[nabs-l] Families misunderstanding real world

Thu Nov 21 18:48:12 UTC 2013

Good morning, Beth, and other threadmates,

         Just remember that, sighted peoples' perceptions and values 
just aren't like ours. It's nothing, in my view, about politics or 
social rights or lack there of. It can be interpreted through the 
experience of blonds vs. brunettes. How can such populations be 
thought of as identical if they are in fact, separate animals? It's 
the same as blind vs. sighted. As much as some of us strive for 
political/social equality, there will always remain a fundamental 
difference in how we "regard our worlds and what is meaningful to us. 
For example, in while dressing each morning, I draw upon my own ideas 
of what I enjoy perceiving in someone else, and devote  particular 
attention to  tending those aspects of my personal appearance   which 
I find to be meaningful, when I am perceiving someone else. So, what 
do I notice? Which aspects stand out? Do they smell good, do I enjoy 
touching the fabric they are wearing?
Same with mates. Most sighted women would be closed to a blind 
boyfriend, just as I used to be until, low and behold, I hooked up 
with another total!
for today, Car
408-209-3239:
>You're so weird. *grin*  I say that to all those who get the point 
>right.  I recently got a firestorm of bad comments and a false 
>statement made to me on Facebook regarding my capabilities to date 
>due to mental health issues.  An old VI teacher even said I had to 
>have legal action taken to ensure that I don't chase after 
>boys.  WEll, that was high school, this is post college.  I'm not in 
>college and could not finish my degree because of all this drama 
>surrounding my life, and this is just what my family wants me to do, 
>give up, resign, etc.  Blake is a really great guy and I don't 
>deserve this unsupportive comment right now.
>Beth
>On 11/21/2013 9:53 AM, Bridgit Pollpeter wrote:
>>Beth,
>>
>>Unfortunately, this will just happen sometimes in life, whether it be
>>family, friends or strangers. At the end of the day, you just need to
>>move forward and not even deal with people like this. It's difficult
>>with family, but I wouldn't engage them unless at a family gathering. If
>>they seek you out, ignore it. You living your life will prove more than
>>any words.
>>
>>I'm a formally sighted person, but when I lost my sight, I didn't really
>>think one way over another about dating a blind person or sighted
>>person. Some people in my life assumed I would need a sighted person to
>>care for me, but I didn't really accept that concept. Plus, I don't like
>>being told what I can and can not do, grin.
>>
>>My husband is also blind, but it has nothing to do with sight or
>>blindness. We met, and it was just the right person. He could have been
>>a Martian for all it mattered, because eight years later, I know it was
>>the right decision, right person.
>>
>>I wasn't even looking for a relationship at the time; it just happened.
>>Though I have my list, disability wasn't on it, or at least was on the
>>bottom. I saw him for him, and he saw me for me. We were not looking at
>>a single aspect of one another or what the other could do for us. And
>>let me tell you, love at first sight is possible when blind, smile.
>>
>>Don't think in terms of sighted or blind, disabled or not. Don't assume
>>no one wants to date you because you're blind. Be confident, try things
>>like initiating conversation, and just be your self. If a guy doesn't
>>want to be involved, that's his loss.
>>
>>Plus, let me guess, you're in your 20's right? There's plenty of time to
>>settle down. There's nothing wrong with being single, and if you feel
>>you're ready for a relationship, put yourself out there, but stop
>>thinking blindness is a strike against you. This negative aura will be
>>picked up by others.
>>
>>As for children, I have a very
>>Active 15 month-old, and I'm a stay-at-home parent right now. Not only
>>am I able to competently and safely raise a child, but I've been
>>recognized in my community for doing so. Though I'm doing nothing
>>spectacular, the local media has put a spotlight on me and my family
>>since Ross and I are blind parents. We've had an amazing opportunity to
>>demonstrate how it's possible to be a blind parent. And honestly, I do
>>little differently than a sighted parent. Raising kids isn't easy, but
>>it really shouldn't be more difficult for blind people than anyone else.
>>
>>So, present your argument diplomatically and intelligently, but really,
>>that's all you can do. It's up to others to accept what you present, and
>>if they're close-minded, that's not your problem. Know you are just as
>>capable of dating, being independent, raising children and anything else
>>as a sighted person.
>>
>>Which BTW, my Little Guy is squeezing himself into a very tight spot
>>trying to reach some cords. Better run, grin!
>>
>>Bridgit
>>
>>
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>
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