[nabs-l] offensive questions

Tue May 28 22:51:40 UTC 2013

BTW, that book was terrible!
There's alot of better stuff out there by Dr. TenBroek.
Blessings, Joshua
________________________________________
From: nabs-l [nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] on behalf of Joshua Lester [JLester8462 at pccua.edu]
Sent: Tuesday, May 28, 2013 5:45 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] offensive questions

LOL!
We did something similar in my class on the Family.
They blind-folded the students and made them open up a glass bottle of cola, and get it to me.
It was fun listening to them struggle to open it with the old fashioned bottle opener!
Blessings, Joshua
________________________________________
From: nabs-l [nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] on behalf of Miso Kwak [kwakmiso at aol.com]
Sent: Tuesday, May 28, 2013 5:39 PM
To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] offensive questions

LOL I had to laugh reading Melissa's email. haha
I recommend a novel entitled Blindness by Jose Saramago. It's available
on Bookshare.
Although advocacy for the blind is not the central theme it's an
interesting read for us blind people.
In the novel, everybody in the world except for one person goes blind.
I read this book in my AP Literature class and as one of follow-up
activities, the teacher divided my class into small groups and did an
activity where a sighted reader would take the rest of the assigned
small group(blind-folded) to different locations on the campus.
Aside from the book, at a leadership camp I went to for one of the
activities we did, the campers were divided into two groups: sighted
and blind-folded.
The sighted students had to take the blind-folded to dining hall make
sure the blind-folded gets fed.
Although its main lessons were learning how to request help, how to be
a reliable person, empathy, respect, etc I thought it was an
educational activity.

-----Original Message-----
From: melissa Green <lissa1531 at gmail.com>
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tue, May 28, 2013 3:31 pm
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] offensive questions

If I ruled the world.
All of the sighted people would be blind for a few years.
The blind would be in control and we would do all the patronizing
things
that they do to us to them.
*dreamful sigh*.

Sincerely,
Melissa and Pj
"Forever is composed of nows." -Emily Dickinson
facebook Melissa R Green
Linkedin www.linkedin.com/in/melissagreen5674
skype: lissa5674

----- Original Message -----
From: "Arielle Silverman" <arielle71 at gmail.com>
To: "Misty Dawn Bradley" <MistyDBradley at gmail.com>; "National
Association of
Blind Students mailing list" <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, May 27, 2013 7:45 PM
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] offensive questions

Misty,
What happened to you yesterday sounds very aggravating. If I may ask,
was this offending person an employee at an establishment where you
were hanging out, or just someone who was part of your social group?
If she was an employee, then perhaps you might want to call the
manager and complain about what happened? It's one thing to ask
questions, but what's maddening about this situation is that it sounds
like you told her how you do things, and how you prefer to be treated,
and she simply didn't listen. I often feel like strangers I encounter
on the street don't fully listen to what I am saying. Sometimes if I
do need some information and ask a question, they don't really listen
to my question and just say what they think I want to hear. For
example, on Saturday I was walking through a parking lot to get to a
restaurant. There was a sidewalk path, but I remembered that it had
been under construction and was walking in  the parking lot to avoid
the construction. Someone came up and offered to help me get back on
the sidewalk. I asked him if the sidewalk barricades had been removed,
but instead of answering me he kept saying he wanted to help me get
back on the sidewalk and going on about how dangerous it was for me to
be walking in the parking lot. Anyway, I finally had to stop him and
say "Could you please answer the question I'm asking you? Are there
barricades on the sidewalk?" and finally he told me the barricades had
been removed. It would have gone much faster for both of us if he had
just answered my original question the first time and then I could
have moved to the sidewalk without assistance.
I also think the patronizing actions of others are most frustrating of
all. Too often I have people patting me on the arm or telling me I'm
doing a good job as I walk by them, as if I need a cheerleader. I
sometimes am tempted to grab some of these people, inform them that I
will be receiving my Ph.D. in the next year, and then ask them if they
would speak to an adult of my educational stature this way?
As a psychologist I am really intrigued by the ways that sighted
people think about how they would behave if they became blind. It has
been well-documented that people neglect how much they can, and would,
adapt to new situations over time. The fact is that if any of these
doubting sighted folks became blind, they would have to adapt in order
to keep living their lives. Some of them might lapse into depression,
or be rich enough to hire full-time help with everything, but most of
these people would be resilient enough (and practical enough) to learn
the exact same skills we take for granted. However, sighted people
looking into the future don't realize that this would happen. In one
of my blindness simulation experiments I actually asked sighted people
how well they thought they could perform various activities if they
became blind, and most said they thought they would be extremely
incapable. Notably, this was worse for those who had just been
blindfolded and asked to walk around with a cane without any training.
The participants' ratings of how capable they would be as blind people
were closely related to their ratings of how capable actual blind
people would be at the exact same tasks, suggesting that sighted
people think about how they would do it and then use that prediction
to make a judgment about how others would do the same thing blind.
I think when we work on educating people, we want to get across to
them that blindness techniques are things that pretty much anyone can
learn. Those of us who have learned blindness techniques aren't
special and we don't have superpowers. We just learned these skills
because we were motivated to do normal things and we had no other
choice but to use the alternative skills. It's simply not practical
for most of us to have sighted help doing everything, and when we do
take sighted assistance there is often a cost of some sort (monetary
cost, being a burden on others or giving up some of our freedom). So
to minimize these costs we figure out nonvisual ways to get things
done. That's it.

