[nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health

Sat Sep 15 06:11:43 UTC 2012

Hi, Chris,

I am one who, pretty early on identified blind people receiving the 
short end of the sexual information stick, and I didn't have any 
belief watsoever in those drawings.    I have been reading sexy, 
books as well as listening to Howard Stern and the Loveline, radio 
show with Adam Carola and Dr. Drew as well as just going out and 
doing, not trusting accounts of things. After all, most information 
is delivered to us via a 2nd sometimes 3rd, hand.  So, I reasoned why 
sit on your hands if you have an opportunity actually to experience 
it? Is Experience not one's most trusted of teachers?
So, I didm't know what a condom looked like so I went and found one, 
and for myself checked it out. I had been reading naughty books as a 
kid so I knew enough to get me into some fun, satisfying trouble.
Car sighted high school students, probably a good many of them have 
seen a condom or could at least describe what one looks like, all 
weirdness and uncomfortable feelings aside.  So, I really like your 
idea of doing a breakout session either at Washington Seminar or at 
another NABS/NFB event.  Perhaps the NABS board could start by 
submitting the idea to the state NABS Presidents to see if they would 
be interested in doing such a breakout session at their respective 
state student seminars.  While there is some truth to Carly's point 
that sex is a fact of life for everybody, I also believe that blind 
people, particularly blind students, don't get the exposure to sex 
and related things that sighted students get.  This is partly because 
we're not able to see the visual models and representations that 
sighted students are seeing.  Some of them can be reproduced into a 
tactile graphic, but I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a tactile 
graphic of a condom.  Therefore, if NABS could do something in this 
area, either on the state or national level, I think it would be a 
great help to those blind students who are curious about safe sex as 
a blind person.

