[nabs-l] offensive questions

Thu May 30 06:06:37 UTC 2013

I would have left too.
that is just horrible.

Sincerely,
Melissa and Pj
"Forever is composed of nows." -Emily Dickinson
facebook Melissa R Green
Linkedin www.linkedin.com/in/melissagreen5674
skype: lissa5674

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Misty Dawn Bradley" <mistydbradley at gmail.com>
To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list" 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, May 27, 2013 7:07 PM
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] offensive questions

Desiree,
I agree with you. I can understand if the questions are not obvious, such as
how a blind person uses a computer or even how we travel, but I get crazy
questions like you have mentioned. The ones I get a lot are:
"How do you cook?"
"How do you clean?"
"Who helps you around the house? You don't have ANYONE helping you?"
Also, I notice that if I answer the questions with what I actually do and
that I don't have help, that person acts surprised and acts like it is such
a travesty that I live alone with my young daughter and have no help or
anyone doing everything for me, even so I have been on my own for about 7
years now. When I explain that I do cook on my own, the person responds very
surprised and tells me, "Be careful, be careful when you cook!" I had this
experience just yesterday, and I found that my explanations got me nowhere
and just made them even more surprised and afraid I guess, and it made me
feel very frustrated, as if I was an invalid who needed constant,
around-the-clock care or something. I was actually out yesterday, and after
all of the questions this person asked me, the person proceeded to not allow
me to do anything for myself while there, even so I frequent that particular
place at least once weekly and know how to get around it using my cane. This
person followed me absolutely everywhere and kept grabbing onto me and
giving me unnecessary directions, even though I explained to her that I knew
the area and didn't need help, and the way she spoke to me was as if I were
a small child. I ended up leaving to go home early before everyone else
because I got fed up with the way I was being treated. I couldn't even stand
up out of my seat without being asked, "Where are you going?" and being told
to sit back down and that they would do whatever it was that I was trying to
do for me.
Anyway, I hope I didn't digress from the topic at hand, but this just goes
to show that some people don't want to be educated about what blind people
can do and seem to want to contain the blind person into a box. I do find
that there are some that are genuinely curious and really want to be
educated, but some, like the person I mentioned above, don't pay attention
to explanations of how you do things as a blind person or even think that
you can do things for yourself. I find this especially when dealing with
people, like this person above, from countries and cultures where blind
people are viewed as less or that they are not able to do anything for
themselves without someone doing everything for them.
Misty

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Desiree Oudinot" <turtlepower17 at gmail.com>
To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, May 27, 2013 7:48 PM
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] offensive questions

