[nagdu] beginning to use a cane

[Brenda]

The first part of your post is awesome!  But then you say we should not 
let others control what we do.  Kind of contradictory to me.  As people 
gain the confidence and maybe hang around with some affirming people it 
becomes easier.  This doesn't happen overnight and those of us who have 
been through it need to be understanding of people who in fact let 
others influence them and encourage those who feel like second class 
citizens and build them up.  If a person can't say "I feel like a second 
class citizen" then they are locked in denial.  People need to own their 
feelings and then they can grow.  Discussing the fact that people feel 
like second class citizens helps us to understand where they are coming 
from so we can encourage and not judge and tell them not to feel that way.


On 12/22/2011 3:21 PM, Julie Phillipson wrote:
> I believe it is very difficult for anyone to accept something about 
> themselves.  I think everyone has something that they are not 
> comfortable with in their lives.  It takes time and sometimes a lot of 
> work to get to the point where you can let that go and be what it is 
> and accept it.  There is a lot of emotional stuff to go through with 
> any of it.  Taking the step to admit that one needs a mobility 
> assistance device whether it is a white cane or a support cane or a 
> wheelchair is all the same.  Realizing that you need it is half the 
> battle and the other half is dealing with the feelings of inadequacy, 
> self consciousness, and embarrassment.  I think those feelings lessen 
> in time because eventually you will get to the point when you realize 
> it is helpful to you and who cares what anyone else thinks. Building 
> confidence in yourself is one of the best things any of us can do, and 
> it sure helps to surround yourself with positive role models like 
> people in NFB or another supportive group.  If you never let yourself 
> take the first steps  of learning how to use a cane and then working 
> with it until you are good with it you are only hurting yourself.  
> Sure it is going to bring up negative feelings in other family members 
> but you are cheating yourself if you let them control what you do.  
> Let them deal with their own feelings and don't let them try to make 
> you responsible for how they feel. If In my opinion we act like a 
> second class citizen then that is how others will treat us.
> Julie Phillipson
> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Brenda" <bjnite at windstream.net>
> To: "NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users" 
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, December 22, 2011 12:15 PM
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] beginning to use a cane
>
>
>> That is good that you can do that.  Not everyone is in the place you 
>> are at.  Years ago I got involved in a 12-stepprogram which helped me 
>> accept myself as I am.  It is still hard when you are bombarded with 
>> negativity. Maybe we should all move to your city.
>>
>> On 12/22/2011 11:49 AM, Sheila Leigland wrote:
>>> I see many interesting posts on the subject on the cane. The most 
>>> disturbing one for me have to do with the perceptions of being a 
>>> second class citizen or worse than that. I'm not a second class 
>>> citizen or worse than that and I won't accept that kind of treatment 
>>> from anyone. I had to learn to stand up for myself and my right to 
>>> take up space on this planet and noone will take that away from me.
>>>
>>> Sheila Leiglan d
>>>
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