[nabs-l] CanI dance if I want to?

Mary Fernandez trillian551 at gmail.com
Tue May 14 14:17:27 UTC 2013


Wow, lots of opinions on this topic!
Ok, so to answer Arielle's question of cane stowing in dresses...
Yeah, there is no, um, discrete place to stow a cane in a dress,
unlike a phone... There are clutches that are more like envelopes
shaped instead of the little classic clutch shape. I saw some by Tory
Birch and betsy Johnson. Arielle you are close to my height so if you
get a 55 telescoping, or maybe even a bit shorter since you won't be
using it all the time, you should be able to fit it in the clutch.
I've chosen to always have a cane, even if it's a bit shorter than my
regular straight cane, than having nothing at all. I have to say,
unless I'm with a group of good girlfriends, I don't like putting my
cane down as it can be extremely disorienting in a loud club that big
and crowded with people. If you are with a group of friends and feel
comfortable with this technique, and need rescuing, you can develop
hand signals. Lots of girls do this, so if you need to be whisked away
from an undesirable, it is subtle and effective...
And as for actual dancing, ladies move those hips and don't be stiff.
For specific dances like single ladies, and such, you can always get a
group of friends together and learn the moves on a weekend. It makes
for great laughs and next time you go to a party you will have the
option of not sitting out!
Mary F

On 5/14/13, Julie McGinnity <kaybaycar at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi all,  I don't go to these types of functions a lot if I can help
> it...  But I used to go to formals when I was in high school.  Back
> then I went with a group of friends.  We all had a pact that we would
> never leave one of our group alone.  It wasn't about me being blind or
> anything; we just didn't want to lose each other.
>
> Of course, that isn't practical  now that I'm older.  But I don't
> think I would ever set my cane aside in a corner or against a wall at
> a dance party.  There are too many people.  It is very easy to lose
> your friends  or whoever you are with.  Dances are also kind of
> disorienting to me because of the noise and the crowds, so I would
> feel nervous without my cane to help me get out.  For the women, I
> would suggest getting a purse.  You can get a light wait one that
> hangs over your shoulder and in front of you.  Just make it as light
> as you can to help you dance, but make sure it's big enough for a
> cane.  There are all types of purses.  If your outfit is dark, you can
> match a black one, and if you're wearing a brighter colored dress,
> then go with something silver.  Having a matching dress and shoes is
> always a good way to go.  You don't even need a heavy leather purse.
> A light, cloth one will do.  It also depends on your dress too and how
> formal the event is.  To be honest, I would feel safer keeping a purse
> on me as a blind person because I would hate to misplace something
> like that at a dance and be unable to find it again.  Also, girls, a
> purse is a great place to store the heals when you get tired of them.
>
> As for the dancing, I don't know since I avoid it whenever possible.
> I'd rather talk to people and listen to music I actually like.  The
> club type music isn't really my thing either.  But it's easy enough to
> learn standard dances from a trusted friend or family member.  My
> friends taught me and/or led me through all those dances in high
> school.  But I'd still rather not dance at all.  :)
>
> On 5/13/13, Kirt <kirt.crazydude at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Carly,
>> I'm not offended at all, so don't even worry about it.
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>> On May 13, 2013, at 10:38 PM, Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> A new infraction, TUI (traveling under the influence)
>>> CarAt 07:13 PM 5/13/2013, Darian Smith wrote:
>>>> That makes sense, a lot of sense.
>>>> well.. except for that's the first I  have heard of someone succeeding
>>>> a
>>>> little more so at traveling  when they have had something to drink;
>>>> guess
>>>> we should try to  incorporate that into cane travel curriculum at our
>>>> training centers *smile*
>>>>
>>>>  at  functions with blind people I would even  venture to say that it's
>>>> tough to get your own cane back just because someone almost always
>>>> walks
>>>> out with someone else's cane haha
>>>> On May 13, 2013, at 7:00 PM, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> > I like to jump and twirl around a lot while dancing, so if I tried
>>>> > putting my cane down somewhere next to me I would definitely lose it
>>>> > by the end, and I tend to get kind of disoriented in the process of
>>>> > doing that so finding my table or corner again without a cane can be
>>>> > kind of tricky. Although if I've had a drink or two, I tend to be a
>>>> > better traveler... Or maybe just a more confident one. :)
>>>> > I haven't gone out dancing for a long while now so I don't remember
>>>> > if
>>>> > I kept a purse with me or not. If I went to a club or somewhere else
>>>> > where I didn't know many people then I think I would keep it on, but
>>>> > I
>>>> > would probably prefer to carry a small purse that might not be big
>>>> > enough for the cane. I've actually had the most cane trouble at
>>>> > dances
>>>> > with other blind people, because everybody has a cane and there
>>>> > aren't
>>>> > many folks to keep an eye on your cane for you. I suppose the purse
>>>> > or
>>>> > cane holster might be the best solution, unless there are good sound
>>>> > cues in the venue and it's not so crowded as to be impossible to
>>>> > navigate without a cane.
