[nabs-l] Those Amazing Inspiring Blind People

[Danielle Sykora]

Hi all,

This is definitely an interesting discussion. Like the rest of you, I
am often told I am amazing for accomplishing simple tasks. Most people
do not understand that I don't perceive their comments as
complimentary; they are only responding to their low expectations of
my abilities. Unfortunately, education is not always possible or
successful. Consequently, I find it difficult at times to determine
whether a compliment is truely desserved.

I don't believe that we are particularly amazing or resilient.
Certainly, we encounter many challenges; from low expectations on a
daily basis, facing the difficulties of obtain textbooks, etc.
However, we are merely accomplishing what we need to succeed.

Just some thoughts,
Danielle

On 5/29/13, Katie Wang <bunnykatie6 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi all,
>
> This is a very interesting thread! I'm very much in agreement with
> what Julie has said here. While I certainly believe that blind people
> should not be regarded as amazing or inspirational for accomplishing
> ordinary things (e.g., going to college, getting a job, living
> independently), I do think that we need a greater-than-average level
> of resilience to successfully handle many of the challenges we face as
> blind people. Granted, many of these challenges are not directly
> caused by our blindness per se but result from low expectations and
> negative attitudes from the general public, but they are nonetheless
> challenges that call for resourcefulness, creativity, and
> self-advocacy. After all, it is fair to say that sighted people
> generally don't have to worry about finding a way to access their
> college textbooks or taking the initiative to learn alternative
> techniques for completing everyday tasks. While I'm a firm believer of
> the NFB philosophy that, with training and opportunity, blindness can
> be reduced to an inconvenience, I also think that, given the reality
> of our society, many blind  people are not given the appropriate
> training and opportunities by default and do in fact need to overcome
> more obstacles in order to accomplish things in life that might
> otherwise be deemed ordinary. In that sense, the label of "amazing"
> may not be completely off the mark. Admittedly this rationale probably
> works better with major milestones in life such as graduating from
> college with honors than with everyday tasks such as walking around
> independently, but I just want to put the thought out there.
>
> With regard to handling patronizing treatment from the general public,
> I have certainly encountered my fair share of frustrations. While I do
> make a point to educate those with whom I interact on a regular basis
> so that they have an accurate understanding of me as a competent,
> capable blind person, I admit that I often do not do so with
> strangers. I have thanked random people for complimenting me on being
> amazing many times, not because I agree with them but because I do not
> have the time/energy to educate and do not want to appear rude. I
> think it is important to remember that, as unfortunate as it is, many
> sighted people do not recognize certain actions, such as excessive
> helpfulness and compliments, as patronizing, even though they do come
> across as very much so to us. For this reason, I'm of the personal
> opinion that we should educate as much as we are willing and able, but
> on those occasions where we do not feel up to the task (which I know
> we all feel from time to time), erring on the side of polite (albeit
> passive) responding may be more constructive than coming across as
> aggressive and confrontational.
>
> Katie
>
>
> On 5/29/13, Julie McGinnity <kaybaycar at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Hi all,
>>
>> I recently graduated from college.  The public relations people here
>> wanted to write an article about me because I was graduating with
>> honors and with a double major.  I thought, rather naively, that this
>> was the reason.  But no...  As you can imagine, the article was about
>> how amazing I was succeeding in college with honors as a blind person.
>>
>> If that wasn't bad enough, at my graduation ceremony the president was
>> giving a speech about resilience.  In her speech, she mentioned people
>> who had been resilient due to circumstances in their lives that were
>> difficult that they had to overcome.  I was the first person
>> mentioned.  Then she mentioned a guy who did his entire degree online
>> while he was doing tures in Iraq, and finally, she described a girl
>> who came from a poor village in Africa to receive her education.  I
>> felt aweful.  Yes, I received honors and did the rare double major
>> with a music major, but do I deserve to be compared to those people
>> who faced such real hardships?  I don't think so.  Like Arielle, I've
>> lived a priviledged life.  All of my needs and some of my wants were
>> given to me.
>>
>> Then I started to think about it some more.  I thought about resilence
>> as a blind person.  I don't think resilience is exactly what most
>> sighted people would expect.  For them, it's simple; we have to
>> overcome our blindness.  Not being able to see must be terrible, and
