[nabs-l] offensive questions

Mon May 27 21:53:25 UTC 2013

I get similar questions like "If you are blind how do you march in a 
marching band?" "How do you use Facebook?"
I have never thought of them as offensive thought because I would be 
asking the same thing if I were in the shoes of those who ask me such 
questions.
I think it's important that we have an open mind and be equipped to 
explain and share.

-----Original Message-----
From: Anna Givens <annajee82 at gmail.com>
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Mon, May 27, 2013 2:45 pm
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] offensive questions

I totally agree!  And as a formerly "sighted" person I will say that 
people are afraid to ask questions, because they are afraid to offend.

Sent from my iPhone

On May 25, 2013, at 1:40 AM, The weird writer 
<weirdwriter9891 at gmail.com> wrote:

> The restaurant bustles with activity as my date and I sit opposite 
each other, talking about ourselves and what we do. To my immediate 
right, a woman is talking to her mom on her cell phone about the 
baseball game she missed. Different smells bounce off my nose as men 
and women pass us making their way to their tables. Dishes clatter in 
the kitchen behind me, and my date’s cologne, masked over with 
deodorant, sprays my sense of smell as I gaze towards his ebony 
accented voice. We’re chatting jovially, our laughter dicing holes in 
conversations around us, making people stop, and, I'm sure, stare at 
this interracial gay couple.
>
> When the dishes come, we get into the topic of careers. He's a 
teacher. With a mouth full, and hesitation dotting his syllables like 
rain, he asks me a very important question.
>
> “If you’re blind, how can you be a journalist?”
>
> Instantly the talons rise, and my fingers toy with the idea of 
creeping towards his throat. A dozen retorts bang into my head as if it 
were a chamber full of bullets, ready to blast this rude insensitive 
sighted person away. After a split second however, I suddenly realize 
that he's never seen adaptive technology, and he's never seen a Braille 
display, and he's certainly never seen a victor reader stream or a 
computer with a screen reader before. He's not in my world and he never 
was. Taking a deep breath, I explain how I'm a journalist when I'm 
blind, all with a huge smile on my face. The reason I choose to answer 
all his questions, and many others, instead of following my gut 
instinct to be sarcastic is, he may not be in my world, but I know he 
can be if I just teach him.
>
> Whenever I hang around blind people and we make jokes about speech 
synthesizers that sighted people wouldn't understand a sentence is 
uttered without fail. Sooner or later, we get to talking about sighted 
people and their lack of blindness knowledge. The words fly at me like 
sharp bullets that are not meant for me. They’re angry at the sighted 
people who ask us how we type on a computer. It's an angry question 
that's become a common one in the blindness community.
>
> “They should know better. Why are they so stupid?”
>
> When that's uttered, I immediately see things through the sighted 
point of view. The truth is, they won’t be an expert about blindness 
ways or technology. They shouldn’t know better because no one knows 
everything, especially about a different way of living. They shouldn’t 
know better. Instead, we have to get angry less, and educate more.
>
> Education is the key of knowledge that will turn itself, unlocking 
the right doors if the right direction is given. Among the disabled 
community who tend to get angry when they're asked to educate, this 
applies to people with HIV and aids as well.
>
> I've seen countless instances where someone with HIV or AIDS gets 
offended when a potential partner asks him if he will contract if they 
exchange saliva. The contracted person became offended, and stormed 
off, hurt. Upon further investigation, I learned that his date didn't 
even know what HIV did. He didn't even know that it didn't have a cure.
>
> A lot of people say ignorance is bliss, but it's also a divider. Even 
today, the biggest hurtle that we all have to overcome is inclusion and 
acceptance, even among the gay community, disabled community, and HIV 
community. In today's day and age, just simple curiosity could ruin a 
good friendship or relationship because of “offensive questions.” That 
divide grows because we are easily offended at the questions we asked 
ourselves at one point.
>
> When I was learning the bus route for my daily commutes, I wondered 
if it would even work, me having to travel on the bus for field 
reporting. I've asked the same question as my restaurant date. “How am 
I going to be a journalist?” with patience, and persistence, I figured 
out the answers with trial and error and learning from my own past 
mistakes. If I would have let my own question offend me then I wouldn't 
have figured out the answer.
>
> I don't have HIV but I had to ask the above question in order to find 
out that you can't get HIV from a small exchange of saliva. I know now 
how to better do my job as a blind journalist because I had to find an 
answer. I couldn't let those two questions go unanswered. If I did, 
then how blissful would I be, ignorant about knowledge that would help 
someone else as well as me in the future.
>
> I don't think anyone should remain in the dark if I have an answer to 
a question. Answers, with all their simplicity sprinkle awareness along 
with their validity. Not far behind awareness comes understanding, and 
soon, acceptance. An answer to a seemingly offensive question doesn't 
just satisfy curiosity but it opens up a door to understand. There are 
