[nagdu] the body language workshop

Tue Apr 12 17:43:12 UTC 2011

Julie,

You might consider dropping this person a note. Give her  constructive 
feedback along with strokes. I'd like to think that as a presenter she'd 
welcome the feedback. I know I do.

Lisa and Bernie
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Julie J" <julielj at neb.rr.com>
To: "NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users" 
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, April 12, 2011 8:55 AM
Subject: Re: [nagdu] the body language workshop

> Yes, the presenter was rather odd in many respects, not just her choice of 
> "hard of seeing".  I wanted to say something, but it seemed kind of rude 
> to interrupt her lecture to point out her odd choice of phrasing. Except 
> for the weird choice of words, what she said about blindness and body 
> language was pretty good.
>
> Julie
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Lisa Irving" <lirving1234 at cox.net>
> To: "NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users" 
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Sunday, April 10, 2011 8:13 PM
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] the body language workshop
>
>
>> I'm still hung up on the presenter's term, "hard of seeing". What the 
>> heck! I had a similar experience at a diversity training work shop. Go 
>> figure.
>>
>> Lisa and Bernie
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Julie J" <julielj at neb.rr.com>
>> To: "NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users" 
>> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Saturday, April 09, 2011 1:00 PM
>> Subject: [nagdu] the body language workshop
>>
>>
>>> Heya all!
>>>
>>> I just got back from that body language workshop I talked about a few 
>>> weeks ago.  I did learn some new things, but mostly it was common sense 
>>> things...eye contact is good, staring is considered intimidating and 
>>> lack of eye contact is interpreted as hiding something.  There was lots 
>>> more stuff like that.  She did a pretty good job of addressing physical 
>>> issues that could contribute to a difference in body language, a 
>>> deaf/hard of hearing person not responding to a question or a visually 
>>> impaired person not responding to a waved greeting.  Although it was 
>>> extremely annoying that she used the term "hard of seeing".
>>>
>>> She talked a lot about open and closed postures.  They are pretty much 
>>> exactly what you'd think.  closed is head down, eyes averted, arms 
>>> and/or legs crossed, hands in pockets and the body turned away.  All of 
>>> these indicate a closed affect.  She never really did get clear about 
>>> what exactly this means.  To the best of my understanding it can be 
>>> different depending on the person and the situation.  Closed body 
>>> language can indicate nervousness, lack of repor, lack of interest,being 
>>> uncomfortable or generally not wanting to participate in the 
>>> conversation.
>>>
>>> Open body language is just the opposite.  Generally you would face your 
>>> belly button toward the other person with it not covered by crossed 
>>> arms. Looking toward the person, palms open held out such as in a high 
>>> five, wave or handshake, leaning forward and head held up  are all open 
>>> body language.  Generally these all indicate a willingness to 
>>> communicate or interest in the other person.
>>>
>>> To gain repor with another person she suggested mimicking their body 
>>> language.  they have their hands in pockets, you put your hands in 
>>> pockets.  They rest their chin on their hand you do the same.  This is 
>>> supposed to give people a feeling of sameness and familiarity.  Once 
>>> this repor is established you can do something using your body language 
>>> and the other person will mimic your action.  In this way you can steer 
>>> a person toward feeling more comfortable with you.
>>>
>>> All that said, I want to relate what happened when I first entered the 
>>> classroom.  I didn't tell them in advance that I'm blind, have a guide 
>>> dog and I didn't request any accommodations.  I wasn't taking this 
>>> workshop for any particular reason other than personal interest.  and 
>>> part of me wanted to find out just exactly how an instructor teaching 
>>> body language would handle a blind person in their class.  So as I'm 
>>> walking by trying to navigate the maze of tables to find a seat, the 
>>> instructor flies out of her chair and moves toward Monty and me fast 
>>> enough that Monty felt it important to move me out of her way.  While 
>>> she's moving toward me she's rattling off question after question 
>>> without even a breath in between, "What's his name?Can I pet him? and 
>>> then she reaches for Monty.  You guys have heard enough of my stories by 
>>> now to know that Monty is not fond of weirdoes touching him.  Come to 
>>> think of it, I'm not either, so I can totally understand where he's 
>>> coming from. Monty backs away from her hand as I'm telling her that he's 
>>> not into strangers touching him.  Fortunately she had sense enough to 
>>> back off and sit back down.
>>>
>>> For the next three hours I was thinking about this interaction and  what 
>>> I could have done to prevent it in the context of body language.  I 
>>> didn't make eye contact with her.  I didn't even know she was there 
>>> until she started spouting all her questions.  I wasn't facing her.  I 
>>> had intentionally turned away from her and put myself in between her and 
>>> Monty.  I didn't smile, nod or make any other gestures that were 
>>> mentioned in the workshop that could have been interpreted as an 
>>> invitation to come accost my dog.
>>>
>>> So what I am left with is that people are nutters and no amount of 
>>> amazing body language skills are going to keep them at bay.   Or maybe 
>>> because of my body language she got the hint and sat back down quickly. 
>>> Perhaps body language can't prevent encounters, but it can end them more 
>>> quickly.  I don't know.
>>>
>>> Julie
>>> _______________________________________________
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>>
>>
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>
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