[nagdu] rejected by the lions club?
Tamara Smith-Kinney
tamara.8024 at comcast.net
Wed May 5 16:44:29 UTC 2010
Julie,
I forgot about the struggle with perfectionism! I am so guilty. Keeping
myself from transferring that onto my pup and just ruining her poor
developing mind and soul took a lot of stern self talk. And sometimes just
walking away to beat myself over the head for awhile instead of taking the
dog out for training! I've always known I can do that to myself over much
and will occasionally have to step back and put the brakes on a bit so that
I can actually accomplish my goals well instead of letting the old gung-ho
get in the way and drive me to exhaustion, which is not a very efficient
state to be in. If I were perfect, I wouldn't do that...
If I want to head trip myself that way -- and I will, because that's how I
am -- that's one thing! It is *NOT* okay to do that to a dog who depends on
me for validation and emotional support as much as for good teaching and
communication.
I still slip up there, too. Did just yesterday. The Amazing Mitzi Poodle
got hauled out of bed and stuffed into her harness to fly out the door for
the Lift because somebody else overslept and had to do the last minute
scramble to catch the ride to the doctor's appointment. So for her, it was
all hurry up and wait, which she really hates. She likes to hurry up and go
and doesn't see why I can't run to keep up while we dance around all those
fun obstacles she can use to show me how clever she is! Boredom is soo not
her thing! /grin/
So, anyway, we get to the building, where she's only been once, six months
ago, and she shows me and the driver to the elevator, then she takes me off
the elevator and, while I'm still trying to remember where I am and which to
go, just pulls left, then pulls left and hey presto! There we are! She
takes me to the desk, stopping to chat with a nun while we wait, then takes
me back to the same seat we used last time. Charms everybody while she's
doing it, to just by the fond chuckles and oohs and ahs. Meanwhile, I'm
still hoping I'll wake up eventurally and figure out where I am and how to
get about. /lol/
So we wait.... And wait.... Apparently, there was a bit of delay getting
the file to the nurse, so we got to practice waiting for a bit longer than I
realized. Then it was up, go with the nurse, stop at the weight scale...
She did seem a bit confused as to which of us was to be weighed, snoffing
the scale lightly to be sure before the nurse and I got our communication
figured out. I was nearly awake by then and suddenly remembered where stuff
was!
So then we went into the room to wait, and I put Mitzi under my chair and
got my BP taken and all of that, then I put her on downstay and a light tie
down and hopped up on the table.....
And spent the rest of the time fretting because her downstay is still not
quite what I want it to be. She didn't get into trouble of put her nose
where it didn't belong or interfere with the doctor. She just stood up and
watched. The doctor likes her and was happy to do some greeting once I said
that was okay, but it was my choice and the doctor's, so Mitzi was doing as
she should.
Except for lying down perfectly. Oh, no! What a terrible dog! I'm a
failure as a trainer! I need to give it all up, because I suck! She will
*never* be a guide dog if....
Well, as we finished the exam and went our way through the building for some
other stuff, Mitzi kept on being generally efficient and amazing, and I had
to keep pull my head out of my, er, whatever because I was still fretting
that she broke her downstay. Which she picked up on, obviously, no matter
how hard I tried to act like a proper positive handler. Sigh.
Do you all see what she has to live with now? /grin/
Tami Smith-Kinney
-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Julie J
Sent: Tuesday, May 04, 2010 1:02 PM
To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
Subject: Re: [nagdu] rejected by the lions club?
I suppose individual owner trainers will have different experiences in the
realm of self discovery, but here you go.
There is no one to defer to or come to help you. It is all you all the
time. I learned to be more self reliant than I thought I could.
When you trust your dog, you are really trusting yourself. Learning to have
110% confidence in your ability to be a capable trainer is tough, but
extremely rewarding. I remember chanting, "trust your dog, trust your dog."
while I allowed Monty to truly guide for the first time. It's like you know
in your head that the dog knows what to do, but you haven't absorbed it in
your soul yet. that is a tough place to be and it stretches you a lot.
