[nabs-l] Grabbing etc.

[Joshua Lester]

That kind of thing must be avoided all the time.
A man isn't supposed to touch a woman inappropriately, anyway.
Personal space should always be respected.
I taught on that, as well.
I told the men, if you have a female customer, at a store you're
working at, don't grab her, when she needs assistance.
I told them to do as I showed them, and do regular sighted guide if necessary.
Blessings, Joshua

On 11/10/11, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
> As a woman it's not just an issue of independence vs. dependence, but
> an issue of personal space and bodily integrity. In our culture, a man
> touching or grabbing a woman has certain connotations that are
> undesirable in most situations especially if the man and woman don't
> have a pre-existing relationship. In other words, having a male
> stranger, dentist, teacher or acquaintance put his arm around me or
> touch me in ways my boyfriend does is not appropriate. Granted, the
> personal space issue is still important regardless of gender, but
> across gender lines these kinds of violations are especially
> egregious.
> Arielle
>
> On 11/10/11, Joshua Lester <jlester8462 at students.pccua.edu> wrote:
>> You're right, Bridgett.
>> I tell people all the time, that I prefer that they don't do sighted
>> guide, when I can get where I need to go on my own.
>> I tell them, if they insist, that if they're going to do it, they need
>> to do it right.
>> They don't like that.
>> Blessings, Joshua
>>
>> On 11/10/11, Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com> wrote:
>>> We are not obligated to take assistance just because others think we
>>> require it. Even when being diplomatic and kind in return, we're not
>>> obligated to do this. If we feel awkward or uncomfortable about being
>>> offered, or in many cases forced, sighted assistance, we don't need to
>>> take it or feel bad about declining it. Despite what we are often told,
>>> and how society views us, we are capable and can think for ourselves. If
>>> we want assistance of any kind, we know when and how to use it, and it
>>> is up to us to ask, and decline, for assistance.  We don't have to hurt
>>> feelings or be aggressive about it, but no one is obligated to accept
>>> assistance if it's not wanted.
>>>
>>> I had a dentist who, though nice enough, always insisted he or a staff
>>> member guided me around his office. His office was extremely tiny so
>>> even if I wanted help, it didn't make much sense in such a small
>>> environment. I always had to assert myself in stating thanks, but no
>>> thanks. The final straw was when he insisted on walking me out to the
>>> waiting area and when I removed my hand from his arm, he grabbed it and
>>> tucked it underneath his arm. I again removed my hand, and he again
>>> grabbed it. I gently explained that when I decline assistance, it is my
>>> decision and no one should force anything on me. Especially as a woman,
>>> I'm not comfortable with men refusing to accept the fact that I don't
>>> need assistance. It's not a feminist thing so much as a I'm not
>>> comfortable with men I barely know asserting anything over me when I
>>> haven't asked for it or declined it. I have since switched dentists.
>>>
>>> So no one should feel obligated to accept assistance unless it's what
>>> you want. We are the ones who make decisions for ourselves; we control
>>> our own lives; no one has the right to expect, and force, anything on us
>>> even if done out of kindness. Don't be mean or rude, but don't feel as
>>> though you have to "submit" to a person's insistance that you take
>>> assistance.
>>>
>>> Sincerely,
>>> Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
>>> Read my blog at:
>>> http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
>>>
>>> "History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
>>> The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan
>>>
>>> Message: 16
>>> Date: Tue, 08 Nov 2011 18:17:45 -0800
>>> From: vejas <brlsurfer at gmail.com>
>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing
>>> 	list<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Grabbing etc.
>>> Message-ID: <4eb9e2d9.f05c340a.50d1.ffffaf6d at mx.google.com>
>>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1; format=flowed
>>>
>>> So I guess we don't need to be nice about grabbing? I'm a
>>> freshman in high school, and one time a senior started grabbing
>>> my elbow.  I told him politely that I could do it myself, but he
>>> didn't listen, so finally I said he could "go to class now." My
>>> aide thought I was being rude, but I felt as if I was adovacting
>>> for myself.  What are your thoughts on this?
>>> Vejas
>>>
>>>
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>>
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