Arielle

On 5/27/13, Misty Dawn Bradley <mistydbradley at gmail.com> wrote:
> Arielle,
> I get those same comments about being "amazing" or "inspiring" also. I
> usually just respond by saying that I am a normal person who is just
doing
> what they need to do in life. I try to explain also how I do it if
there
> is
> time, but usually I do not know what to say either, so I just tell
them
> that
> I just do what I need to do like other people do. A lot of sighted
people
> tell me that they could never travel independently or do anything on
their
> own if they were blind and that they would have someone doing
everything
> for
> them all of the time. I just tell them that there are things in life
that
> need to get done, such as grocery shopping, working, and many other
daily
> things, and it is much easier and makes me feel more free and
independent
> to
> do these things when I want to do them instead of always relying on
> everyone
> to take me or do it for me on their own time. I have a lot more
freedom
> and
> flexibility that way. Sometimes, when I put it that way, they can
> understand
> somewhat what I mean, and they will tell me so.
> Misty
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Arielle Silverman" <arielle71 at gmail.com>
> To: <jsoro620 at gmail.com>; "National Association of Blind Students
mailing
> list" <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, May 27, 2013 8:42 PM
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] offensive questions
>
>
>> Agreed. Unfortunately there are times when people ask questions out
of
>> doubt or sarcasm rather than out of true curiosity. They already
>> believe we can't do something and answering their question about how
>> we do it doesn't persuade them to give us a job, or a second date, or
>> whatever. Sometimes it's hard to tell if a question is asked out of
>> curiosity or if the questioner has already made up his/her mind.
>> However, I do think we should give folks the benefit of the doubt and
>> at least attempt to educate them the best we can. We don't want
>> well-intentioned folks to feel they have to bottle their questions
>> inside and never learn what they want to learn about blindness. I
also
>> agree that if a question crosses personal boundaries, such as a
>> question about how we handle toilet matters, then it should be
>> addressed more assertively. I have luckily not been asked any
>> questions that I found to be rude or invasive, but I know others have
>> at times.
>> I don't mind answering (appropriate) questions at all, but I am
always
>> stumped when some stranger tells me I am
>> amazing/brave/inspiring/courageous. I can never figure out how to
>> respond in such a way that acknowledges their goodwill but also
>> attempts to educate them about the fact I am not very amazing or
brave
>> just because I can walk somewhere by myself. I could just say "thank
>> you" and move on, but I don't like doing that because I feel like by
>> thanking them I am validating what they think about blind people
being
>> amazing for doing the simplest things. Sometimes I find myself just
>> ignoring the comment because I don't know what to say. Other times I
>> will attempt to briefly explain the relevant techniques that I use,
if
>> time allows and if they seem interested. How do you handle this?
>>
>> Arielle
>>
>> On 5/27/13, Joe <jsoro620 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> Damn, this stupid JAWS thing isn't letting me respond to sender.
LOL
>>> Just
>>>
>>> to
>>> chime in that I thought this was an excellent and well-written
post. I'm
>>> sure you're a superb journalist.--Joe
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of The
weird
>>> writer
>>> Sent: Saturday, May 25, 2013 1:40 AM
>>> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> Subject: [nabs-l] offensive questions
>>>
>>> The restaurant bustles with activity as my date and I sit opposite
each
