[nabs-l] Those Amazing Inspiring Blind People

[Arielle Silverman]

Hi all,
Julie, your experience at graduation sounds mortifying. He should have
at least asked your permission before he talked about you at the
ceremony. I have been called inspirational by a homeless man, and also
by a man who was receiving kidney dialysis. If I had to choose between
blindness, kidney failure and homelessness I would choose blindness
any day, but I know that it's not up to me to characterize those men's
lives any more than they can characterize mine.

I agree that we have to act resilient in order to deal with the
environmental barriers we face (negative attitudes, inaccessibility
etc.) However, I think of resilience as an action more than a
personality trait. I don't think we have more ability to be resilient
than anyone else does. Human beings are hard-wired to adapt to
whatever situations they are in. As blind people we are simply doing
what we need to do in order to survive and fulfill our goals and
desires.
When I look at my own college experiences, there might have been
challenges I wouldn't have had if sighted. However, these were
eclipsed by all the help and support I received from my parents (who
both have advanced degrees), from the scholarship I was awarded and
the mentors I was assigned as part of that scholarship program, and
from my professors and friends. I honestly do not feel that earning my
double major was difficult. And so I find it insulting when people who
don't know me at all assume it was more difficult for me than for
somebody who is a first-generation college student, or who had to work
full-time while going to school, for example.

