder with a cane.
At least
>>> with a plate/bowl you potentially have a cane hand free.
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org
[mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf
>>> Of Ashley Bramlett
>>> Sent: Tuesday, November 04, 2008 5:38 PM
>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>> Albert,
>>> I've gone to public places alone but not concerts that I can
recall;
>>> although that is auditory and there is no reason why we should
not and
>> enjoy
>>> it.
>>> Beth said she did not go to social events alone and my point is
you can go
>>> to some and get something out of it. She said
>>> "but there are other things I won't do alone either: going to
>>>> concerts, which I have to do anyway; going to restaurants, which
is
>>>> fine with me because I don't have to carry food around which I
don't
>>>> know how to do because I don't feel I can hold a plate with one
hand
>>>> and cane with another, and we don't have trays at FSU, no we
don't;
>>>> and going to parties and such."
>>> It is much more fun to go to things in groups but I don't think
blindness
>>> should stop you from going to concerts, restaurants and parties
if that
>> is
>>> what you want to do.
>>> No I have not been to a concert alone that i recall, but I did
go to a
>> play
>>> at school alone. I've also gone to restaurants alone; I get
tired of
>>> cafeteria food and the Ballston commons Mall is near. You can
easily walk
>>> there from the metro and buy stuff from a regular restaurant or
food
>> court.
>>> Some students go in groups; others go alone.
>>> Yes I do agree that attending a sporting event such as
basketball or
>>> baseball would not be fun alone because with the crowd and noise
it is
>>> difficult to navigate and you cannot ask your friend what is
happening
>> then.
>>> However there are other events that you can do alone. Now if
Beth or
>> anyone
>>> wants to go to events in groups because that is there
personality that is
>>> fine. But blindness should not get in the way. I for one would
like to
>> go
>>> to more things like concerts or out to eat with friends but
they're busy
>> and
>>> most are just acquaintances, not close friends.
>>> But I'll go to things alone to enjoy if its something I really
want.
>>> Ashley
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Albert Yoo" <albertyoo1 at hotmail.com
>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> Sent: Tuesday, November 04, 2008 2:08 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>> Ashley, have you gone to a concert alone? It wouldn't be any fun
to go to
>>>> a concert or sporting event alone to a basketball football
baseball or
>> ice
>>>> hockey game you wouldn't be able to get around easily at the
stadium if
>>>> you were alone. Albert
>>>>> From: bookwormahb at earthlink.net
>>>>> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>>> Date: Tue, 4 Nov 2008 11:38:08 -0500
>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>>> Beth,
>>>>> I'm surprised you are uncomfortable going to restaurants alone.
Unless
>> at
>>>>> a
>>>>> buffett you don't have to carry food to the table. Your school
is weird
>>>>> if
>>>>> you don't have trays. Most cafeterias do. I think you should
go to
>>>>> concerts or restaurants if you want to. Sometimes people are
not going
>> to
>>>>> be around to take you. Yes its more enjoyable to go to
restaurants and
>>>>> concerts with friends but it is certainly possible to do alone.
You
>>>>> should
>>>>> step out of your confort zone. On a tour bus my mom and I
encountered a
>>>>> sight seer alone from London touring Boston.
>>>>> So people do do big things alone.
>>>>> Ashley
>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>> From: "Beth"
>>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>> Sent: Monday, November 03, 2008 10:49 PM
>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>>>>I looooooove bowling. I usually get my ten frames wrth with
>>>>>> friends,but there are other things I won't do alone either:
going to
>>>>>> concerts, which I have to do anyway; going to restaurants, which
is
>>>>>> fine with me because I don't have to carry food around which I
don't
>>>>>> know how to do because I don't feel I can hold a plate with one
hand
>>>>>> and cane with another, and we don't have trays at FSU, no we
don't;
>>>>>> and going to parties and such. I absolutely refuse to make an
>>>>>> appearence at anything alone. I'd rater be in a group of
friends
>>>>>> because I don't want to look weird or anything.
>>>>>> Beth
>>>>>> On 11/3/08, Serena wrote:
>>>>>>> Hi Harry
>>>>>>> I'd have to disagree about adapted sports, especially bowling.
I love
>>>>>>> bowling! I'll admit, I'm not that great, but who cares. All
sighted
>>>>>>> people
>>>>>>> really have to do for me is help me line up so the ball will go
down
>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>> middle of the lane. Also, my deaf-blind friend (I mentioned in
a
>> recent
>>>>>>> post asking about AIM) loves every sport you can imagine,
including
>>>>>>> golf!
>>>>>>> He can see a little bit, but I think he mostly functions as a
blind
>>>>>>> person
>>>>>>> as far as sports. If you have any specific questions you'd like
me to
>>>>>>> ask
>>>>>>> him, I'm sure he'd be happy to tell me info to help someone
else!
>>>>>>> Serena
>>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>> From: "Harry Hogue"
>>>>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>>>> Sent: Monday, November 03, 2008 7:09 PM
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>>>>> Great topic, guys. I have never had really close friends,
either. Een
>>>>>>> in
>>>>>>> college, I neer developed close relationships--more like people
I talk
>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>> during class, etc. Part of that is my personality--I get really
quiet
>>>>>>> in
>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>> group and jsut naturally prefer to be in a smaller group of
people
>>>>>>> (like
>>>>>>> one
>>>>>>> or two ther people). I have joined the chess club--yes I am a
nerd
>>>>>>> lol--and
>>>>>>> really like it, and get along great with those folks. I go to
the
>>>>>>> Spanish
>>>>>>> table once a weekand do other things--so I make a concerted
effort. It
>>>>>>> is
>>>>>>> good to know that I am not the only blind perso nthat suffers
from
>>>>>>> these
>>>>>>> feelings.
