[nabs-l] nabs-l Blind Bubble

[Sean Whalen]

Kirt,

While I agree with much of what you are saying, it leads me to a few general
observations:

First, blindness is neither a minor inconvenience nor a nuisance. If it
were, would we really need NFB, ACB, AFB, etc.? No, we would not. It is a
characteristic, of course, but pointing out that it is a characteristic
offers no insight into the impact blindness has on one's life. I am willing
to bet that, for most of us, our blindness has a greater impact on our day
to day lives than our hair color. This isn't to say that we, as blind
people, cannot achieve most anything we strive for, but I do think one's
blindness, both for social reasons and for reasons related to the inherent
nature of blindness, does present us with unique challenges to overcome and
problems to address.

You say that there are things that are more important to you than work on
blindness issues, and that is good, as long as you realize that, in some
sense, there are very few things more important to you and your life
prospects. Something can be important to you in the sense that you care a
lot about it, or it can be important to you in the sense that it effects you
greatly and has a substantial impact on your life. I certainly have
interests beyond blindness. I am very politically active, I volunteer in
capacities not related to blindness, and I care deeply about a broad range
of issues. Equal access to a quality education, for instance, is something
that is very important to me, but without generations of blind people, and
some sighted people too, fighting to ensure that blind folks have life
opportunities, I wouldn't be in the position I am to work on things that I
care about. What I mean to say is that, whether each of us desires to work
in the blindness field or make NFB work a large part of our volunteerism or
not, I hope we can all recognize that the efforts of people who came before
us, as well as those being currently undertaken, matter greatly.

If we start viewing work in the blindness field as second rate, we are not
serving our cause well. True though it is that I have seen people take
blindness related jobs because, in my opinion, it was the easier road, we
must never demean or devalue the work of those who have the passion,
dedication and desire to choose to work in the blindness field. I, for one,
am glad that we have a highly competent and professional staff at NFB in
Baltimore, and I rejoice in capable blind role models choosing to teach
blind kids. Blindness work is not next best, it is important and meaningful
work. I don't want to work in the blindness field, and, in fact, have had to
make a real effort to avoid being pigeonholed into blindness/disability
issues in my current work. I know it is not what I want, but I also know
that that doesn't mean that I am somehow doing better than somebody who
chooses to work in the field of blindness.

Regarding dating, I'll echo what Joe said. If you have a problem with dating
a blind person, I would submit that you have an issue with your own view of
blindness. I don't like losing potential partners because they "couldn't
date a blind person." So, why should I, based on the same ignorant
stereotypes or paltry conveniences a sighted partner would offer write off
all blind people. Obviously, I'd be just as happy to end up with a sighted
woman as a blind one, but do not view the visual acuity of a partner as a
measure of their fitness or desirability.

Just to be clear, Kirt, none of this is directed specifically at you, but
some are prone to look down their noses at couples who have met through NFB
or other blindness related organizations or events. Some blind folks I know
with sighted spouses have an insufferable sense of smug satisfaction at
having gotten a sighted partner. You can hear comments like "I wish more
people would date outside the NFB." Or "I found somebody who is sighted, why
does it seem so hard for people to break out of their blindness bubble?" The
implication, of course, is that, irrespective of all other qualities, the
sighted partner is superior to any blind partner, simply in virtue of being
sighted. It makes me wonder how happy with their inferior blind selves these
lucky people can really be.

Finally, while it is true that the vast majority of the general public is
sighted, it isn't necessarily true that the vast majority of a blind
person's dating pool is sighted. If a blind person is involved with
organizations or programs that place him or her into proximity with other
blind people, it stands to reason that a significantly larger portion of
their friends and/or potential dating partners will be blind as well. Many
of my closest friends are blind. Several of the women with whom I have been
romantically involved have been blind. Is this a negative reflection on my
fitness for friendship or dating? Of course not. Nor is it a sign of social
failure, just as having sighted friends is no measure of social success. We
all have our own priorities, interests and desires, and these, not baseless
notions about the superiority of working in a non-blindness-related field or
dating a sighted person, should be the basis for the decisions we make about
our lives, professional, romantic or otherwise.

Take care,

Sean