>Chris
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com
>To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>Date sent: Mon, 10 Sep 2012 21:18:00 -0600
>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health
>
>Hi all,
>I have joked in the past about how NABS should sell Brailled Whozit
>condoms at convention! Kidding aside, though, there are probably some
>NFB leaders with more conservative leanings, who might feel that NABS
>selling condoms at convention would be promoting sexual activity among
>young or unmarried blind students.  I don't agree with that position,
>but some people do and since anything NABS does is, by extension, an
>NFB-sanctioned event, we would need to balance the benefits of
>providing condoms against possibly upsetting the NFB leadership or
>bringing on an unwanted political debate.
>I would be more likely to support a NABS breakout session, at
>Washington Seminar or elsewhere, about sexuality in general, and
>perhaps include an opportunity to try putting a condom on the
>proverbial banana or some such.  When I was 15, I went to a diversity
>camp (for sighted teens) and there was a sexuality workshop available
>as one of several choices.  They passed around condoms and in fact,
>this was the first time I actually felt one.  A general workshop about
>sex, dating and etiquette, etc.  might be worth having.
>Arielle
>
>On 9/10/12, Brandon Keith Biggs <brandonkeithbiggs at gmail.com> wrote:
>Hello,
>This would be an awesome idea! Not only because many people have never seen
>
>a condom, so they could finger the packages with labels without having to be
>
>embarrassed, but when I was at the hotel I didn't run into any condoms in
>the store.  Granted I wasn't looking for them, but I was browsing...  Condoms,
>
>lube and Dental Dams, all labeled in Braille! We would also probably need to
>
>provide guides for people on how to find the right way to put on a condom or
>
>use a dental dam.
>Another thing I didn't see at the NABS table is hot serial.  The packing
>guide in the nabs newsletter  said to pack a ton of things and I for one
>don't keep hot serial in the house and I don't shop at places that sell hot
>
>serial, so wasn't able to grab a box.  But I would have loved to buy a box
>for even $10 or more, the breakfasts there were $10 alone...
>(Then of course
>
>we could sell bole and spoon packs for the poor folks who didn't bring their
>
>own utensil's).
>Thanks,
>
>Brandon Keith Biggs
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Anmol Bhatia
>Sent: Monday, September 10, 2012 8:28 AM
>To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health
>
>
>You would be a good place to sell and buy condoms? At the NFB convention...
>
>Perhaps Nabs should sell condoms at the NABS table.  We can even braille them
>
>so the perso can know what kind of condoms they have.  lol
>
>Anmol
>
>I seldom think about my limitations, and they never make me sad.
>Perhaps
>there is just a touch of yearning at times; but it is vague, like a breeze
>among flowers.
>Hellen Keller
>
>
>--- On Sun, 9/9/12, Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net> wrote:
>
>From: Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net
>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health
>To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
><nabs-l at nfbnet.org>, "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>
><nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>Date: Sunday, September 9, 2012, 10:54 PM
>Hi, Brandon,
>
>I went into a place in Denver to  buy a dildo yes, on
>the bigger, ribbed side to use in the old fashioned bath tub
>I had at the time, to get myself off with the faucet.
>Traditionally, I need something in my ass, to cum.  If I
>remember, the folks in their wer very cool, look at the
>blind girl going to by herself a dildo! Don't worry! If
>you're relaxed, and cool about what you're doing so will be
>the bookstore, personnel.  Let us know how goes it,
>okay?  At 04:52 PM 9/8/2012, SA Mobile wrote:
>Those are the best places to get stuff as the staff are
>professional and are trained to make customers feel at ease.
>Just make sure the shop is of good repute.
>
>Respectfully,
>Jedi
>
>Sent from my iPhone
>
>On 08/09/2012, at 12:36 PM, "Brandon Keith Biggs"
><brandonkeithbiggs at gmail.com
>wrote:
>
>Hello,
>Thank goodness my father was a nurse and when I
>turned 18, he said addio to being in with me at the doctor.
>I do find it amusing though that some doctors are actually
>really uncomfortable touching me because I'm blind...  That
>only happened after my dad started leaving the room.
>Thank you Arielle for those websites.  I don't feel
>that condoms are something I want to buy from a website I've
>never heard of before unless someone I know has gotten or
>knows that site is trust worthy.
>I was told that flavored condoms were only to be
>used in oral intercourse.  The same is not for lube I
>presume?
>Also, has anyone ever gone into a sex store? How
>was it as a blind shopper? Even from sighted people I hear
>the experience is often not pleasant.
>Thanks,
>
>Brandon Keith Biggs
>-----Original Message----- From: Arielle
>Silverman
>Sent: Saturday, September 08, 2012 10:00 AM
>To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>Subject: [nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health
>
>Hi all,
>I know the recent discussions about sex and dating
>are kind of in a
>gray area as to whether or not they're on-topic
>for this list, since
>most of the issues Koby brought up are not really
>unique to blindness.
>So if the moderators or Dave feel this is getting
>too far afield, I
>will happily respect your judgment.  However, I
>also think that
>Brandon's question about where to get condoms is a
>legitimate one and
>that there might be other blind people out here,
>including teenagers,
>who have similar concerns about how to get
>condoms, birth control or
>sexual health information without a lot of
>awkwardness or
>embarrassment.  It can be particularly difficult if
>you have to depend
>on someone else (especially parents) for
>transportation which can make
>going to a clinic or drugstore difficult.
>There are a few places to buy condoms online,
>including
>www.condomania.com
>www.undercovercondoms.com
>and
>www.condomdepot.com
>Believe it or not, they also have some condom
>choices at
>www.amazon.com
>If you go to your health center on campus for any
>reason, it shouldn't
>be a problem  to ask a doctor or nurse there
>about condoms.
>I cannot answer the questions about when to begin
>having sex with a
>partner because that is a highly individual
>decision.  However, I feel
>it important that anyone who is considering having
>sex for the first
>time ensure you understand what all of your
>options are for preventing
>pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, the
>advantages and
>disadvantages of each option, and the proper way
>to use condoms  and
>birth control.  There are  a couple different
>websites with this kind
>of information:
>www.plannedparenthood.org
>(includes live chat with a sexual health educator)
>or
>www.scarleteen.com
>This issue is particularly close to my heart at
>the moment because my
>boyfriend's sister just had an unintended
>pregnancy at a very
>inopportune time (while still in college, with a
>guy she had only
>known for a few months) and was apparently taking
>birth control pills,
>but had not been taking them consistently.  While I
>don't believe that
>sex  should be feared, it is something that
>takes some responsibility,
>planning and foresight to ensure it is enjoyable
>while minimizing the
>risks.  Also, while I won't go into details here,
>there are other ways
>to be physically intimate with someone that are
>less risky, which
>these online forums will talk about.
>I also want to bring up  an issue that is
>somewhat relevant to sexual
>health, which I experienced and I think that some
>of you might also be
>struggling with.  This is the issue of having your
>parents drive you to
>doctors' appointments and then having them want to
>sit in or even
>participate in your appointments.  Since I attended
>college in my home
>city, my mother always wanted to drive me to my
>doctors' appointments
>and would then want to come in and chat with the
>doctor while he/she
>was examining me.  This was partly because my
>parents and I saw many of
>the same doctors and she often thought it was a
>good opportunity to
>ask the doctor a quick question about her own
>health while she was
>there, or because she was curious to see what the
>doctor recommended
>to me about a particular issue.  I eventually
>realized that while it
>wasn't ill-intentioned, it was a violation of my
>privacy as an adult
>patient and I asked her to wait in the waiting
>room while I was seeing
>the doctor.  I didn't actually take this stand
>until I was 21 and in
>hindsight I wish I had done  it much earlier.
>By the time you are 18,
>unless you have a serious cognitive disability,
>you have a right to
>privacy of your medical information and it is
>important to establish a
>good doctor-patient relationship without a third
>person interfering.
>This is especially true when it comes to sexual
>health and by the time
>you are 18 or even 16, you will want to start
>discussing your sexual
>activities or questions with your doctors without
>your parents being
>around.  You might also want to consider getting a
>driver or even
>taking the bus to medical appointments to avoid
>this problem.
>On a related note, by the time you are in high
>school, you should know
>the names of all medications you take on  a
>regular basis and any
>chronic medical conditions you may have.  If you
>ever have to go to the
>emergency room, this kind  of information may
>be requested of you.
>Best,
>Arielle
>
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