[nabs-l] Grabbing etc.

[Joshua Lester]

You're right, Bridgett.
I tell people all the time, that I prefer that they don't do sighted
guide, when I can get where I need to go on my own.
I tell them, if they insist, that if they're going to do it, they need
to do it right.
They don't like that.
Blessings, Joshua

On 11/10/11, Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com> wrote:
> We are not obligated to take assistance just because others think we
> require it. Even when being diplomatic and kind in return, we're not
> obligated to do this. If we feel awkward or uncomfortable about being
> offered, or in many cases forced, sighted assistance, we don't need to
> take it or feel bad about declining it. Despite what we are often told,
> and how society views us, we are capable and can think for ourselves. If
> we want assistance of any kind, we know when and how to use it, and it
> is up to us to ask, and decline, for assistance.  We don't have to hurt
> feelings or be aggressive about it, but no one is obligated to accept
> assistance if it's not wanted.
>
> I had a dentist who, though nice enough, always insisted he or a staff
> member guided me around his office. His office was extremely tiny so
> even if I wanted help, it didn't make much sense in such a small
> environment. I always had to assert myself in stating thanks, but no
> thanks. The final straw was when he insisted on walking me out to the
> waiting area and when I removed my hand from his arm, he grabbed it and
> tucked it underneath his arm. I again removed my hand, and he again
> grabbed it. I gently explained that when I decline assistance, it is my
> decision and no one should force anything on me. Especially as a woman,
> I'm not comfortable with men refusing to accept the fact that I don't
> need assistance. It's not a feminist thing so much as a I'm not
> comfortable with men I barely know asserting anything over me when I
> haven't asked for it or declined it. I have since switched dentists.
>
> So no one should feel obligated to accept assistance unless it's what
> you want. We are the ones who make decisions for ourselves; we control
> our own lives; no one has the right to expect, and force, anything on us
> even if done out of kindness. Don't be mean or rude, but don't feel as
> though you have to "submit" to a person's insistance that you take
> assistance.
>
> Sincerely,
> Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
> Read my blog at:
> http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
>
> "History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
> The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan
>
> Message: 16
> Date: Tue, 08 Nov 2011 18:17:45 -0800
> From: vejas <brlsurfer at gmail.com>
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing
> 	list<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Grabbing etc.
> Message-ID: <4eb9e2d9.f05c340a.50d1.ffffaf6d at mx.google.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1; format=flowed
>
> So I guess we don't need to be nice about grabbing? I'm a
> freshman in high school, and one time a senior started grabbing
> my elbow.  I told him politely that I could do it myself, but he
> didn't listen, so finally I said he could "go to class now." My
> aide thought I was being rude, but I felt as if I was adovacting
> for myself.  What are your thoughts on this?
> Vejas
>
>
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