[nabs-l] Grabbing Etc.

Tue Nov 8 18:22:52 UTC 2011

Good morning all,

One technique that mmy partner who is also blind and and I use is, 
holding a person's shoulder. This way, the awkward, who is to grab 
whose arm, is removed. Try it.
for today,
CarAt 06:39 AM 11/8/2011, Lea williams wrote:
>My dad has always tried to lead me by pushing me through doors. I
>always hated it and would trip in to signs and stuff if he was turned
>around trying to hold the door open for another behind us. I would
>tell him not to and to let me go behind him, but he insisted in doing
>it like this so he could see where it is that i was going. Leading me
>by me hanging on to him would force me to be behind him and he could
>not see me. I get people who wants to guide me the way the nurses do
>to the older in the hospitle, holding my elbow, but I do not like this
>either, I feel more likely to trip. If I am walking wiht someone and i
>grab their arm, they grab my hand, I grab their arm again and they go
>after my hand presistantly , I will either say let me hold your arm,
>or I am going to hold on to your arm, all in a nice way of course. But
>some people, like some of the bus drivers who I will ask to walk me in
>to places that are complicated, like my doctors, will grab my hand and
>I just go with it a lot of the time. It is how my much younger cuzzins
>led me, but that was because they were to short for me to hold their
>arms. One driver held my hand up really high and then ergently told me
>to slow down, I was walking to fast and step up step up.
>I had to go to the doctor for applying for a guide dog lately and the
>new doctor lady insisted on me being on that aweful table instead of
>the much perfured chair, so she grabbed my hand to make sure I did not
>get lost in the tiny room and kept telling me to slow down I moved to
>fast. I guess they think we do that granny walk or something?
>I do not feel off ballenced so much, but more vollenerble than if I
>held on to the person the right way. Most people are willing to change
>to what i want as long as I tell them so.
>
>On 11/8/11, Jewel <herekittykat2 at gmail.com> wrote:
> > Add to that my situation, where touching me can sometimes shoot severe
> > pain up and down my body (I have fibromyalgia), and you have a recipe
> > for disaster. When someone grabs me, I stop everything I'm doing and
> > say "Please don't grab me." If they don't let go, I wrench my arm away
> > or if they are touching my back (which is a super big no-no with me,
> > since my spine is super-sensitive thanks to two slipped discs along
> > with fibromyalgia), I arch my back whether it's painful or not, to
> > show them that it's not all right to touch. I'll tell you one story of
> > when grabbing me caused a problem...
> >
> > I was walking from the library and my cane was sweeping back and
> > forth. Suddenly someone came over and grabbed my cane arm and wrenched
> > me sideways. I shouted in alarm and wrenched my arm away, but my arc
> > had already been interrupted and I didn't realize that there was a
> > pole right in front of me. This was one of those metal poles to hold
> > up a handicapped sign. I hit it full on becaus emy cane's arc had been
> > interrupted and didn't catch the pole, and now I have a dent in the
> > upper part of my forehead from that pole. It didn't break the skin,
> > but I can always feel the dent if I rub my forehead.  Plus it caused a
> > minor concussion. I was soooo embarrassed by it, but realized later
> > that it wasn't my fault, that it was caused by this person grabbing my
> > cane arm. Sheessh!
> >
> > ~Jewel
> >
> > On 11/8/11, Joshua Lester <jlester8462 at students.pccua.edu> wrote:
> >> LOL!
> >> My brother guides me all around Walmart, and he likes to go faster
> >> than I can go.
> >> He doesn't understand that I can't walk at a normal pace, because of a
> >> Syatic Nerve problem.
> >> Blessings, Joshua
> >>
> >> On 11/7/11, Sam Hogle <hogle.sam at gmail.com> wrote:
> >>> Actually, I've had the opposite problem. For some reason, guides think
> >>> they have to go slower. The funny thing is they think I can't walk at a
> >>> normal pace, but they also think I can see the curbs we walk up or down.
> >>> I will never understand people.
> >>> On 11/7/2011 11:50 PM, Joshua Lester wrote:
> >>>> Wow!
> >>>> Arielle, you've been through it!
> >>>> That's not necessary, that they do those things!
> >>>> I've been through alot of stuff regarding this, as well.
> >>>> I've also had guides go faster than I'm accustomed to, and I've
> >>>> fallen, because they didn't go at my pace.
> >>>> I always tell people, if they guide me, that they must go at my pace.
> >>>> Blessings, Joshua
> >>>>
> >>>> On 11/7/11, Arielle Silverman<arielle71 at gmail.com>  wrote:
> >>>>> Hi all,
> >>>>> I don't know if any of you can relate to this, but for me, being