Arielle

On 5/29/13, Danielle Sykora <dsykora29 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi all,
>
> This is definitely an interesting discussion. Like the rest of you, I
> am often told I am amazing for accomplishing simple tasks. Most people
> do not understand that I don't perceive their comments as
> complimentary; they are only responding to their low expectations of
> my abilities. Unfortunately, education is not always possible or
> successful. Consequently, I find it difficult at times to determine
> whether a compliment is truely desserved.
>
> I don't believe that we are particularly amazing or resilient.
> Certainly, we encounter many challenges; from low expectations on a
> daily basis, facing the difficulties of obtain textbooks, etc.
> However, we are merely accomplishing what we need to succeed.
>
> Just some thoughts,
> Danielle
>
> On 5/29/13, Katie Wang <bunnykatie6 at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Hi all,
>>
>> This is a very interesting thread! I'm very much in agreement with
>> what Julie has said here. While I certainly believe that blind people
>> should not be regarded as amazing or inspirational for accomplishing
>> ordinary things (e.g., going to college, getting a job, living
>> independently), I do think that we need a greater-than-average level
>> of resilience to successfully handle many of the challenges we face as
>> blind people. Granted, many of these challenges are not directly
>> caused by our blindness per se but result from low expectations and
>> negative attitudes from the general public, but they are nonetheless
>> challenges that call for resourcefulness, creativity, and
>> self-advocacy. After all, it is fair to say that sighted people
>> generally don't have to worry about finding a way to access their
>> college textbooks or taking the initiative to learn alternative
>> techniques for completing everyday tasks. While I'm a firm believer of
>> the NFB philosophy that, with training and opportunity, blindness can
>> be reduced to an inconvenience, I also think that, given the reality
>> of our society, many blind  people are not given the appropriate
>> training and opportunities by default and do in fact need to overcome
>> more obstacles in order to accomplish things in life that might
>> otherwise be deemed ordinary. In that sense, the label of "amazing"
>> may not be completely off the mark. Admittedly this rationale probably
>> works better with major milestones in life such as graduating from
>> college with honors than with everyday tasks such as walking around
>> independently, but I just want to put the thought out there.
>>
>> With regard to handling patronizing treatment from the general public,
>> I have certainly encountered my fair share of frustrations. While I do
>> make a point to educate those with whom I interact on a regular basis
>> so that they have an accurate understanding of me as a competent,
>> capable blind person, I admit that I often do not do so with
>> strangers. I have thanked random people for complimenting me on being
>> amazing many times, not because I agree with them but because I do not
>> have the time/energy to educate and do not want to appear rude. I
>> think it is important to remember that, as unfortunate as it is, many
>> sighted people do not recognize certain actions, such as excessive
>> helpfulness and compliments, as patronizing, even though they do come
>> across as very much so to us. For this reason, I'm of the personal
>> opinion that we should educate as much as we are willing and able, but
>> on those occasions where we do not feel up to the task (which I know
>> we all feel from time to time), erring on the side of polite (albeit
>> passive) responding may be more constructive than coming across as
>> aggressive and confrontational.
>>
>> Katie
>>
>>
>> On 5/29/13, Julie McGinnity <kaybaycar at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> Hi all,
>>>
>>> I recently graduated from college.  The public relations people here
>>> wanted to write an article about me because I was graduating with
>>> honors and with a double major.  I thought, rather naively, that this
>>> was the reason.  But no...  As you can imagine, the article was about
>>> how amazing I was succeeding in college with honors as a blind person.
>>>
>>> If that wasn't bad enough, at my graduation ceremony the president was
>>> giving a speech about resilience.  In her speech, she mentioned people
>>> who had been resilient due to circumstances in their lives that were
>>> difficult that they had to overcome.  I was the first person
>>> mentioned.  Then she mentioned a guy who did his entire degree online
>>> while he was doing tures in Iraq, and finally, she described a girl
>>> who came from a poor village in Africa to receive her education.  I
>>> felt aweful.  Yes, I received honors and did the rare double major
>>> with a music major, but do I deserve to be compared to those people
>>> who faced such real hardships?  I don't think so.  Like Arielle, I've
>>> lived a priviledged life.  All of my needs and some of my wants were
>>> given to me.
>>>
>>> Then I started to think about it some more.  I thought about resilence
>>> as a blind person.  I don't think resilience is exactly what most
>>> sighted people would expect.  For them, it's simple; we have to
>>> overcome our blindness.  Not being able to see must be terrible, and
>>> the fact that we have overcome something that they think
>>> insurmountable makes us amazing.  But it's so much more than that.  I
>>> think we do, as blind people, have to be resilient.  We face
>>> discrimination, deal with people who think we need help, receive
>>> questions that insult us, and, let's face it, people stare at us a
>>> lot.  Some of these things are less bothersome than others, but it all
>>> amounts to the same thing.  Dealing with these things makes us
>>> resilient in a way.  I do not think this means that we are amazing,
>>> but I do think that it gives us a different outlook on life.  Facing
>>> the misconceptions of others causes to be resilient.
>>>
>>> Just some random thoughts I had...  What an interesting discussion!
>>>
>>> On 5/27/13, justin <justin.williams2 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> I don't always know how to respond either; it does looks amazing when
>>>> someone is operating in an alternative way. Even I will admit that
>>>> anytime
>>>> someone uses a different set of abilities, or a skill set which is
>>>> unfamiliar to me, I consider them a little beyond ordinary in that
>>>> particular context, but rarely do I think they are amazing.  While
>>>> educating
>>>> people and opening their minds is nice; that is something that everyone
>>>> in
>>>> their own way ought to do, it is degrading for a sighted person to
>>>> assume
>>>> that all the skills in life I have acquired are "amazing for a blind
>>>> man."
>>>> At thirty-four, I have been subjected to a variety of "inspiring
>>>> moments
>>>> so
>>>> to speak.  Some of them I play along with, and some of them I don't.
>>>> After
>>>> a while I have learn to sometimes indulge the person to see where it
>>>> goes,
>>>> and sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I use them as entertainment.  Other
>>>> times
>>>> I cut it off immediately.   Usually, I thank them, or make a joke.  It
>>>> is
>>>> good to liven those times up with humor to bring things down to a human
>>>> level.  And then there are those times when I say absolutely nothing.
>>>> Corinthians 1-14 was it...-----Original Message-----
>>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of melissa
>>>> Green
>>>> Sent: Tuesday, May 28, 2013 7:04 PM
>>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Those Amazing Inspiring Blind People