> Hi,
> I agree with what has been said here so far. Sighted people often
> don't know how they would do something if they were blind. to them,
> sight is 95% of their existance. I don't get offended by questions
> such as how I use a computer, or how I travel independently. Those
> kind of questions make sense, once you put yourself in their shoes.
> For the average, nondisabled person, any kind of disability is
> paralyzingly frightening. It's better to ease their minds, which will,
> hopefully, help them to understand what's possible for a blind person
> to accomplish. If you remove the fear from a situation, it allows for
> more clear thinking. what I have little tolerance for are the truly
> ignorant questions, like how do you eat when  You can't see? Or how do
> you go to the bathroom? Now, come on. the average sighted person knows
> that they're not watching their mouths while they eat, or watching
> behind them after they take care of their business. Those kind of
> questions are idiotic, and should be dealt with accordingly. Besides,
> I don't think a sighted person would dare ask just any random stranger
> those questions, regardless of what they felt the person's abilities
> and limits were. How is it all right for people to cross those
> boundaries just because a person is blind? I feel violated when a
> perfect stranger asks me questions like that out of the blue.
>
> On 5/27/13, Miso Kwak <kwakmiso at aol.com> wrote:
>> I get similar questions like "If you are blind how do you march in a
>> marching band?" "How do you use Facebook?"
>> I have never thought of them as offensive thought because I would be
>> asking the same thing if I were in the shoes of those who ask me such
>> questions.
>> I think it's important that we have an open mind and be equipped to
>> explain and share.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Anna Givens <annajee82 at gmail.com>
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Mon, May 27, 2013 2:45 pm
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] offensive questions
>>
>> I totally agree!  And as a formerly "sighted" person I will say that
>> people are afraid to ask questions, because they are afraid to offend.
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>> On May 25, 2013, at 1:40 AM, The weird writer
>> <weirdwriter9891 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>> The restaurant bustles with activity as my date and I sit opposite
>> each other, talking about ourselves and what we do. To my immediate
>> right, a woman is talking to her mom on her cell phone about the
>> baseball game she missed. Different smells bounce off my nose as men
>> and women pass us making their way to their tables. Dishes clatter in
>> the kitchen behind me, and my date’s cologne, masked over with
>> deodorant, sprays my sense of smell as I gaze towards his ebony
>> accented voice. We’re chatting jovially, our laughter dicing holes in
>> conversations around us, making people stop, and, I'm sure, stare at
>> this interracial gay couple.
>>>
>>> When the dishes come, we get into the topic of careers. He's a
>> teacher. With a mouth full, and hesitation dotting his syllables like
>> rain, he asks me a very important question.
>>>
>>> “If you’re blind, how can you be a journalist?”
>>>
>>> Instantly the talons rise, and my fingers toy with the idea of
>> creeping towards his throat. A dozen retorts bang into my head as if it
>> were a chamber full of bullets, ready to blast this rude insensitive
>> sighted person away. After a split second however, I suddenly realize
>> that he's never seen adaptive technology, and he's never seen a Braille
>> display, and he's certainly never seen a victor reader stream or a
>> computer with a screen reader before. He's not in my world and he never
>> was. Taking a deep breath, I explain how I'm a journalist when I'm
>> blind, all with a huge smile on my face. The reason I choose to answer
>> all his questions, and many others, instead of following my gut
>> instinct to be sarcastic is, he may not be in my world, but I know he
>> can be if I just teach him.
>>>
>>> Whenever I hang around blind people and we make jokes about speech
>> synthesizers that sighted people wouldn't understand a sentence is
>> uttered without fail. Sooner or later, we get to talking about sighted
>> people and their lack of blindness knowledge. The words fly at me like
>> sharp bullets that are not meant for me. They’re angry at the sighted
>> people who ask us how we type on a computer. It's an angry question
>> that's become a common one in the blindness community.
>>>
>>> “They should know better. Why are they so stupid?”
>>>
>>> When that's uttered, I immediately see things through the sighted
>> point of view. The truth is, they won’t be an expert about blindness
>> ways or technology. They shouldn’t know better because no one knows
>> everything, especially about a different way of living. They shouldn’t
>> know better. Instead, we have to get angry less, and educate more.
>>>
>>> Education is the key of knowledge that will turn itself, unlocking
>> the right doors if the right direction is given. Among the disabled
>> community who tend to get angry when they're asked to educate, this
>> applies to people with HIV and aids as well.
>>>
>>> I've seen countless instances where someone with HIV or AIDS gets
>> offended when a potential partner asks him if he will contract if they
>> exchange saliva. The contracted person became offended, and stormed
>> off, hurt. Upon further investigation, I learned that his date didn't
>> even know what HIV did. He didn't even know that it didn't have a cure.
>>>
>>> A lot of people say ignorance is bliss, but it's also a divider. Even
>> today, the biggest hurtle that we all have to overcome is inclusion and
>> acceptance, even among the gay community, disabled community, and HIV
>> community. In today's day and age, just simple curiosity could ruin a
>> good friendship or relationship because of “offensive questions.” That
>> divide grows because we are easily offended at the questions we asked
>> ourselves at one point.
>>>
>>> When I was learning the bus route for my daily commutes, I wondered
>> if it would even work, me having to travel on the bus for field
>> reporting. I've asked the same question as my restaurant date. “How am
>> I going to be a journalist?” with patience, and persistence, I figured
>> out the answers with trial and error and learning from my own past
>> mistakes. If I would have let my own question offend me then I wouldn't
>> have figured out the answer.
>>>
>>> I don't have HIV but I had to ask the above question in order to find
>> out that you can't get HIV from a small exchange of saliva. I know now
>> how to better do my job as a blind journalist because I had to find an
>> answer. I couldn't let those two questions go unanswered. If I did,