There will be days that you will lose all hope. You'll think you are making
amazing progress and then you'll look at what's left to do. Or your dog
will be doing great work and then do something stupid that will shake your
confidence. Learning to pick yourself up, dust off and keep on keeping on
takes courage I never knew I had.
Dealing with all the negativity is also pretty wearing. It gets old
defending your right to choose to owner train. I have learned patience.
Some at least, still have a ways to go yet.
On the flip side of the negativity is the "superblind" stereotype, *cape not
included* that I also get. I am asked to train other people's dogs
frequently. When I tell people that dog training isn't magical, its just
hard work and consistency...well, the responses usually indicate the person
thinks I'm lying.
Probably the most difficult thing for me that I am still working on, is my
serious issue with perfectionism. I put an incredible amount of pressure on
myself to have a perfect dog, be a perfect handler, never make a mistake,
never look stupid and on and on. Learning to ease up on myself has been
very hard. I don't know if I could have learned about my tendency for
perfection in the same way through other means.
----- JMHO
Julie
From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
To: "NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users"
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, May 04, 2010 1:43 PM
Subject: Re: [nagdu] rejected by the lions club?
> How? How will owner training stretch a person in ways they never dreamed
> of?
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Julie J
> Sent: Monday, May 03, 2010 8:09 AM
> To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] rejected by the lions club?
>
> Jessica,
>
> I want you to understand that I only want the best for you and that I
> will
> help you out in any way that I can.
>
> You have to be your best advocate. That is just as important as the
> training of your puppy. When you choose to owner train its all you all
> the
> time. The people on this list, including me, can't be there to walk you
>
> through the challenges that will come. We will offer support,
> encouragement, training ideas, even help with access challenge issues,
> but
> in the end it is you that must do the hard work.
>
> If you feel that the Boy Scouts or high school volunteers would be
> helpful
> make some phone calls and make those connections. I don't want to come
> across as harsh or uncaring and I think I'm doing just that, but I
> cannot
> stress enough that owner training is much, much more than just training
> a
> dog. It will stretch you in ways you never dreamt of.
>
> All my best,
> Julie
>
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Jessica Pitzer" <rolosgirl at gmail.com>
> To: "NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users"
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Sunday, May 02, 2010 6:49 PM
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] rejected by the lions club?
>
>
>>I have no idea nor how to find out.
>>
>> On 5/2/10, Nicole B. Torcolini <ntorcolini at wavecable.com> wrote:
>>> Just an idea, but are there any groups locally--scouts, Honor
> Society,
>>> etc--that have teenagers that may be able to help you in some way?
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Jessica Pitzer" <rolosgirl at gmail.com>
>>> To: "NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users"
>>> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Sunday, May 02, 2010 3:15 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] rejected by the lions club?
>>>
>>>
>>>> Go for it. For me so far the costs have been shipping for the dog,
>>>> equipment, food, soon I will be paying vet care, training, etc. I
> was
>>>> just asking for a little help whether it be money or time, even if
>>>> they'd just help us go for walks, take us places for soialization
> etc.
>>>> Jessica
>>>>
>>>> On 5/2/10, Albert J Rizzi <albert at myblindspot.org> wrote:
>>>>> Well, first we have someone who understands some of what goes into
> some
>>>>> people's choices in their options for mobility. We also have
> another
>>>>> misinformed individual who knows nothing of the handlers who prefer
> to
>>>>> owner
>>>>> train their dogs. We also have a person who has a strong
> affiliation
>>>>> with
>>>>>
>>>>> a
>>>>> school that the Lion's Club committed raises funds for. So, perhaps
>
>>>>> there
>>>>>
>>>>> is
>>>>> an opportunity to educate miss rosemary on the fact that some
> people
>>>>> are
>>>>> very adept at training their dogs and that as a president of a
> chapter
>>>>> she
>>>>> needs to be better informed before she offers advice or as I have
>>>>> interpreted the tone, condemnation for those who choose to owner
> train.