>>> other, talking about ourselves and what we do. To my immediate
right, a
>>> woman is talking to her mom on her cell phone about the baseball
game
>>> she
>>> missed. Different smells bounce off my nose as men and women pass us
>>> making
>>> their way to their tables. Dishes clatter in the kitchen behind me,
and
>>> my
>>> date’s cologne, masked over with deodorant, sprays my sense of
smell as
>>> I
>>> gaze towards his ebony accented voice. We’re chatting jovially, our
>>> laughter
>>> dicing holes in conversations around us, making people stop, and,
I'm
>>> sure,
>>> stare at this interracial gay couple.
>>>
>>> When the dishes come, we get into the topic of careers. He's a
teacher.
>>> With a mouth full, and hesitation dotting his syllables like rain,
he
>>> asks
>>> me a very important question.
>>>
>>> “If you’re blind, how can you be a journalist?”
>>>
>>> Instantly the talons rise, and my fingers toy with the idea of
creeping
>>> towards his throat. A dozen retorts bang into my head as if it were
a
>>> chamber full of bullets, ready to blast this rude insensitive
sighted
>>> person
>>> away. After a split second however, I suddenly realize that he's
never
>>> seen
>>> adaptive technology, and he's never seen a Braille display, and he's
>>> certainly never seen a victor reader stream or a computer with a
screen
>>> reader before. He's not in my world and he never was. Taking a deep
>>> breath,
>>> I explain how I'm a journalist when I'm blind, all with a huge
smile on
>>> my
>>> face. The reason I choose to answer all his questions, and many
others,
>>> instead of following my gut instinct to be sarcastic is, he may not
be
>>> in
>>>
>>> my
>>> world, but I know he can be if I just teach him.
>>>
>>> Whenever I hang around blind people and we make jokes about speech
>>> synthesizers that sighted people wouldn't understand a sentence is
>>> uttered
>>> without fail. Sooner or later, we get to talking about sighted
people
>>> and
>>> their lack of blindness knowledge. The words fly at me like sharp
>>> bullets
>>> that are not meant for me. They’re angry at the sighted people who
ask
>>> us
>>> how we type on a computer. It's an angry question that's become a
common
>>> one
>>> in the blindness community.
>>>
>>> “They should know better. Why are they so stupid?”
>>>
>>> When that's uttered, I immediately see things through the sighted
point
>>> of
>>> view. The truth is, they won’t be an expert about blindness ways or
>>> technology. They shouldn’t know better because no one knows
everything,
>>> especially about a different way of living. They shouldn’t know
better.
>>> Instead, we have to get angry less, and educate more.
>>>
>>> Education is the key of knowledge that will turn itself, unlocking
the
>>> right
>>> doors if the right direction is given. Among the disabled community
who
>>> tend
>>> to get angry when they're asked to educate, this applies to people
with
>>> HIV
>>> and aids as well.
>>>
>>> I've seen countless instances where someone with HIV or AIDS gets
>>> offended
>>> when a potential partner asks him if he will contract if they
exchange
>>> saliva. The contracted person became offended, and stormed off,
hurt.
>>> Upon
>>> further investigation, I learned that his date didn't even know
what HIV
>>> did. He didn't even know that it didn't have a cure.
>>>
>>> A lot of people say ignorance is bliss, but it's also a divider.
Even
>>> today,
>>> the biggest hurtle that we all have to overcome is inclusion and
>>> acceptance,
>>> even among the gay community, disabled community, and HIV
community. In
>>> today's day and age, just simple curiosity could ruin a good
friendship
>>> or
>>> relationship because of “offensive questions.” That divide grows
because
>>> we
>>> are easily offended at the questions we asked ourselves at one
point.
>>>
>>> When I was learning the bus route for my daily commutes, I wondered
if
>>> it
>>> would even work, me having to travel on the bus for field reporting.
