[nagdu] NAGDU: Well meaning people

[Lisa Irving]

Some times the well meaning folks can also be the rude ones too. The well 
meaning person goes in to jerk mode; maybe some kind of entitlement 
behavior, when help is declined and advice is disregarded.

Lisa and Bernie
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Tamara Smith-Kinney" <tamara.8024 at comcast.net>
To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'" 
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, March 04, 2011 9:57 AM
Subject: Re: [nagdu] NAGDU: Well meaning people


> Lisa,
>
> Oh, the wonderfully helpful ones who aren't.  /lol/  I honestly find them
> way more distracting and irritating than honest-to-goodness rude snotty
> types just because the helpers are being so gosh darn nice that I want to 
> be
> nice in return even though I really need them to go away and let me get on
> with my life.  /lol/  Used to make me crazy!
>
> If you figure out how to pull off a ridiculously courteous blow off, do
> tell!  I haven't managed to get myself caught up in an endless ordeal of
> sticky-sweet niceness for awhile now, but I'm sure I will again.  Probably
> just as soon as I can managed to start squeezing enough out of my budget 
> for
> a bus pass and start heading out into the world by my lonesome without my
> sighted manly caretaker.  /lol/  Going around with sighted women, I still
> get helped a lot and interfered with in little ways a lot...  But having a
> big strong man to look after me in the big wide world just seems to set
> everyone's mind at ease that it's all under control and the blind woman is
> safe from herself!  My inner feminist is not pleased by this, but I do get
> more done and am quite spoiled by it.  /grin/
>
> Tami Smith-Kinney
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
> Of Lisa Irving
> Sent: Thursday, March 03, 2011 8:50 PM
> To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> Subject: [nagdu] NAGDU: Well meaning people
>
> Hi Julie,
>
> Today, I had two instances where well meaning people kept correcting me 
> and
> telling me that my dog was moving in the wrong direction. The first
> individual was a deputy at the court house. Despite my gentle insistance
> that I didn't need accompaniment to where I was going, his superior  told
> him to go with me. I figured I'd be polite and also sort of blow him off. 
> My
>
> dog was taking me along the side of the hall; absolutely correct. He took 
> me
>
> to a bench; not a big deal as I've recently taught him to find bus 
> benches.
> It went on and on until we reached the office. All along I said in a 
> chipper
>
> voice that my dog was correct in his judgments. Spoken words fell on deaf
> ears. The second situation was with a friend who has spent a decent amount
> of time around guide dogs. I knew he meant well. I explained the same 
> thing
> to him-- my guide dog was correct in his judgments. I also cut my new dog
> guide some slack too. I really don't want to go to most every pole and 
> most
> every bench. However, I know he's trying to please me. And, I also want 
> him
> to know what a very good dog he is.
>
> Lisa and Bernie
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Julie J" <julielj at neb.rr.com>
> To: "NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users"
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, March 03, 2011 5:22 AM
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Do you ever get angry with your dogs
> andhowtocontroleit?
>
>
>> You know just yesterday I was leaving a coffee shop with friends and 
>> Monty
>
>> refused to go forward.  He does this sometimes and it aggravates me to no
>> end.  Usually it is because there is something that he feels requires
>> caution about half a block ahead.   All I need to do is take the leash in
>> my right hand, gesture forward with it and give him a bit of
>> encouragement. The entire event from stopping to going again occurs in
>> about a second and a half.   Yesterday though, someone passing says, "oh,
>> he's in training." That really aggravates me.  It's like he's supposed to
>> be perfect every. single. second.  And honestly I don't consider stopping
>> a mistake, it's just being overly cautious
>>
>> I walked to the end of the block with my friends.  Monty stopped at the
>> curb.  I told him to turn left so we could line up with where we needed 
>> to
>
>> cross.  One of the friends says, "he didn't turn."  Like that was a
>> mistake. He isn't supposed to turn.  He does sometimes if it's a very
>> familiar route, but I don't expect it.  Still it aggravates me that we 
>> are
>
>> constantly judged and found lacking.
>>
>> Both very small things and not worth my energy.  I know, but I do think
>> that sometimes it's good to vent.  It keeps me sane and it helps others
>> know they are perfectly normal for getting irritated too. *smile*
>>
>> Julie
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> nagdu mailing list
>> nagdu at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nagdu_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> nagdu:
>>
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nagdu_nfbnet.org/lirving1234%40cox.net
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> nagdu mailing list
> nagdu at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nagdu_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> nagdu:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nagdu_nfbnet.org/tamara.8024%40comcast
> .net
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> nagdu mailing list
> nagdu at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nagdu_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> nagdu:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nagdu_nfbnet.org/lirving1234%40cox.net