[nabs-l] Blindness and body contact

Wed Oct 15 17:04:33 UTC 2014

Hi All,

I have never experienced this sort of thing, and I observe that 
most of those who have responded that they have are female, so I 
wonder if this is something that sighted people do to blind women 
specifically not blind people in general.  I, like all of us, 
have experienced the grabby sighted person trying to help me get 
around, but I've never had people touch me apart from the typical 
hug hello and goodby with close friends and family and sometimes 
the arm tap.  The only other times people have touched me are 
when the occasional teacher or friend has tried to explain the 
shape of something by drawing on my hand or the like.

Best,
Karl

 ----- Original Message -----
From: Katie Wang via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
To: Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net>, National Association 
of Blind Students mailing list <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Wed, 15 Oct 2014 12:29:33 -0400
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Blindness and body contact

Hi Arielle and all,

I have definitely had similar experiences with strangers and
acquaintances, and I too find such uninvited physical contact to 
be
quite uncomfortable. I would usually try to shift my body or take 
a
few steps away from the person - This usually gets the message 
across,
though I often find it somewhat awkward especially if the person 
in
question is  a family friend or distant relative (as it was in 
your
case). While I obviously can't speak to the motivation behind 
this
type of behaviors, I would venture to guess that this has 
something to
do with sighted people's tendency to treat blind people like 
children.
Given that people generally find it acceptable to ruffle a little
kid's hair or give him/her a hug, It seems that some sighted 
people
feel it's OK to do the same with those who are blind. It is also
possible that some sighted people are unsure about how to 
communicate
with us - Given that we can't see their facial expressions, they 
might
assume that the only way to let us know they are happy to see 
us/like
something we did is to use physical contact. Just my thoughts!

Katie

On 10/15/14, Carly Mihalakis via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> 
wrote:
 Good morning, Arielle,
 -American studies class at the local junior college, the 
instructor
 much to my appreciation would engage my body in much a same way 
as
 you described while talking to me, AI must say it made me feel 
like
 teach was particularly engaged with me as well as the subject 
matter
 at hand. So, I dug it, would look forward to our chats.
 I'm talking also, totally non-sexual and  non-erotic, just 
laying a
 hand on my shoulder, arm or hand. I really appreciated it!
 Have a good day, Arielle!
 for today, CCar

          As a matter of fact, one semester, I was taking an 
Afrikan
 At 09:51 PM 10/14/2014, Arielle Silverman via nabs-l wrote:
Hi all,
So the feeling faces thread reminded me of something and I'm 
curious
what your experiences are with this kind of thing. My sister got
married last weekend and I gave a toast at her rehearsal dinner 
and a
short reading during the ceremony. At the cocktail reception a 
woman
approached me and introduced herself as the aunt of my sister's 
new
husband. She then went on for a while about how beautiful my 
speeches
were. The entire time she had her arm kind of around the side of 
my
back and was stroking my shoulder. It made me a bit uncomfortable
because we had just met and I am not a very touchy-feely person 
except
with very close family and friends. This is also not the 
firsttime
people I don't know, or barely know, have interacted with me in 
this
way. I have always wondered if the touching is somehow because of 
my
blindness and if so, why do people feel driven to be so 
physically
affectionate with me? Or, is this a typical way people interact, 
and
being blind my whole life, I just haven't noticed how other 
people
physically interact during conversation? If you guys have 
experienced
this sort of thing, how do you usually respond? I'm not talking 
about
being grabbed by over-helpful people; I'm talking about people 
making
physical (nonsexual) contact during a conversation. And not just 
the
occasional shoulder tap, but something more hug-like.
Best,
Arielle

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