>>>>
>>>> I remember that when I was in grade school.  the teachers would want to
>>>> parade me around in front of the state people coming to observe the
>>>> school.
>>>> After they left the teacher would harp on how I was just like everyone
>>>> else.
>>>> I also remember having people applaud because I could walk into the
>>>> music
>>>> room and sit in my chair.
>>>> I also remember being told that I had to be completely independent.
>>>> No relying on others.
>>>> It took me a while to get out of that thought process.
>>>> When I did, my view of myself as a blind person changed as well.
>>>> .
>>>> I could go on and on about my childhood too.
>>>> But I won't.
>>>> I feel that recognition is nice, but I don't want a big fus made over
>>>> me
>>>> because of my blindness.
>>>> When I was getting ready to go through the graduation ceremony they
>>>> wanted
>>>> to give my guide dog a diploma and put her on mine, as well as put a
>>>> cap
>>>> and
>>>> gown on her.
>>>> I said absolutely not!
>>>> I would include her in my own way.
>>>> That is what I did.
>>>> I put my tassel on her collar and that is how I chose to do it.
>>>> It was my choice and noone else's.
>>>> Sincerely,
>>>> Melissa and Pj
>>>> "Forever is composed of nows." -Emily Dickinson facebook Melissa R
>>>> Green
>>>> Linkedin www.linkedin.com/in/melissagreen5674
>>>> skype: lissa5674
>>>>
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: "Arielle Silverman" <arielle71 at gmail.com>
>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Tuesday, May 28, 2013 4:42 PM
>>>> Subject: [nabs-l] Those Amazing Inspiring Blind People
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Hi all,
>>>> I think some great points have been made here. When someone tells me I
>>>> am amazing or inspiring or courageous or whatever, I don't like it
>>>> because it implies a lower standard. There's always part of that
>>>> compliment that goes unstated: "You're amazing......For a blind
>>>> person". It's really a backhanded insult to other blind people, even
>>>> though it may not be intended that way. Also, I don't like being told
>>>> that I must have overcome great obstacles or that I must have great
>>>> perseverance and passion to get to where I am today, because I don't
>>>> think that's true. My blindness hasn't interfered much with my
>>>> educational achievements and compared with many others my life has
>>>> been over-privileged. When people make these assumptions I feel they
>>>> are judging me based on blindness without knowing much else about me,
>>>> my upbringing or anything I've done.
>>>> I also think that the "amazing" comments are particularly tough on
>>>> blind youth who also happen to be high achievers. It's hard to know
>>>> how to interpret these comments and when we are truly amazing vs. just
>>>> exceeding people's low standards. And sometimes, being an inspiration
>>>> is just too much extra pressure when our lives are already filled with
>>>> a lot of internal and external demands.
>>>> When I was growing up, I got used to these accolades because my
>>>> parents had many friends who would marvel at my accomplishments. When
>>>> I was young I was often asked to show off my Braille reading for
>>>> company and this just completely blew people away. Then as I grew I
>>>> was a high achiever in school and won some awards for spelling bees
>>>> and things like that. They deserved recognition, but probably not to
>>>> the level that I got. One night when I was ten, I wrote down some
>>>> musings about how I felt about blindness and dealing with sighted
>>>> kids. My mother ran across my writing on the family computer and
>>>> through a random string of events, what I wrote got published in our
>>>> local paper. Then when I was eleven, a magazine editor read the
>>>> newspaper article and was so amazed and inspired that she asked me to
>>>> write a column for her magazine. This of course only compounded
>>>> people's awe and amazement in what I could do, since not only was I
>>>> blind but I was also famous. It took several years, but I eventually
>>>> realized that I wasn't an amazing writer. I was a decent writer, but
>>>> not particularly outstanding at it, and not good at fiction or poetry
>>>> at all. The only reason people were so impressed with my writing was
>>>> because I wrote about blindness and that was a topic that intrigued
>>>> people. I had to get a lot of painful criticism on my writing before I
>>>> eventually realized I wasn't as outstanding as those folks made me out
>>>> to be. Around the time I came to that epiphany, I also began to resent
>>>> all the accolades. I remember thinking, at the age of fifteen, that
>>>> "adults always treat me like I'm five and fifty at the same time. But
>>>> I just want to be a normal 15-year-old girl!" I felt like on one hand,
>>>> I was being held to an impossibly high standard--expected to be an
>>>> amazing writer, an inspiration to all--and on the other hand, held to
>>>> an extremely low standard--expected not to be capable of basic
>>>> independence. People would praise my writing but then worry about my
>>>> ability to walk across a room. I just wanted to blend into the crowd
>>>> of teenagers and gossip about boys and clothes (well, mostly just
>>>> boys) instead.
>>>> Then, at the end of ninth grade, I "accidentally on purpose" failed my
>>>> algebra final and earned my first B on my report card. There were some
>>>> problems on the final that were hard and I didn't feel like answering
>>>> on the last day of school, so I skipped them. I didn't intend to
>>>> fail--I think I just got a little overconfident about my ability to
>>>> earn straight A's. But I also wonder if on a less conscious level, I
>>>> bombed the test so I could prove to myself and others that I was a
>>>> human being and I was capable of screwing up--and not always an
>>>> inspiration. Just a week before that final exam, I remember my algebra
>>>> teacher admitting that he had doubted my ability to pass his class at
>>>> the beginning of the year, but that he was totally impressed with my
>>>> performance. I remember being angry at him for assuming I wouldn't
>>>> succeed in his class just because I was blind. And so perhaps,
>>>> ironically, I failed his test to try to show him I wasn't amazing, I
>>>> wasn't a superhero, I was just a normal teenager doing the best I
>>>> could to succeed in school.
>>>> OK, enough rambling about my childhood, but I do think that the
>>>> unnecessary recognition we get from the public can be just as damaging
>>>> as true discrimination, especially when we are young and trying to
>>>> figure out where our true talents are. None of us should be forced
>>>> into the position of inspiring others. As first-class citizens, we
>>>> have the right to achieve at the level we wish to achieve at, and we
>>>> have a right to accurate feedback about how well we're doing at
>>>> something. Fortunately, as others have stated, there are sighted folks
>>>> with high expectations who are willing to hold us up to rigorous
>>>> standards and to give us a true picture of our strengths and
>>>> weaknesses.
>>>> Best,
>>>> Arielle
>>>>
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>>>
>>>
>>> --
>>> Julie McG
>>> National Association of Guide dog Users board member,  National
>>> Federation of the Blind performing arts division secretary,
>>> Missouri Association of Guide dog Users President,
>>> and Guiding Eyes for the Blind graduate 2008
>>> "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that
>>> everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal
>>> life."
>>> John 3:16
>>>
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>>
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