>> then how blissful would I be, ignorant about knowledge that would help
>> someone else as well as me in the future.
>>>
>>> I don't think anyone should remain in the dark if I have an answer to
>> a question. Answers, with all their simplicity sprinkle awareness along
>> with their validity. Not far behind awareness comes understanding, and
>> soon, acceptance. An answer to a seemingly offensive question doesn't
>> just satisfy curiosity but it opens up a door to understand. There are
>> a lot of other positive things behind that door even if they’re not
>> visible immediately. Some effects are immediate, such as inclusion, and
>> others are far off, such as advocacy born from awareness.
>>>
>>> When I look around and see a world that's divided as it is, I don’t
>> want to divide it even more just because someone asks me how I use a
>> computer. If education breeds positive results then people who live in
>> different conditions should educate others how they do it. it's the
>> only way to end these “offensive questions.”
>>>
>>> The goal of inclusion is to do just that, include. My sighted date
>> lives in an ethnic world I'll never completely understand because I've
>> never lived through the discriminatory history but I can ask questions,
>> and with each answer, I'm no longer on the outside anymore. We’re
>> together. With every answer I give about my adaptive life, we’re coming
>> together in a way that offended people won’t be able to do for a very
>> long time. He understands me now and that's the most valuable education
>> I could ever give.
>>>
>>> If people really want to have us unite to stand for a positive voice
>> then we can't widen the distance because we’re offended at questions.
>> Instead, we should open our world to people and share as much as we
>> can, if asked. If we keep doing that I know that the door will open
>> wide enough to let all of us through to a better world, a world where
>> we all know each other, stand for one another, and unite for equality
>> and embrace the best teacher of all, differences. That would make a
>> beautifully educated world, one where I’d be happy to say that this
>> positive change was the result of answering offensive questions.
>>>
>>> /*See below for resume, writing links, social media links, and other
>> writing archives
>>> */
>>>
>>> *Click here to view my resume*
>>>
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmy.indeed.com%2Fme%2Fking
>> ettresume%3Fsubfrom%3Dt>
>>>
>>> *
>>>
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdocs.google.com%2Fdocumen
>> t%2Fpub%3Fid%3D1rASWYM_d-JajxmIKycBzVNgdwhJgUePAw1_IBFchglY>*
>>>
>>> *Click here to see my writing archive
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdocs.google.com%2Fdocumen
>> t%2Fpub%3Fid%3D1rASWYM_d-JajxmIKycBzVNgdwhJgUePAw1_IBFchglY>*
>>>
>>> *Click here to view my website/
>>> /
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Frobertkingett.com%2F>*
>>>
>>> */
>>> /*
>>>
>>> */writer for Chicago Theater Beat/ *
>>> *Tel: 850 764 2161 *
>>>
>>> Facebook
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Frobert
>> kingett> Twitter
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Ftheblindwri
>> ter> LinkedIn
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.linkedin.com%2Fin%2Fki
>> ngettr> YouTube
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fuser%2Fk
>> ingettspeaks> WordPress
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.wordpres
>> s.com%2F> Blog RSS
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fdescribereview.wordpress.c
>> om%2Ffeed%2F>
>>> My latest comedy review: ‘She Kills Monsters’: A Fun Game of Chance
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Famericascomedy.com%2Fshe-k
>> ills-monsters-a-fun-game-of-chanceshe-kills-monsters-theater-steppenwolf-
>> theater-company-play-comedy-chicago%2F>
>>> My latest Audio Description review: Audio Description review: How
>> Long Will I Cry? (play)
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdescribereview.wordpress.
>> com%2F2013%2F03%2F13%2Faudio-description-review-how-long-will-i-cry-play%
>> 2F>
>>> WordPress
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.wordpres
>> s.com%2F>    My latest post in my blog:Just in case you missed it &
>> other news
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.wordpres
>> s.com%2F2013%2F05%2F25%2Fjust-in-case-you-missed-it-other-news%2F>
>>> Read more
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.wordpres
>> s.com%2F2013%2F05%2F25%2Fjust-in-case-you-missed-it-other-news%2F>| My
>> blog
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.wordpres
>> s.com%2F>
>>>    Share on Facebook
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fsharer.
>> php%3Fu%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fblindchicagodream.wordpress.com%252F2013%252
>> F05%252F25%252Fjust-in-case-you-missed-it-other-news%252F>  Share on
>> Twitter
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fintent%2Ftw
>> eet%3Ftext%3DJust%2520in%2520case%2520you%2520missed%2520it%2520%2526%252
>> 0other%2520news%2520%2520%28via%2520%2540wisestamp%29>
>>>
>>> Get this email app!
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wisestamp.com%2Fapps%2
>> Fwordpress%3Futm_source%3Dextension%26utm_medium%3Demail%26utm_term%3Dwor
>> dpress%26utm_campaign%3Dapps>
>>>
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.linkedin.com%2Fin%2Fki
>> ngettr>
>>> Designed with WiseStamp -
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fr1.wisestamp.com%2Fr%2Flan
>> ding%3Fu%3D5ddbf9ed0c4ca423%26v%3D3.13.2%26t%3D1369460407891%26promo%3D10
>> %26dest%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.wisestamp.com%252Femail-install%253Futm_
>> source%253Dextension%2526utm_medium%253Demail%2526utm_campaign%253Dpromo_
>> 10>Get yours
>> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fr1.wisestamp.com%2Fr%2Flan
>> ding%3Fu%3D5ddbf9ed0c4ca423%26v%3D3.13.2%26t%3D1369460407891%26promo%3D10
>> %26dest%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.wisestamp.com%252Femail-install%253Futm_
>> source%253Dextension%2526utm_medium%253Demail%2526utm_campaign%253Dpromo_
>> 10>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> nabs-l:
>>>
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/annajee82%40gmail.com
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> nabs-l mailing list
>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> nabs-l:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/kwakmiso%40aol.com
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> nabs-l mailing list
>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> nabs-l:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/turtlepower17%40gmail.com
>>
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> nabs-l:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/mistydbradley%40gmail.com
>

_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/lissa1531%40gmail.com