[nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.

[Dave Webster]

Hello all.  I'm Dave.  I am not a student right now.  I have bipolar and am
unable to handle the stress of going to school.  I know that this may be off
the topic of this list but I wanted to post it anyhow.  I just got out of a
relationship.  It was a long distance one whare she lives in Michigan and I
in California.  We started talking at the beginning of January right after
new years.  We didn't mean to but we started to hit it off really really
well.  About a week or so later she bought plane tickets for me to come out
there to Michigan to see her.  If I liked it out there then I was most
likely gonna stay and be with her.  Right now I live in a board and care
facility.  It turns out that for a couple of weeks probably when she bought
the tickets or pretty soonn after she began having doubts and fears about
the relationship.  I had my doubts and had my fears as well and knew this
was a normal thing.  We talked about them but a few days later she called
the relationship off because there were some symptoms which were rather
minor ones that she said she couldn't handle.  It turns out that she is now
tomorrow going to see this guy in Colorado.  Mind you she doesn't know this
guy and she didn't know me either but I feel like we had something.  I feel
like my emotions were played with and I'm really hurt.  I was just wondering
if any of you who want to could help me through this.  I've been going
through a lot of crying spells.  During this time on January 10th I lost my
grandma.  She was 90 and had bad dementia and died in her sleep on the
evening of the tenth.  So I am trying to work with 2 losses right after
another.  Loosing my grandma and loosing Terri.  Terri was someone that I
could love and did love and still do.  I wish she wouldn't go to Colorado.
This guy that she's going to see has anxiety and depression as well and she
found him on a sight for people with mental illnesses.  Maybe if any of you
want to we could talk off list.  I've been going through a lot of crying
spells and sometimes I need help through them.  My friends, which by the way
I don't have a lot of I feel like they may not be able to understand what's
going on.  I feel like I wasn't good enough for her.  I'm just really really
hurt.