[nabs-l] O/T How You Do It

[T. Joseph Carter]

Joe,

For some reason, this one's not funny.  I think maybe I've had too 
many co-workers like that.

Joseph

On Thu, Apr 09, 2009 at 07:10:32PM -0400, Joe Orozco wrote:
> Listen up folks,
> 
>Those of you graduating in May and joining the rest of us in the working
>world, this is how you make life less stressful.  And, if you've got more
>school beyond this May, reading this amusing little article is how you
>postpone studying for those finals.--Joe Orozco
> 
> Take a Day Off -- On the Clock
>By Steven Yang
>
>I use all my vacation days. I read in a self-help book last year that when
>you have a superior mind, you have to give it time to breathe. So I let mine
>breathe at comic book stores and "World of Warcraft" conventions. The
>problem is that when you're as bright as I am, you need more than the two
>weeks of vacation a year I get at this company. Six to eight would be about
>right.
>
>I usually blow through my vacation time by April or May, which means I need
>to find other ways to take time off. I'll be honest; I've gotten pretty good
>at it. I use a few different tactics, but here is the tried-and-true method
>that will always get me a day away from the office.
>
>I start out by sending an e-mail to everyone the night before that says I'll
>be in late the next day because I have a contractor coming over to give me
>an estimate on my floors (or something similar). I don't even own my
>apartment, but my boss isn't smart enough to catch on. So I get to sleep in
>and spend the morning eating cereal and watching cartoons.
>
>When I finally get into the office around 11, I surf the web for a while
>after putting up a sign on my door that says, "Extremely Busy, E-Mail Only
>Please." I counter that by setting my e-mail office assistant with a message
>that states I will be in and out of the office a lot today and will return
>your e-mail when I can. It's a thing of beauty. I also decline all meetings
>for the day and say that I have a conflicting "high-pri" meeting.
>
>Then I swing by my boss' office around noon and let him know that I have a
>doctor's appointment over lunch and that the office always runs slow. By
>this time, he's totally forgotten that I came in late because he's too busy
>checking his fantasy football team and kissing up to his manager. This buys
>me about three hours. Mind you, I still haven't done any work.
>
>My three-hour lunch starts at my favorite bar eating potato skins and
>knocking back a few vodka shots. The nice thing about vodka is that no one
>can smell it on your breath. Major score. I follow that up with a trip to
>the comic book store and then swing by the office for the rest of the day. I
>usually do this on Fridays because everyone is out by 4 (they have zero work
>ethic). So that puts me back in the office a little after three with an hour
>to go. I watch a few more viral clips on the Internet and then make the
>rounds to chat people up until it's time to go. This is "hideout" time
>because it's when my boss usually comes looking for me to do his work. While
>I don't have a ton of friends at work, I can usually find someone to talk to
>about movies or superheroes before I head out the back stairs for the day.
>
>All without ever even opening my e-mail.
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