>>>> > Arielle
>>>> >
>>>> > On 5/13/13, Joshua Lester <JLester8462 at pccua.edu> wrote:
>>>> >> I thought I'd chyme in on this one!
>>>> >> I hate dancing, because the dances I've been to, had a DJ that only
>>>> >> played
>>>> >> rap music.
>>>> >> Where's the classic Country when I need it?
>>>> >> Blessings, Joshua
>>>> >> ________________________________________
>>>> >> From: nabs-l [nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] on behalf of Darian Smith
>>>> >> [dsmithnfb at gmail.com]
>>>> >> Sent: Monday, May 13, 2013 8:41 PM
>>>> >> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>> >> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] CanI dance if I want to?
>>>> >>
>>>> >> You are just brave, I guess. hahaha
>>>> >> On May 13, 2013, at 6:22 PM, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com>
>>>> >> wrote:
>>>> >>
>>>> >>> Yes--and it's funny that everyone who responded to this thread
>>>> >>> before
>>>> >>> me has been male?
>>>> >>> Arielle
>>>> >>>
>>>> >>> On 5/13/13, Kirt Manwaring <kirt.crazydude at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> >>>> Haha, indeed!  I obviously wasn't thinking very clearly...I
>>>> >>>> suppose
>>>> >>>> that would work for any of us guys, if we didn't really care about
>>>> >>>> looking strange...just one of the reasons guys have it easier, I
>>>> >>>> guess.  :)
>>>> >>>>
>>>> >>>> On 5/13/13, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> >>>>> Right, but if I'm going dancing I'm not going to be wearing
>>>> >>>>> anything
>>>> >>>>> that holds a belt! How can you stow a cane on a dress? Just
>>>> >>>>> thinking
>>>> >>>>> about it is kind of hilarious!
>>>> >>>>> Arielle
>>>> >>>>>
>>>> >>>>> On 5/13/13, Kirt Manwaring <kirt.crazydude at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> >>>>>> HI Arielle,
>>>> >>>>>> I've seen those funky cane holster thingies that attach to a
>>>> >>>>>> belt
>>>> >>>>>> loop or something, maybe there are versions somewhere for
>>>> >>>>>> telescopic
>>>> >>>>>> canes?  I think they look kind of silly, personally but I
>>>> >>>>>> suppose
>>>> >>>>>> it's
>>>> >>>>>> an option.
>>>> >>>>>> Best,
>>>> >>>>>> Kirt
>>>> >>>>>>
>>>> >>>>>> On 5/13/13, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> >>>>>>> Hi all,
>>>> >>>>>>> I was fortunate to grow up among many Jewish kids who all had
>>>> >>>>>>> bar
>>>> >>>>>>> and
>>>> >>>>>>> bat mitzvahs, (Jewish celebrations of coming-of-age that happen
>>>> >>>>>>> at
>>>> >>>>>>> age
>>>> >>>>>>> 12 or 13) and most had dance parties for their bar and bat
>>>> >>>>>>> mitzvahs,
>>>> >>>>>>> so I became comfortable with dancing and potentially looking
>>>> >>>>>>> stupid
>>>> >>>>>>> at
>>>> >>>>>>> quite a young age. :) I'm sure some people taught me how to
>>>> >>>>>>> dance,
>>>> >>>>>>> though I can't remember who and honestly, by now I've forgotten
>>>> >>>>>>> most
>>>> >>>>>>> of my formal instruction. I do remember being told that dancing
>>>> >>>>>>> is
>>>> >>>>>>> mainly about having fun and just moving your body to the beat
>>>> >>>>>>> of
>>>> >>>>>>> the
>>>> >>>>>>> music. I'm sure I don't dance perfectly but I've always had fun
>>>> >>>>>>> and
>>>> >>>>>>> nobody has ever criticized my dancing or not wanted to be with
>>>> >>>>>>> me
>>>> >>>>>>> on
>>>> >>>>>>> the dance floor because of my dancing. So I don't think you
>>>> >>>>>>> need
>>>> >>>>>>> to
>>>> >>>>>>> worry too much about how you appear to others. If the group is
>>>> >>>>>>> doing
>>>> >>>>>>> a
>>>> >>>>>>> line dance like the YMCA, and you don't know the moves for that
>>>> >>>>>>> particular dance, there's no problem with sitting it out or
>>>> >>>>>>> just
>>>> >>>>>>> moving off the dance floor to talk to people, or go get a drink
>>>> >>>>>>> or
>>>> >>>>>>> snack or whatever, during that song. If you want to learn some
>>>> >>>>>>> things,
>>>> >>>>>>> you could ask a friend or family member who has lots of dancing
>>>> >>>>>>> experience to teach you or just to watch your moves and tell
>>>> >>>>>>> you
>>>> >>>>>>> what's good and what you could change or improve on. Also, slow
>>>> >>>>>>> dancing is easy for girls who are just supposed to follow the
>>>> >>>>>>> man,
>>>> >>>>>>> but
>>>> >>>>>>> if you're a guy and want to learn how to slow-dance with women
>>>> >>>>>>> you
>>>> >>>>>>> may
>>>> >>>>>>> want to get a little bit of formal instruction.
