[nabs-l] questions about cane travel and independent travel

Wed May 12 18:13:57 UTC 2010

Kerri,
 first,  thank you so much for asking  the   questions you have! I
think it's not always easy to ask questions in front of your peers
because  it's  not always  easy to admit what you may not know.  Not
knowing something is healthy and  it is even healthier to seek the
answers to those things you  want to/need to know about.
 I think that we all are kind of  still figuring out what/where our
level of independence is and learning about  when to  improve it in
certain  situations.
 I honestly have taken it as a process and most times I'm going to
grab my  trey and  walk  with my friend to find my seat and  have my
meal or  will meet my friend at the movies or the ballpark because
that's how I  like to handle situations.  There are times when my
friend grabs my food before I get the chance to react or  maybe they
insist  on picking me up.   I have learned to let  some of that go and
not get too worked up over it.  I would say challange yourself within
what feels right for you- if your friend wants to pick you up and  you
feel like you can get there just fine  and maybe you want  the fresh
air; then no problem with walking or taking  the bus if you just want
that time to do it.
 If you just feel like  the travel is a bit much and you like the
company of the friend then having them pick you up  may not be a bad
thing either.
 I would just  say that  you are undertaking a process that we are
either going through, have gone through, and will go through.  We all
have  good ideas and you have good thoughts and questions.   Thank you
for your   thoughtfulness during  this process of understanding what
it means to be   blind on a personal level.
  respectfully,
 Darian

On 5/12/10, Joe Orozco <jsorozco at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi Kerri,
>
> Remember one thing anytime you head out, whether it be the mall or any other
> place.  It's rather basic, but it's so basic that many of us forget it.  We
> are our own worse critic.
>
> In other words, I think we sometimes have the tendency to over analyze what
> we're doing and spend not enough time actually enjoying what we're doing.
>
> >From your posts I gather you are not an unpleasant person.  You seem
> friendly and thoughtful.  I somehow doubt you would be one pegged to rudely
> tell someone that you are "Miss Independent and please back off now or
> else."  You're clearly socially conscious, otherwise you would not have
> these questions, so just use these natural attributes and make the best of
> the situation.  Though I am not suggesting that you pretend to be what you
> are not, I think it important for us to sometimes think about how we would
> act if we were fully sighted.  Blindness only becomes a concrete social
> hindrance when you allow it to be.  Remember the rest of the public is
> mostly curious about what we do and how we do it.  Many people have not had
> the opportunity to interact with a blind person, and you could choose to be
> overly concerned about how they might perceive you, or you could take a deep
> breath, say "screw it" and just be yourself.  Some blind people are idiots
> and get a stick up their butt when someone dares challenge their
> independence, as if they have something to prove to the world.  How many
> times have you seen sighted people get their feathers all in a bunch when
> they offer each other help?
>
> Remember, you're a typical young adult first, and blind second.  Which one
> the public hones in on is completely within your control.
>
> In terms of your outing, use a cane when you're completely confident.  Grab
> an arm when you are not.  But, learn how to distinguish between grabbing an
> arm is a necessity and grabbing an arm out of fear.  If it is fear, figure
> out what it is you're afraid of.  If you're afraid of tripping, you'll fall,
> make an ass out of yourself, but life will go on, right?  Next time you'll
> learn how to properly sweep the cane in front of you to avoid the same
> mistake.  Besides, it's not as if sighted people don't ever trip.  If you're
> afraid of getting lost, chances are pretty good you'll learn something about
> your surroundings you did not previously know before.  I could write you a
> long list of my most embarrassing moments, NFB or not.  Yet I could also
> write an equally long list of things each experience taught me.
>
> Ultimately, turn the magnifier away from yourself.  You can use this list as
> a learning resource to get all your questions answered, but in the moment,
> when you're out and about, remember to relax.  People really will accept you
> for who you are, and all the little awkward incidents that could happen will
> be reduced to minor afterthoughts because you will have designed a good
> communication channel based on your personality not your disability.
>
> The family is a slightly different animal.  I'll try to address that point
> later when I have a little more time if someone hasn't already covered it.
> Enjoy your dinner and movie!
>
> Joe
>
> "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves,
> some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
>
>
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-- 
Darian Smith
Skype: The_Blind_Truth
Windows Live: Lightningrod2010 at live.com
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are
spiritual beings having a human experience.” - Teilhard de Chardin