>> the fact that we have overcome something that they think
>> insurmountable makes us amazing.  But it's so much more than that.  I
>> think we do, as blind people, have to be resilient.  We face
>> discrimination, deal with people who think we need help, receive
>> questions that insult us, and, let's face it, people stare at us a
>> lot.  Some of these things are less bothersome than others, but it all
>> amounts to the same thing.  Dealing with these things makes us
>> resilient in a way.  I do not think this means that we are amazing,
>> but I do think that it gives us a different outlook on life.  Facing
>> the misconceptions of others causes to be resilient.
>>
>> Just some random thoughts I had...  What an interesting discussion!
>>
>> On 5/27/13, justin <justin.williams2 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> I don't always know how to respond either; it does looks amazing when
>>> someone is operating in an alternative way. Even I will admit that
>>> anytime
>>> someone uses a different set of abilities, or a skill set which is
>>> unfamiliar to me, I consider them a little beyond ordinary in that
>>> particular context, but rarely do I think they are amazing.  While
>>> educating
>>> people and opening their minds is nice; that is something that everyone
>>> in
>>> their own way ought to do, it is degrading for a sighted person to
>>> assume
>>> that all the skills in life I have acquired are "amazing for a blind
>>> man."
>>> At thirty-four, I have been subjected to a variety of "inspiring moments
>>> so
>>> to speak.  Some of them I play along with, and some of them I don't.
>>> After
>>> a while I have learn to sometimes indulge the person to see where it
>>> goes,
>>> and sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I use them as entertainment.  Other
>>> times
>>> I cut it off immediately.   Usually, I thank them, or make a joke.  It
>>> is
>>> good to liven those times up with humor to bring things down to a human
>>> level.  And then there are those times when I say absolutely nothing.
>>> Corinthians 1-14 was it...-----Original Message-----
>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of melissa
>>> Green
>>> Sent: Tuesday, May 28, 2013 7:04 PM
>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Those Amazing Inspiring Blind People
>>>
>>> I remember that when I was in grade school.  the teachers would want to
>>> parade me around in front of the state people coming to observe the
>>> school.
>>> After they left the teacher would harp on how I was just like everyone
>>> else.
>>> I also remember having people applaud because I could walk into the
>>> music
>>> room and sit in my chair.
>>> I also remember being told that I had to be completely independent.
>>> No relying on others.
>>> It took me a while to get out of that thought process.
>>> When I did, my view of myself as a blind person changed as well.
>>> .
>>> I could go on and on about my childhood too.
>>> But I won't.
>>> I feel that recognition is nice, but I don't want a big fus made over me
>>> because of my blindness.
>>> When I was getting ready to go through the graduation ceremony they
>>> wanted
>>> to give my guide dog a diploma and put her on mine, as well as put a cap
>>> and
>>> gown on her.
>>> I said absolutely not!
>>> I would include her in my own way.
>>> That is what I did.
>>> I put my tassel on her collar and that is how I chose to do it.
>>> It was my choice and noone else's.
>>> Sincerely,
>>> Melissa and Pj
>>> "Forever is composed of nows." -Emily Dickinson facebook Melissa R Green
>>> Linkedin www.linkedin.com/in/melissagreen5674
>>> skype: lissa5674
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Arielle Silverman" <arielle71 at gmail.com>
>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Tuesday, May 28, 2013 4:42 PM
>>> Subject: [nabs-l] Those Amazing Inspiring Blind People
>>>
>>>
>>> Hi all,
>>> I think some great points have been made here. When someone tells me I
>>> am amazing or inspiring or courageous or whatever, I don't like it
>>> because it implies a lower standard. There's always part of that
>>> compliment that goes unstated: "You're amazing......For a blind
>>> person". It's really a backhanded insult to other blind people, even
>>> though it may not be intended that way. Also, I don't like being told
>>> that I must have overcome great obstacles or that I must have great
>>> perseverance and passion to get to where I am today, because I don't
>>> think that's true. My blindness hasn't interfered much with my
>>> educational achievements and compared with many others my life has
>>> been over-privileged. When people make these assumptions I feel they
>>> are judging me based on blindness without knowing much else about me,
>>> my upbringing or anything I've done.
>>> I also think that the "amazing" comments are particularly tough on
>>> blind youth who also happen to be high achievers. It's hard to know
>>> how to interpret these comments and when we are truly amazing vs. just
>>> exceeding people's low standards. And sometimes, being an inspiration
>>> is just too much extra pressure when our lives are already filled with
>>> a lot of internal and external demands.
>>> When I was growing up, I got used to these accolades because my