>>>> >>>>>>> One thing I haven't quite figured out yet is where to put my
>>>> >>>>>>> cane
>>>> >>>>>>> while dancing. When I was younger I would just go with a
>>>> >>>>>>> sighted
>>>> >>>>>>> friend and stash my cane at a table while my friend and I
>>>> >>>>>>> danced.
>>>> >>>>>>> Now
>>>> >>>>>>> I'm less comfortable being with the same person all night and
>>>> >>>>>>> I'd
>>>> >>>>>>> like
>>>> >>>>>>> to be able to keep track of my cane myself without having it on
>>>> >>>>>>> the
>>>> >>>>>>> dance floor with me. If I go to a dancing event I usually am
>>>> >>>>>>> not
>>>> >>>>>>> wearing clothes that allow for storage of a telescoping cane,
>>>> >>>>>>> unless
>>>> >>>>>>> I
>>>> >>>>>>> bring a purse and keep it on me while dancing, which I suppose
>>>> >>>>>>> is
>>>> >>>>>>> an
>>>> >>>>>>> option. I'm curious if others have found good ways to manage
>>>> >>>>>>> this
>>>> >>>>>>> issue. The best solution I've used is to find a sound landmark
>>>> >>>>>>> of
>>>> >>>>>>> some
>>>> >>>>>>> sort like the bar or music stand and put my cane in a corner
>>>> >>>>>>> near
>>>> >>>>>>> that
>>>> >>>>>>> spot. But this doesn't work as well in large venues.
>>>> >>>>>>> Arielle
>>>> >>>>>>>
>>>> >>>>>>> On 5/12/13, justin williams <justin.williams2 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> >>>>>>>> Get a guy then; it's cool.  That works.  Longg as he can dance
>>>> >>>>>>>> a
>>>> >>>>>>>> little,
>>>> >>>>>>>> and
>>>> >>>>>>>> is a good teacher.  Tell him to move you your body for you at
>>>> >>>>>>>> first
>>>> >>>>>>>> so
>>>> >>>>>>>> you
>>>> >>>>>>>> can get the movement.  In japah, that is how the black belts
>>>> >>>>>>>> teach
>>>> >>>>>>>> the
>>>> >>>>>>>> white
>>>> >>>>>>>> belts.  That is how my instructor instructs me.  Also, if you
>>>> >>>>>>>> don't
>>>> >>>>>>>> drink,
>>>> >>>>>>>> then that is fine too.  That is just a trick I use.  You can
>>>> >>>>>>>> do
>>>> >>>>>>>> the
>>>> >>>>>>>> same
>>>> >>>>>>>> thing with a cup of water, or a soda; it should work the same
>>>> >>>>>>>> way.
>>>> >>>>>>>> If
>>>> >>>>>>>> you
>>>> >>>>>>>> don't want to hang onto a cup like that, then any of the other
>>>> >>>>>>>> methods
>>>> >>>>>>>> will
>>>> >>>>>>>> work just fine.  You just got to mix and match my man.  Mix
>>>> >>>>>>>> and
>>>> >>>>>>>> match.
>>>> >>>>>>>>
>>>> >>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> >>>>>>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>>>> >>>>>>>> Darian
>>>> >>>>>>>> Smith
>>>> >>>>>>>> Sent: Monday, May 13, 2013 8:10 PM
>>>> >>>>>>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>> >>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] CanI dance if I want to?
>>>> >>>>>>>>
>>>> >>>>>>>> Hi listers:  should gender matter  in who teaches you?
>>>> >>>>>>>> and  what would you suggest if you cannot or  choose not to
>>>> >>>>>>>> partake
>>>> >>>>>>>> in
>>>> >>>>>>>> alcoholic  beverages?
>>>> >>>>>>>> I think these are very interesting points indeed,  Just
>>>> >>>>>>>> curious
>>>> >>>>>>>> as
>>>> >>>>>>>> to
>>>> >>>>>>>> other
>>>> >>>>>>>> ways you might go about it?
>>>> >>>>>>>> Thanks Justin!