>>> I've asked the same question as my restaurant date. “How am I going
to
>>> be
>>>
>>> a
>>> journalist?” with patience, and persistence, I figured out the
answers
>>> with
>>> trial and error and learning from my own past mistakes. If I would
have
>>> let
>>> my own question offend me then I wouldn't have figured out the
answer.
>>>
>>> I don't have HIV but I had to ask the above question in order to
find
>>> out
>>> that you can't get HIV from a small exchange of saliva. I know now
how
>>> to
>>> better do my job as a blind journalist because I had to find an
answer.
>>> I
>>> couldn't let those two questions go unanswered. If I did, then how
>>> blissful
>>> would I be, ignorant about knowledge that would help someone else
as
>>> well
>>>
>>> as
>>> me in the future.
>>>
>>> I don't think anyone should remain in the dark if I have an answer
to a
>>> question. Answers, with all their simplicity sprinkle awareness
along
>>> with
>>> their validity. Not far behind awareness comes understanding, and
soon,
>>> acceptance. An answer to a seemingly offensive question doesn't just
>>> satisfy
>>> curiosity but it opens up a door to understand. There are a lot of
other
>>> positive things behind that door even if they’re not visible
>>> immediately.
>>> Some effects are immediate, such as inclusion, and others are far
off,
>>> such
>>> as advocacy born from awareness.
>>>
>>> When I look around and see a world that's divided as it is, I don’t
want
>>> to
>>> divide it even more just because someone asks me how I use a
computer.
>>> If
>>> education breeds positive results then people who live in different
>>> conditions should educate others how they do it. it's the only way
to
>>> end
>>> these “offensive questions.”
>>>
>>> The goal of inclusion is to do just that, include. My sighted date
lives
>>> in
>>> an ethnic world I'll never completely understand because I've never
>>> lived
>>> through the discriminatory history but I can ask questions, and
with
>>> each
>>> answer, I'm no longer on the outside anymore. We’re together.
>>> With every answer I give about my adaptive life, we’re coming
together
>>> in
>>>
>>> a
>>> way that offended people won’t be able to do for a very long time.
>>> He understands me now and that's the most valuable education I
could
>>> ever
>>> give.
>>>
>>> If people really want to have us unite to stand for a positive
voice
>>> then
>>>
>>> we
>>> can't widen the distance because we’re offended at questions.
>>> Instead, we should open our world to people and share as much as we
can,
>>> if
>>> asked. If we keep doing that I know that the door will open wide
enough
>>> to
>>> let all of us through to a better world, a world where we all know
each
>>> other, stand for one another, and unite for equality and embrace
the
>>> best
>>> teacher of all, differences. That would make a beautifully educated
>>> world,
>>> one where I’d be happy to say that this positive change was the
result
>>> of
>>> answering offensive questions.
>>>
>>> /*See below for resume, writing links, social media links, and other
>>> writing
>>> archives */
>>>
>>> *Click here to view my resume*
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmy.indeed.com%2Fme%2Fking
ettresume%3Fsubfrom%3Dt>
>>>
>>> *
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdocs.google.com%2Fdocumen
t%2Fpub%3Fid%3D1rASWYM_d-JajxmIKycBzVNgdwhJgUePAw1_IBFchglY>*
>>>
>>> *Click here to see my writing archive
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdocs.google.com%2Fdocumen
t%2Fpub%3Fid%3D1rASWYM_d-JajxmIKycBzVNgdwhJgUePAw1_IBFchglY>*
>>>
>>> *Click here to view my website/
>>> /
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Frobertkingett.com%2F>*
>>>
>>> */
>>> /*
>>>
>>> */writer for Chicago Theater Beat/ *
>>> *Tel: 850 764 2161 *
>>>
>>> Facebook
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Frobert
kingett>
>>> Twitter