a lot of other positive things behind that door even if they’re not 
visible immediately. Some effects are immediate, such as inclusion, and 
others are far off, such as advocacy born from awareness.
>
> When I look around and see a world that's divided as it is, I don’t 
want to divide it even more just because someone asks me how I use a 
computer. If education breeds positive results then people who live in 
different conditions should educate others how they do it. it's the 
only way to end these “offensive questions.”
>
> The goal of inclusion is to do just that, include. My sighted date 
lives in an ethnic world I'll never completely understand because I've 
never lived through the discriminatory history but I can ask questions, 
and with each answer, I'm no longer on the outside anymore. We’re 
together. With every answer I give about my adaptive life, we’re coming 
together in a way that offended people won’t be able to do for a very 
long time. He understands me now and that's the most valuable education 
I could ever give.
>
> If people really want to have us unite to stand for a positive voice 
then we can't widen the distance because we’re offended at questions. 
Instead, we should open our world to people and share as much as we 
can, if asked. If we keep doing that I know that the door will open 
wide enough to let all of us through to a better world, a world where 
we all know each other, stand for one another, and unite for equality 
and embrace the best teacher of all, differences. That would make a 
beautifully educated world, one where I’d be happy to say that this 
positive change was the result of answering offensive questions.
>
> /*See below for resume, writing links, social media links, and other 
writing archives
> */
>
> *Click here to view my resume*
> 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmy.indeed.com%2Fme%2Fking
ettresume%3Fsubfrom%3Dt>
>
> *
> 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdocs.google.com%2Fdocumen
t%2Fpub%3Fid%3D1rASWYM_d-JajxmIKycBzVNgdwhJgUePAw1_IBFchglY>*
>
> *Click here to see my writing archive 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdocs.google.com%2Fdocumen
t%2Fpub%3Fid%3D1rASWYM_d-JajxmIKycBzVNgdwhJgUePAw1_IBFchglY>*
>
> *Click here to view my website/
> / 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Frobertkingett.com%2F>*
>
> */
> /*
>
> */writer for Chicago Theater Beat/ *
> *Tel: 850 764 2161 *
>
> Facebook 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Frobert
kingett> Twitter 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Ftheblindwri
ter> LinkedIn 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.linkedin.com%2Fin%2Fki
ngettr> YouTube 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fuser%2Fk
ingettspeaks> WordPress 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.wordpres
s.com%2F> Blog RSS 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fdescribereview.wordpress.c
om%2Ffeed%2F>
> My latest comedy review: ‘She Kills Monsters’: A Fun Game of Chance 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Famericascomedy.com%2Fshe-k
ills-monsters-a-fun-game-of-chanceshe-kills-monsters-theater-steppenwolf-
theater-company-play-comedy-chicago%2F>
> My latest Audio Description review: Audio Description review: How 
Long Will I Cry? (play) 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdescribereview.wordpress.
com%2F2013%2F03%2F13%2Faudio-description-review-how-long-will-i-cry-play%
2F>
> WordPress 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.wordpres
s.com%2F>    My latest post in my blog:Just in case you missed it & 
other news 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.wordpres
s.com%2F2013%2F05%2F25%2Fjust-in-case-you-missed-it-other-news%2F>
> Read more 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.wordpres
s.com%2F2013%2F05%2F25%2Fjust-in-case-you-missed-it-other-news%2F>| My 
blog 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.wordpres
s.com%2F>
>    Share on Facebook 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fsharer.
php%3Fu%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fblindchicagodream.wordpress.com%252F2013%252
F05%252F25%252Fjust-in-case-you-missed-it-other-news%252F>  Share on 
Twitter 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fintent%2Ftw
eet%3Ftext%3DJust%2520in%2520case%2520you%2520missed%2520it%2520%2526%252
0other%2520news%2520%2520%28via%2520%2540wisestamp%29>
>
> Get this email app! 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wisestamp.com%2Fapps%2
Fwordpress%3Futm_source%3Dextension%26utm_medium%3Demail%26utm_term%3Dwor
dpress%26utm_campaign%3Dapps>
> 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.linkedin.com%2Fin%2Fki
ngettr>
> Designed with WiseStamp - 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fr1.wisestamp.com%2Fr%2Flan
ding%3Fu%3D5ddbf9ed0c4ca423%26v%3D3.13.2%26t%3D1369460407891%26promo%3D10
%26dest%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.wisestamp.com%252Femail-install%253Futm_
source%253Dextension%2526utm_medium%253Demail%2526utm_campaign%253Dpromo_
10>Get yours 
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fr1.wisestamp.com%2Fr%2Flan
ding%3Fu%3D5ddbf9ed0c4ca423%26v%3D3.13.2%26t%3D1369460407891%26promo%3D10
%26dest%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.wisestamp.com%252Femail-install%253Futm_
source%253Dextension%2526utm_medium%253Demail%2526utm_campaign%253Dpromo_
10>
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
nabs-l:
> 
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/annajee82%40gmail.com

_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/kwakmiso%40aol.com