>>>>>>> I would loe to get out there and be able to play soccer--the
real
>>>>>>> thing,
>>>>>>> not
>>>>>>> some weird modified ersion with sighted people helping. Does
anyone
>>>>>>> else
>>>>>>> feel this way? If this is better addressed either off list or on
the
>>>>>>> sports
>>>>>>> and rec list, that's fine. Just thinking of extracurricular
activities
>>>>>>> that
>>>>>>> I would like to participate in but can't. Soemthign we don't
really
>>>>>>> say--but
>>>>>>> when we say that people can participate equally--I don't know
that it
>>>>>>> is
>>>>>>> entirely true when it comes to sports. Granted I've never done
it the
>>>>>>> way
>>>>>>> they migh suggest, but bowling... I see no way of a totally
blind
>>>>>>> person
>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>> bowl and get the same experience out of it with out sighted help
that
>>>>>>> diminishes the experience; likewise, beep baseball and the other
>>>>>>> adapted
>>>>>>> sports. Dont' mean to go off on something I don't know much
about, but
>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>> think it does fit in well with our discussion of social
integration
>> and
>>>>>>> making friends, etc. Thoughts?
>>>>>>> Harry
>>>>>>> --- On Mon, 11/3/08, Beth wrote:
>>>>>>> From: Beth
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>>>> Date: Monday, November 3, 2008, 1:56 PM
>>>>>>> You are right, Carey. The people in question could be too busy.
>>>>>>> However, may I point out that my younger brother, eighteen years
old,
>>>>>>> already has a girlfriend and runs around everywhere with her? I
am
>>>>>>> envious of every sighted person who has a significant other, and
you
>>>>>>> know why he has her? Because he can immitate appropriate social
>>>>>>> skills. I am a firm believer in having good social skills as a
>>>>>>> prerequisite to scoring with the oppoite sex. The key to
winning a
>>>>>>> successful date and keeping that significant other is having
good
>>>>>>> social skills. I have a young man in college here at FSU who is
a
>>>>>>> friend, but he understands unlike the previous people I've dealt
with,
>>>>>>> the nature of blindness and its accessories because his mom had
a
>>>>>>> blind student. I've spoken to him and his mom about this issue
and it
>>>>>>> just makes sense that he wouldn't simply give up on me as a
friend. I
>>>>>>> admit I did a few things he didn't like, but then he admitted he
>>>>>>> wouldn't give up.
>>>>>>> Beth
>>>>>>> On 11/3/08, Carrie Gilmer wrote:
>>>>>>>> I would just like to add to Beth and Hope,
>>>>>>>> Jordan has not had many social offers himself. And he is well
liked
>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>> this
>>>>>>>> is key-respected- in class and in the extra curricular groups.
I have
>>>>>>> found
>>>>>>>> that blind people maybe especially need to be very pro-active on
>> this.
>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>> told him once that to eat lunch with others he needed to
initiate, or
>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>> go
>>>>>>>> out, he needed to call. I told him he was not like a Hollywood
Star,
>>>>>>> people
>>>>>>>> were not going to line up to go out with him. In my own life,
as a
>>>>>>>> sighted
>>>>>>>> person, I can tell you that nearly every one of my friendships
are
>>>>>>>> because
>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>> my self kept in contact. I called, I made the lunch date, I
invited
>>>>>>>> them
>>>>>>>> over, I remembered the birthday card. I have friends from grade
>> school
>>>>>>>> still, but most often I am the one to keep up the contact. It
is
>> often
>>>>>>> that
>>>>>>>> way, some people are better at it. I never care or make anyone
feel
>> it
>>>>>>>> mattered if they haven't called me for three years, I don't even
>>>>>>> listen to
>>>>>>>> the "excuse" I just say forget it, how are you now, wanna do
>>>>>>> lunch on
>>>>>>>> Thursday and catch up?
>>>>>>>> I know that there are people who will avoid the blindness, most
are
>>>>>>>> though
>>>>>>>> just unsure. But I think it can affect fro your end too, in the
can
>>>>>>>> you
>>>>>>> walk
>>>>>>>> the walk you talk totally? Like that little girl I mentioned, IF
your
>>>>>>> skill
>>>>>>>> level and independence is not truly equal that can effect. But
on the
>>>>>>> other
>>>>>>>> hand kids know Jordan is equal to them in school, I think
sometimes
>>>>>>>> they
>>>>>>>> don't realize he is equally independent out of school too. On
the
>>>>>>> other
>>>>>>>> hand, he is often too busy to have any free time to go out, and
these
>>>>>>>> days
>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>> know a lot of students (my husband is a high school teacher) who
are
>>>>>>>> high
>>>>>>>> GPA, working jobs, volunteering and in extra curricular and they
>> don't
>>>>>>> have
>>>>>>>> time much either. So I think they aren't calling like he isn't,
>>>>>>> just too
>>>>>>>> busy!
>>>>>>>> Carrie Gilmer, President
>>>>>>>> National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
>>>>>>>> A Division of the National Federation of the Blind
>>>>>>>> NFB National Center:
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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