> >>>>> grabbed or pulled by the arm or back is more than just a dignity
> >>>>> issue; it's a safety issue as well. I have always had poor balance,
> >>>>> and when someone is putting pressure on one side of my body, or
> >>>>> propelling me from behind, I feel unsafe and unbalanced. If I were to
> >>>>> bump into an obstacle or trip while being pulled this way, I feel I
> >>>>> would have a much harder time regaining my balance. For some reason,
> >>>>> many sighted people think leading me this way is helpful, but in fact
> >>>>> it's not only unnecessary, but makes safe and efficient travel more
> >>>>> challenging for me. For example, I went on a white-water rafting trip
> >>>>> in high school and one of the river guides tried to pull me up into
> >>>>> the boat by my arm. I felt unbalanced and asked him to let go of my
> >>>>> arm and let me get into the raft by myself. The guide told me to stop
> >>>>> arguing with him and pulled me up into the boat. As I was getting in,
> >>>>> my foot slipped and I wasn't able to stabilize myself because of the
> >>>>> one-sided pressure on my body. I fell and bruised my leg, and was
> >>>>> incredibly annoyed that the guide didn't listen to me. I also feel
> >>>>> very unsafe when people attempt to grab my left arm because I am a
> >>>>> left-handed cane user and my cane arc is impaired when they do this.
> >>>>> The absolute worst is when someone grabs me without any verbal
> >>>>> communication at all, such as a bus driver who grabbed me by both
> >>>>> shoulders without saying a word because he thought I was going to run
> >>>>> into a pole that my cane had just barely cleared. Needless to say, the
> >>>>> silent grab scares me to death!
> >>>>> Because of these experiences, I have learned to dig my feet in and
> >>>>> will not follow someone who is grabbing or pulling me, especially if
> >>>>> they are holding on to my cane arm. I will politely ask them to let
> >>>>> go, and most people are just shocked that I don't want them to do
> >>>>> that, especially if I have asked them for verbal directions.
> >>>>> Unfortunately, many people think the only way to "help" a blind person
> >>>>> is through this kind of physical maneuvering. Sometimes if I ask
> >>>>> someone for information or directions, they will answer my question
> >>>>> and then say, "Do you want me to help you?" I guess implying they are
> >>>>> offering to physically lead me there. I will of course tell them they
> >>>>> have already helped me a lot with the directions and that I really
> >>>>> appreciate their help and don't need any more. If someone does the
> >>>>> silent grab, or if they refuse to let go after a polite request to do
> >>>>> so, then I will gently but firmly disengage my arm. Fortunately this
> >>>>> has been very effective. If time allows I will give a simple
> >>>>> explanation for not wanting to be grabbed, such as "Please don't grab
> >>>>> me-it makes me feel off-balance" or "Please don't grab me-it's easier
> >>>>> for me if you just walk beside me" etc. I do think that most people
> >>>>> are just very ignorant and don't necessarily grab out of pity, but
> >>>>> because they believe that grabbing is the most effective way to
> >>>>> provide guidance to the blind. I try to educate them and some
> >>>>> definitely do understand. I do feel guilty about times when I have
> >>>>> snapped at people and not had the time to explain, such as when
> >>>>> crossing a street or getting on a bus. But even though I feel bad, I
> >>>>> don't regret my action because to me, it's a matter of safety above
> >>>>> all else. I've also found that in some circumstances it's actually
> >>>>> more efficient to do things independently than to be "helped". For
> >>>>> instance, I went to get a pedicure a few weeks ago and the pedicurist
> >>>>> insisted on putting my shoes and coat back on me after the pedicure
> >>>>> was over. I tried to politely refuse, but she wouldn't hear it. Thing
> >>>>> is, for whatever reason she was very methodical in putting my shoes
> >>>>> on, and it took her about twice as long to do it as it would have if I
> >>>>> had done it myself.
> >>>>> Incidentally, I've never understood why some people get confused about
> >>>>> sighted guide and think the technique is for them to grab my elbow and
> >>>>> walk a step behind me. Even when I teach people the proper way, they
> >>>>> will occasionally "get it backwards" and want to grab my elbow
> >>>>> instead. Isn't it a lot harder to lead or guide someone if you're
> >>>>> behind them than if you're in front of them?
> >>>>> Best,
> >>>>> Arielle
> >>>>>
> >>>>> _______________________________________________
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>--
>Lea Williams
>
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