[nabs-l] nabs-l Blind Bubble

[Kirt Manwaring]

Sean,
  I agree with a lot of what you're saying.  And, as I said, I admire
greatly people who choose to devote their professional and volunteer
lives to the blindness field.  We need that.  I respect it.
  But, as you said, it's not for me.  At least not as a major part of
my life.  Causes like interfaith dialogue and economic responsibility
mean a great more to me than blindness and, I assure you, have
impacted me on a much, much deeper level.  Yes, it is true that
blindness does mean more than hair color or eye color or what have
you...there are many other individual traits which impact me much more
than blindness.  I'm lazy, I'm outgoing (sometimes), I'm a political
Conservative.  I'm a Mormon.  I have a passion for the law.  I like
public speaki9ng and writing.  I am an Eagle Scout...and those values
in the Scout Oath and Law, which I hope I have even a little bit of,
effect me so much more than blindness ever could.  So, with respect, I
disagree that blindness is one of the most influential characteristics
in my life.
  As for a blind person's dating pool...you're right.  It certainly
could contain a lot of blind people, mine doesn't.  That's all I'm
saying.
  Take care,
Kirt

On 2/10/11, Sean Whalen <smwhalenpsp at gmail.com> wrote:
> Kirt,
>
> While I agree with much of what you are saying, it leads me to a few general
> observations:
>
> First, blindness is neither a minor inconvenience nor a nuisance. If it
> were, would we really need NFB, ACB, AFB, etc.? No, we would not. It is a
> characteristic, of course, but pointing out that it is a characteristic
> offers no insight into the impact blindness has on one's life. I am willing
> to bet that, for most of us, our blindness has a greater impact on our day
> to day lives than our hair color. This isn't to say that we, as blind
> people, cannot achieve most anything we strive for, but I do think one's
> blindness, both for social reasons and for reasons related to the inherent
> nature of blindness, does present us with unique challenges to overcome and
> problems to address.
>
> You say that there are things that are more important to you than work on
> blindness issues, and that is good, as long as you realize that, in some
> sense, there are very few things more important to you and your life
> prospects. Something can be important to you in the sense that you care a
> lot about it, or it can be important to you in the sense that it effects you
> greatly and has a substantial impact on your life. I certainly have
> interests beyond blindness. I am very politically active, I volunteer in
> capacities not related to blindness, and I care deeply about a broad range
> of issues. Equal access to a quality education, for instance, is something
> that is very important to me, but without generations of blind people, and
> some sighted people too, fighting to ensure that blind folks have life
> opportunities, I wouldn't be in the position I am to work on things that I
> care about. What I mean to say is that, whether each of us desires to work
> in the blindness field or make NFB work a large part of our volunteerism or
> not, I hope we can all recognize that the efforts of people who came before
> us, as well as those being currently undertaken, matter greatly.
>
> If we start viewing work in the blindness field as second rate, we are not
> serving our cause well. True though it is that I have seen people take
> blindness related jobs because, in my opinion, it was the easier road, we
> must never demean or devalue the work of those who have the passion,
> dedication and desire to choose to work in the blindness field. I, for one,
> am glad that we have a highly competent and professional staff at NFB in
> Baltimore, and I rejoice in capable blind role models choosing to teach
> blind kids. Blindness work is not next best, it is important and meaningful
> work. I don't want to work in the blindness field, and, in fact, have had to
> make a real effort to avoid being pigeonholed into blindness/disability
> issues in my current work. I know it is not what I want, but I also know
> that that doesn't mean that I am somehow doing better than somebody who
> chooses to work in the field of blindness.
>
> Regarding dating, I'll echo what Joe said. If you have a problem with dating
> a blind person, I would submit that you have an issue with your own view of
> blindness. I don't like losing potential partners because they "couldn't
> date a blind person." So, why should I, based on the same ignorant
> stereotypes or paltry conveniences a sighted partner would offer write off
> all blind people. Obviously, I'd be just as happy to end up with a sighted
> woman as a blind one, but do not view the visual acuity of a partner as a
> measure of their fitness or desirability.
>
> Just to be clear, Kirt, none of this is directed specifically at you, but
> some are prone to look down their noses at couples who have met through NFB
> or other blindness related organizations or events. Some blind folks I know
> with sighted spouses have an insufferable sense of smug satisfaction at
> having gotten a sighted partner. You can hear comments like "I wish more
> people would date outside the NFB." Or "I found somebody who is sighted, why
> does it seem so hard for people to break out of their blindness bubble?" The
> implication, of course, is that, irrespective of all other qualities, the
> sighted partner is superior to any blind partner, simply in virtue of being
> sighted. It makes me wonder how happy with their inferior blind selves these
> lucky people can really be.
>
> Finally, while it is true that the vast majority of the general public is
> sighted, it isn't necessarily true that the vast majority of a blind
> person's dating pool is sighted. If a blind person is involved with
> organizations or programs that place him or her into proximity with other
> blind people, it stands to reason that a significantly larger portion of
> their friends and/or potential dating partners will be blind as well. Many
> of my closest friends are blind. Several of the women with whom I have been
> romantically involved have been blind. Is this a negative reflection on my
> fitness for friendship or dating? Of course not. Nor is it a sign of social
> failure, just as having sighted friends is no measure of social success. We
> all have our own priorities, interests and desires, and these, not baseless
> notions about the superiority of working in a non-blindness-related field or
> dating a sighted person, should be the basis for the decisions we make about
> our lives, professional, romantic or otherwise.
>
> Take care,
>
> Sean
>
>
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