>>> parents had many friends who would marvel at my accomplishments. When
>>> I was young I was often asked to show off my Braille reading for
>>> company and this just completely blew people away. Then as I grew I
>>> was a high achiever in school and won some awards for spelling bees
>>> and things like that. They deserved recognition, but probably not to
>>> the level that I got. One night when I was ten, I wrote down some
>>> musings about how I felt about blindness and dealing with sighted
>>> kids. My mother ran across my writing on the family computer and
>>> through a random string of events, what I wrote got published in our
>>> local paper. Then when I was eleven, a magazine editor read the
>>> newspaper article and was so amazed and inspired that she asked me to
>>> write a column for her magazine. This of course only compounded
>>> people's awe and amazement in what I could do, since not only was I
>>> blind but I was also famous. It took several years, but I eventually
>>> realized that I wasn't an amazing writer. I was a decent writer, but
>>> not particularly outstanding at it, and not good at fiction or poetry
>>> at all. The only reason people were so impressed with my writing was
>>> because I wrote about blindness and that was a topic that intrigued
>>> people. I had to get a lot of painful criticism on my writing before I
>>> eventually realized I wasn't as outstanding as those folks made me out
>>> to be. Around the time I came to that epiphany, I also began to resent
>>> all the accolades. I remember thinking, at the age of fifteen, that
>>> "adults always treat me like I'm five and fifty at the same time. But
>>> I just want to be a normal 15-year-old girl!" I felt like on one hand,
>>> I was being held to an impossibly high standard--expected to be an
>>> amazing writer, an inspiration to all--and on the other hand, held to
>>> an extremely low standard--expected not to be capable of basic
>>> independence. People would praise my writing but then worry about my
>>> ability to walk across a room. I just wanted to blend into the crowd
>>> of teenagers and gossip about boys and clothes (well, mostly just
>>> boys) instead.
>>> Then, at the end of ninth grade, I "accidentally on purpose" failed my
>>> algebra final and earned my first B on my report card. There were some
>>> problems on the final that were hard and I didn't feel like answering
>>> on the last day of school, so I skipped them. I didn't intend to
>>> fail--I think I just got a little overconfident about my ability to
>>> earn straight A's. But I also wonder if on a less conscious level, I
>>> bombed the test so I could prove to myself and others that I was a
>>> human being and I was capable of screwing up--and not always an
>>> inspiration. Just a week before that final exam, I remember my algebra
>>> teacher admitting that he had doubted my ability to pass his class at
>>> the beginning of the year, but that he was totally impressed with my
>>> performance. I remember being angry at him for assuming I wouldn't
>>> succeed in his class just because I was blind. And so perhaps,
>>> ironically, I failed his test to try to show him I wasn't amazing, I
>>> wasn't a superhero, I was just a normal teenager doing the best I
>>> could to succeed in school.
>>> OK, enough rambling about my childhood, but I do think that the
>>> unnecessary recognition we get from the public can be just as damaging
>>> as true discrimination, especially when we are young and trying to
>>> figure out where our true talents are. None of us should be forced
>>> into the position of inspiring others. As first-class citizens, we
>>> have the right to achieve at the level we wish to achieve at, and we
>>> have a right to accurate feedback about how well we're doing at
>>> something. Fortunately, as others have stated, there are sighted folks
>>> with high expectations who are willing to hold us up to rigorous
>>> standards and to give us a true picture of our strengths and
>>> weaknesses.
>>> Best,
>>> Arielle
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>> nabs-l:
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/lissa1531%40gmail.com
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>> nabs-l:
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/justin.williams2%40gmail
>>> .com
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>> nabs-l:
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/kaybaycar%40gmail.com
>>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> Julie McG
>> National Association of Guide dog Users board member,  National
>> Federation of the Blind performing arts division secretary,
>> Missouri Association of Guide dog Users President,
>> and Guiding Eyes for the Blind graduate 2008
>> "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that
>> everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal
>> life."
>> John 3:16
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> nabs-l mailing list
>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> nabs-l:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/bunnykatie6%40gmail.com
>>
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> nabs-l:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/dsykora29%40gmail.com
>