>>>>> I
>>>>> would be happy to suggest forwarding this email to our lion's list
>>>>> serve
>>>>> and
>>>>> ask them their opinion, and I would even offer to write her, for I
>>>>> myself
>>>>>
>>>>> am
>>>>> a lion and would welcome the opportunity of opening her eyes to the
>>>>> truths
>>>>> about guides and options with everything that is Lionism. She is
> just
>>>>> unaware and ignorant of what is possible in this regard, and may
>>>>> obviously
>>>>> be getting her skewed opinion from the organization which she
> and
>>>>> her
>>>>> club give so much money to and get so much publicity from for doing
> so.
>>>>>
>>>>> Albert J. Rizzi, M.Ed.
>>>>> CEO/Founder
>>>>> My Blind Spot, Inc.
>>>>> 90 Broad Street - 18th Fl.
>>>>> New York, New York 10004
>>>>> www.myblindspot.org
>>>>> PH: 917-553-0347
>>>>> Fax: 212-858-5759
>>>>> "The person who says it cannot be done, shouldn't interrupt the one
> who
>>>>> is
>>>>> doing it."
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Visit us on Facebook LinkedIn
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>>>>> Behalf
>>>>> Of Jessica Pitzer
>>>>> Sent: Sunday, May 02, 2010 3:53 PM
>>>>> To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
>>>>> Subject: [nagdu] rejected by teh lions club?
>>>>>
>>>>> Hi all,
>>>>> following is an email I received in response to an email I sent to
> my
>>>>> local lions club about asking for help with some of the costs of
> owner
>>>>> training. I'm.. not quite sure how to feel right now except baffled
> as
>>>>> we have some many owner trainers and I just embarked on this
> journey
>>>>> myself.
>>>>> Thoughts?
>>>>> On 5/2/10, Rosemary Richert <rosemary at richertnet.com> wrote:
>>>>>> Hi Bert,
>>>>>>
>>>>>> It is highly unusual, and questionably irresponsible, for someone
> to
>>>>>> train
>>>>>> their own guide dog. The state only recognizes service animals
> which
>>>>>> have
>>>>>> been professionally trained. Any other such dogs may be banned
> from
>>>>> places
>>>>>> which would otherwise allow access to service animals. Necessary
>>>>>> training
>>>>>> of the dog is very comprehensive and time consuming. And,
>>>>>> subsequently,
>>>>>> training of the blind person with the dog is, also, very
> comprehensive
>>>>>> and
>>>>>> time consuming. For the person's training, alone, three weeks of
>>>>>> on-site
>>>>>> training with the animal determined best suited to their needs is
>>>>> required.
>>>>>> The blind person needs to prove their orientation and mobility
> skills
>>>>> before
>>>>>> even being accepted into a training program. Without proof of the
>>>>> adequacy
>>>>>> of those skills, they will not be accepted.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I served on the Board of Directors of Leader Dogs for the Blind
> for
>>>>>> four
>>>>>> years, and am the person who convinced the facility to become
> trainers
>>>>>> for
>>>>>> the blind/deaf community...to the best of my knowledge, it remains
> the
>>>>> only
>>>>>> facility with qualified instructors of deaf/blind individuals. I
> tell
>>>>>> you
>>>>>> this, so that you may understand that I have a credible background
> in
>>>>> these
>>>>>> matters, and know whereof I speak. I would strongly caution your
>>>>>> Lions
>>>>>> club, or any other Lions club, about considering involvement with
> a
>>>>>> person
>>>>>> who thinks they can train a guide dog for the blind on their own.
>>>>>> Involvement under such circumstances could come back to haunt an
>>>>>> otherwise
>>>>>> well-meaning club. It would make much more sense for this person
> to
>>>>>> be
>>>>>> screened as to qualifications; and, if qualified, be sponsored to
> a
>>>>>> recognized service do training program.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Thank you for your kind consideration.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> God bless.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> With Lionism at Heart, C
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> PDG Rosemary
>>>>>
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>>>>>
>>>>>
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>>>>
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