[nabs-l] Dealing with Unreasonable Parents

[Rahul Bajaj]

Thanks, Shikha.
Coincidentally, I am Indian too, as you may have surmised from my
name. I am wondering if our culture, in which parents tend to be
over-protective, has a role to play here.
I agree with your advice though.

Best,
Rahul



On 04/08/2017, Shikha via NABS-L <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> I have gone through this and will continue to live with an indian family who
> do not believe in me. I became blind at 17. I try my best to be positive,
> and get help from friends and counselors at school. I don't listen to my
> parents if i am going to be safe like at nfb events. Just make sure you are
> safe, and continue living your life. Do not please your parents because they
> will never be able to make anyone happy. Focus on making your self happy. I
> hated living with my parents when i was taking classes at community school.
> I hated it. I talked with my vr counselor and transferred to Georgia state
> and i love living on campuss. I am now currently trying to move to Marylamd
> to get my master. I do not care if my parents don't approve. It is not easy
> but you should live your life happily.
> Thanks,
>
>
> Shikha.
>
>> On Aug 4, 2017, at 3:44 AM, Rahul Bajaj via NABS-L <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>> wrote:
>>
>> Hi Everyone,
>>
>> I hope this message finds you well.
>> At the outset, let me clarify that this question may or may not have
>> anything to do with my own personal experiences, so I'd appreciate it
>> if the aim of the conversation could be to understand this phenomenon
>> in general terms as opposed to focusing too much on my own situation.
>>
>> While a lot of us focus on the importance of sensitizing various
>> stakeholders, such as employers, academic institutions and others
>> about the capabilities of the disabled, few focus on the
>> discrimination that the disabled face in their own homes due to the
>> view that their own family has about their capabilities or potential.
>> More specifically, if one has a parent who is unwilling to learn from
>> the experiences of other blind people and give their disabled child
>> the freedom that we all deserve, to what extent should one follow what
>> such a parent says?
>> Further, while safety is doubtless important, if the disabled person
>> has the requisite maturity to ascertain if they will be safe in a
>> given environment, should they act as per their own assessment or
>> follow what their parent is saying, in the fear of alienating them?
>> I think there are many emotional forces at play in a family setting
>> that may not be involved in other settings. For instance, one often
>> hears of parents emotionally blackmailing their children into acting
>> the way they want without recognizing that this may not be in the
>> child's best interest.
>> Finally, what makes the situation worse is the fact that the external
>> world [friends and wellwishers] is also often apprehensive to
>> interfere in these matters on behalf of the disabled person on the
>> ground that this is an internal family matter, so that makes it
>> significantly harder for the disabled person to fully assert
>> himself/herself.
>>
>> If any of you have dealt with the above, I'd be curious to know what
>> you think about these issues.
>> I am mindful of the fact that not many people would be open to
>> discussing this on a public forum, so please feel free to mail me
>> off-list about this. Further, not many may see this as a problem,
>> given how  accustomed they are to succumbing to their parents' wishes,
>> no matter how uninformed and inappropriate those wishes may be.
>>
>> Best,
>> Rahul
>>
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