[nabs-l] Blindness and Sexuality+Social Norms

[Trevor Attenberg]

Hey Gang,

I admittedly don't read most emails on this list, so forgive me if I am a
redundancy in the scheme of things. I found Arielle and other's messages on
personal and sexual health to be quite pertinent to many of us. Indeed
sexuality and blindness make for an interesting subject. It seems to me that
a large share of the blind community may find it difficult to explore their
sexuality for a number of reasons: transportation, lack of basic skills,
overbearing parents and guardians, alienation from peers and other groups,
incompatibility with many social scenarios, general stigma, etc. I wonder if
high-level academics among us have explored this topic to any depth. I've
been talking to some friends from Vietnam about some conferences and
research in their own country concerning disabled people and
sexuality/marriage. I wonder if some of us would like to share obstacles
they face or did face as blind individuals, or if they have any anecdotes on
the matter. I seem to recall someone on the list sharing some obstacles with
his or her partner's parents during a relationship. In my own experience,
many of my sighted friends assume that blind people such as myself desire
and require people that share the blindness trait. There seems to be a lack
of regard for the suitability and desirability of a prospective blind
partner. Simultaneously, we in the blind community may at certain times
lack the preparation we need.  As we've touched on, sometimes young blind
people have little opportunity to be exposed to tools for sexual health and
pleasure. It appears to me there is the double whammy of underexposure and
tabooed topics that stand in the way of learning. Certainly, sexual health
was not discussed at any blindness training I've been through. On the other
hand, I recall many events put on by NABBS, training centers, and state
rehab services that aim to normalize socializing skills under different
circumstances. I think NABS even had a dating break-out session back in 08
or 09.     

Not to say sex is always a necessary component in a person's lives. Some
people don't even like sex at all.

We're all a bit different. Sometimes perhaps blind people do desire
different things from the typical sighted person. It's something for us to
learn about and take pride in.