[nabs-l] Grabbing Etc.

Tue Nov 8 05:01:22 UTC 2011

I agree with everything you've said here. As for the safety issue, I've 
noticed the same thing when it comes to ballanse. There have been many 
times when a person was trying to "help" me and ended up causing me to 
trip, or run in to something. For instanse, there was a day when I was 
walking back to my dorm after classes, and was about to cross a parking 
lot. I knew a car was coming, so I wasn't planning to cross. However, a 
passerby still felt the need to grabb me by my backpack and drag me 
several feet backwards. For me, there were a few safety issues here. The 
move obvious one is I could have lost my ballanse. Also, when you grab 
someone from behind with no warning, they're going to react first and 
ask questions later. It's just human instinct. So, it was also unsafe 
for the other person. Finally, it posed a risk to my seeing eye dog 
since when I was pulled backwards, he was too since I was holding on to 
his harness. So, it was just a bad move all around. The part that got me 
was when I turned to ask what he was thinking and he said "there's a 
car," all casually as if he hadn't just allmost pulled me over. Speaking 
of the seeing eye dog, I also can't stand it when someone reaches over 
and grabbs his leash. They think they're being helpful, but they are 
actually hindering us since he can't guide me safely when people are 
doing that. Also, I see him and anything on him as an extention of my 
person, so grabbing the leash is definitely an envation of personal 
space. Okay, someone else can have my soapbox now.
Sam
On 11/7/2011 11:43 PM, Arielle Silverman wrote:
> Hi all,
> I don't know if any of you can relate to this, but for me, being
> grabbed or pulled by the arm or back is more than just a dignity
> issue; it's a safety issue as well. I have always had poor balance,
> and when someone is putting pressure on one side of my body, or
> propelling me from behind, I feel unsafe and unbalanced. If I were to
> bump into an obstacle or trip while being pulled this way, I feel I
> would have a much harder time regaining my balance. For some reason,
> many sighted people think leading me this way is helpful, but in fact
> it's not only unnecessary, but makes safe and efficient travel more
> challenging for me. For example, I went on a white-water rafting trip
> in high school and one of the river guides tried to pull me up into
> the boat by my arm. I felt unbalanced and asked him to let go of my
> arm and let me get into the raft by myself. The guide told me to stop
> arguing with him and pulled me up into the boat. As I was getting in,
> my foot slipped and I wasn't able to stabilize myself because of the
> one-sided pressure on my body. I fell and bruised my leg, and was
> incredibly annoyed that the guide didn't listen to me. I also feel
> very unsafe when people attempt to grab my left arm because I am a
> left-handed cane user and my cane arc is impaired when they do this.
> The absolute worst is when someone grabs me without any verbal
> communication at all, such as a bus driver who grabbed me by both
> shoulders without saying a word because he thought I was going to run
> into a pole that my cane had just barely cleared. Needless to say, the
> silent grab scares me to death!
> Because of these experiences, I have learned to dig my feet in and
> will not follow someone who is grabbing or pulling me, especially if
> they are holding on to my cane arm. I will politely ask them to let
> go, and most people are just shocked that I don't want them to do
> that, especially if I have asked them for verbal directions.
> Unfortunately, many people think the only way to "help" a blind person
> is through this kind of physical maneuvering. Sometimes if I ask
> someone for information or directions, they will answer my question
> and then say, "Do you want me to help you?" I guess implying they are
> offering to physically lead me there. I will of course tell them they
> have already helped me a lot with the directions and that I really
> appreciate their help and don't need any more. If someone does the
> silent grab, or if they refuse to let go after a polite request to do
> so, then I will gently but firmly disengage my arm. Fortunately this
> has been very effective. If time allows I will give a simple
> explanation for not wanting to be grabbed, such as "Please don't grab
> me-it makes me feel off-balance" or "Please don't grab me-it's easier
> for me if you just walk beside me" etc. I do think that most people
> are just very ignorant and don't necessarily grab out of pity, but
> because they believe that grabbing is the most effective way to
> provide guidance to the blind. I try to educate them and some
> definitely do understand. I do feel guilty about times when I have
> snapped at people and not had the time to explain, such as when
> crossing a street or getting on a bus. But even though I feel bad, I
> don't regret my action because to me, it's a matter of safety above
> all else. I've also found that in some circumstances it's actually
> more efficient to do things independently than to be "helped". For
> instance, I went to get a pedicure a few weeks ago and the pedicurist
> insisted on putting my shoes and coat back on me after the pedicure
> was over. I tried to politely refuse, but she wouldn't hear it. Thing
> is, for whatever reason she was very methodical in putting my shoes
> on, and it took her about twice as long to do it as it would have if I
> had done it myself.
> Incidentally, I've never understood why some people get confused about
> sighted guide and think the technique is for them to grab my elbow and
> walk a step behind me. Even when I teach people the proper way, they
> will occasionally "get it backwards" and want to grab my elbow
> instead. Isn't it a lot harder to lead or guide someone if you're
> behind them than if you're in front of them?
> Best,
> Arielle
>
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