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Ftheblindwri
ter>
>>> LinkedIn
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.linkedin.com%2Fin%2Fki
ngettr>
>>> YouTube
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fuser%2Fk
ingettspeaks>
>>> WordPress
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.wordpres
s.com%2F>
>>> Blog RSS
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fdescribereview.wordpress.c
om%2Ffeed%2F>
>>> My latest comedy review: ‘She Kills Monsters’: A Fun Game of Chance
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Famericascomedy.com%2Fshe-k
ills-monsters-a-fun-game-of-chanceshe-kills-monsters-theater-steppenwolf-
theater-company-play-comedy-chicago%2F>
>>> My latest Audio Description review: Audio Description review: How
Long
>>> Will
>>> I Cry? (play)
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdescribereview.wordpress.
com%2F2013%2F03%2F13%2Faudio-description-review-how-long-will-i-cry-play%
2F>
>>> WordPress
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.wordpres
s.com%2F>
>>> My latest post in my blog:Just in case you missed it & other news
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.wordpres
s.com%2F2013%2F05%2F25%2Fjust-in-case-you-missed-it-other-news%2F>
>>>
>>> Read more
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.wordpres
s.com%2F2013%2F05%2F25%2Fjust-in-case-you-missed-it-other-news%2F>|
>>> My blog
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.wordpres
s.com%2F>
>>> Share on Facebook
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fsharer.
php%3Fu%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fblindchicagodream.wordpress.com%252F2013%252
F05%252F25%252Fjust-in-case-you-missed-it-other-news%252F>
>>>  Share on Twitter
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fintent%2Ftw
eet%3Ftext%3DJust%2520in%2520case%2520you%2520missed%2520it%2520%2526%252
0other%2520news%2520%2520%28via%2520%2540wisestamp%29>
>>>
>>>
>>> Get this email app!
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wisestamp.com%2Fapps%2
Fwordpress%3Futm_source%3Dextension%26utm_medium%3Demail%26utm_term%3Dwor
dpress%26utm_campaign%3Dapps>
>>>
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.linkedin.com%2Fin%2Fki
ngettr>
>>> Designed with WiseStamp -
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fr1.wisestamp.com%2Fr%2Flan
ding%3Fu%3D5ddbf9ed0c4ca423%26v%3D3.13.2%26t%3D1369460407891%26promo%3D10
%26dest%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.wisestamp.com%252Femail-install%253Futm_
source%253Dextension%2526utm_medium%253Demail%2526utm_campaign%253Dpromo_
10>Get
>>> yours
>>>
<http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fr1.wisestamp.com%2Fr%2Flan
ding%3Fu%3D5ddbf9ed0c4ca423%26v%3D3.13.2%26t%3D1369460407891%26promo%3D10
%26dest%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.wisestamp.com%252Femail-install%253Futm_
source%253Dextension%2526utm_medium%253Demail%2526utm_campaign%253Dpromo_
10>
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
for
>>> nabs-l:
>>>
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/jsoro620%40gmail.com
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
for
>>> nabs-l:
>>>
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/arielle71%40gmail.com
>>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> nabs-l mailing list
>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> nabs-l:
>>
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/mistydbradley%40gmail.com
>>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> nabs-l:
>
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/arielle71%40gmail.com
>

_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/lissa1531%40gmail.com

_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/kwakmiso%40aol.com

_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/jlester8462%40pccua.edu

_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/jlester8462%40pccua.edu