>>>> >>>>>>>>
>>>> >>>>>>>> Darian
>>>> >>>>>>>>
>>>> >>>>>>>> On May 12, 2013, at 3:59 PM, justin williams
>>>> >>>>>>>> <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
>>>> >>>>>>>> wrote:
>>>> >>>>>>>>
>>>> >>>>>>>>> Get a friend, preferably a girl to teach you how to dance.
>>>> >>>>>>>>> Sometimes
>>>> >>>>>>>>> keeping a drink in your hand will give you an excuse not to
>>>> >>>>>>>>> dance.
>>>> >>>>>>>>> Personally, I avoid dance clubs like the plague if at all
>>>> >>>>>>>>> possible;
>>>> >>>>>>>>> however, there are just times in social situations where you
>>>> >>>>>>>>> just
>>>> >>>>>>>>> have
>>>> >>>>>>>>> to shake a leg.  Do the best you can.  Just move your hips
>>>> >>>>>>>>> and
>>>> >>>>>>>>> try
>>>> >>>>>>>>> to
>>>> >>>>>>>>> keep up with the beat.  There are a lot of other people out
>>>> >>>>>>>>> there
>>>> >>>>>>>>> with
>>>> >>>>>>>>> you who can't dance either.  They also look terrible.  If you
>>>> >>>>>>>>> drink,
>>>> >>>>>>>>> it loosen's you up just a little.  It doen't make you better,
>>>> >>>>>>>>> you
>>>> >>>>>>>>> jus
>>>> >>>>>>>>> think you are.  Smile just a little even if you don't like
>>>> >>>>>>>>> dancing,
>>>> >>>>>>>>> or
>>>> >>>>>>>>> aren't very good at it.  The appearance of enjoyment, or
>>>> >>>>>>>>> hopefully
>>>> >>>>>>>>> you
>>>> >>>>>>>>> are actually enjoying your self, lets everyone see that you
>>>> >>>>>>>>> are
>>>> >>>>>>>>> confident; you can't dance and you know it, but you don't
>>>> >>>>>>>>> care.
>>>> >>>>>>>>>  It
>>>> >>>>>>>>> helps.  I feel you man; I'm in the same boat as you accept I
>>>> >>>>>>>>> have
>>>> >>>>>>>>> learned a few tricks to fake it until I can get off of the
>>>> >>>>>>>>> dance
>>>> >>>>>>>>> floor.  I get fairly drunk on nights like that if I go out
>>>> >>>>>>>>> with
>>>> >>>>>>>>> a
>>>> >>>>>>>>> group of people because I am using trips to the bar as an
>>>> >>>>>>>>> excuse
>>>> >>>>>>>>> not
>>>> >>>>>>>>> to
>>>> >>>>>>>> dance.  Remember, if possible, get a friend, especially a girl
>>>> >>>>>>>> to
>>>> >>>>>>>> teach
>>>> >>>>>>>> you.
>>>> >>>>>>>>>
>>>> >>>>>>>>>
>>>> >>>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> >>>>>>>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>>>> >>>>>>>>> Darian
>>>> >>>>>>>>> Smith
>>>> >>>>>>>>> Sent: Monday, May 13, 2013 6:36 PM
>>>> >>>>>>>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>> >>>>>>>>> Subject: [nabs-l] CanI dance if I want to?
>>>> >>>>>>>>>
>>>> >>>>>>>>> Hi all,
>>>> >>>>>>>>> Please  excuse  the slight 80's song reference,  but I am
>>>> >>>>>>>>> curious
>>>> >>>>>>>>> about how you all go about attending social functions where
>>>> >>>>>>>>> dancing
>>>> >>>>>>>>> is
>>>> >>>>>>>>> a part of the atmosphere?
>>>> >>>>>>>>> Do you decide to not  take part in it because you don't know
>>>> >>>>>>>>> how to
>>>> >>>>>>>>> dance?
>>>> >>>>>>>>> are you too shy?   Do you just get out there regardless?
>>>> >>>>>>>>> On Dancing, how do you learn how to dance  if you can't do
>>>> >>>>>>>>> what
>>>> >>>>>>>>> a
>>>> >>>>>>>>> lot
>>>> >>>>>>>>> of folks do and watch it  on television  or the internet?
>>>> >>>>>>>>> Thanks!
>>>> >>>>>>>>>
>>>> >>>>>>>>> Darian
>>>> >>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>> >>>>>>>>>
>>>> >>>>>>>>>
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>
>
> --
> Julie McG
> National Association of Guide dog Users board member,  National
> Federation of the Blind performing arts division secretary,
> Missouri Association of Guide dog Users President,
> and Guiding Eyes for the Blind graduate 2008
> "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that
> everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal
> life."
> John 3:16
>
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-- 
Mary Fernandez
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will
forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them
feel."
—
Maya Angelou




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