[nagdu] people who persist in petting

Mon Feb 25 21:17:37 UTC 2013

You got that right!  I have a psychology degree as well and find most human 
behavior fascinating!  It would be fun to explore this topic more but 
unfortunately I think its beond the scope of this list!
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Robert Hooper" <hooper.90 at buckeyemail.osu.edu>
To: "NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users" 
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, February 25, 2013 1:36 PM
Subject: Re: [nagdu] people who persist in petting


> Alright, I'm going to indulge in a bit of acidity regarding certain 
> people, certain dogs, and certain behaviors.
> As a student of psychology, peoples' perceptions of those with 
> disabilities is a great interest of mine. I particularly enjoyed the 
> scenario referenced in the initial email on this subject: "I know I'm not 
> supposed to, but I'm going to anyway."
> That is blatant disrespect. Period. I often find that what I say to 
> someone often carries less weight than what a sighted person says. I 
> firmly believe that if I were with a sighted person, and somebody asked to 
> pet my dog, and the sighted person said "yes" and I said "no," the sighted 
> person would be more likely to commit an indescression. You see this sort 
> of thing in the way sighted people use one's sighted companions as a 
> buffer when asking questions. For example, it's not, "How old is your 
> dog?"; it's "How old is his dog? What does he think about X. Does he mind 
> if I pet his dog?"
> Some of these things can be attributed to awkwardness on the part of 
> somebody unfamiliar with communication with an individual with a 
> disability, but some things are little forms of discrimination. There is a 
> phenomenon in gender studies called benevolent or hostile sexism.
> The following was an actual experiment. An job interview for a position at 
> a warehouse was taped. The potential employer was a man, and the potential 
> employee was a young woman. There were two versions of the interview. In 
> the one demonstrating hostile sexism, the man made comments about his 
> doubts that a "woman" could lift the requisite weight. He also made 
> comments about the way she would need to dress, etc. In the video 
> demonstrating benevolent sexism, the man was very nice to the woman--he 
> said something to the effect of, "I'm sure that the guys around here 
> wouldn't mind helping out a pretty young woman such as yourself" in 
> reference to the weight lifting requirement. The subjects who watched 
> these videos rated the man as more likeable and the female less likeable 
> in the video demonstrating benevolent sexism, and the man less likeable 
> and the woman more so in the video demonstrating hostile sexism. So, it 
> can be concluded that benevolent sexism can cause greater harm than 
> hostile sexism.
> My point in bringing up this study is that I believe something similar 
> goes on when those with disabilities interface with the public. The public 
> often does us a disservice by assuming that they are being helpful and 
> that *we* should be grateful that they are offering said help. In the same 
> way, when somebody decides to molest our service animals, they are 
> benevolently showing disrespect by not engaging us first. The respectful 
> thing to do would be to ask--or even acknowledge that the shmuck with the 
> dog exists. This reminds me of one particularly bad week I was having a 
> couple weeks previous. I had just gotten done working out, and I was 
> waiting on my workout partner to return the lock that we had borrowed. 
> Somebody walks up and begins to deal Bailey a few strokes. Having had 
> quite a horrible day, I said the following: "Excuse me, it would be nice 
> if you could do me the respect and courtesy of treating me like a human 
> being instead of my dog's [adjective beginning with f] coat stand." I have 
> to tell you that saying that made me feel like that day had been salvaged. 
> There is absolutely no reason why we should deal with *anyone's* lack of 
> disrespect. If somebody molests my dog without permission, I'm going to be 
> rude about it. Why? Because they didn't show me the courtesy and respect 
> due another member of society when another member of society wants to 
> fondle someone's property. They initiated the rudeness. If Johnny Smith 
> thought that Joey Appleton just had the cutest set of ears and awesome 
> hair style, does that give Johnny Smith the right to walk up to Joey 
> Appleton and feel up those ears and that hair while making cooing noises 
> in his face? Absolutely not. If Johnny Smith asked Joey Appleton if he 
> could do such, then yay! You have a member of society who, despite their 
> strange desires, at least has the courtesy to ask. If somebody exclaimed 
> over the cuteness of your toddler and then proceeded to fondle them, you'd 
> probably do a lot more than ask them to "stop petting my child."
> So, finally, I repeat: I have no tolerance for being ignored or 
> disrespected. If somebody insists on petting the dog, they will be 
> physically prevented from doing so, and the police will be summoned. "I 
> know I'm not supposed to, but I will," isn't cute; it's not exasperating. 
> It's plainly offensive, insulting, and unacceptable, from any member of 
> society. Of course, I have no problems with those who don't mind others 
> petting their dog; however, it's not a bad idea to insist that people at 
> least acknowledge that you, the human half, have the authority where the 
> dog is concerned. Don't be your dog's coat stand--you're worth a lot more 
> respect than that. So, with all that in mind, boys and girls, have a 
> fantastic day!
> Lovingly,
> Robert Hooper
> Hooper.90 at buckeyemail.osu.edu
> The Ohio State University, Department of Psychology; Department of 
> Neuroscience
> 572 Stinchcomb Drive
> Apt. 3
> Columbus, Ohio 43202-3702
> (740) 856-8195
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Eve Sanchez
> Sent: Monday, February 25, 2013 12:27 PM
> To: NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] people who persist in petting
>
> It is just the area you are and the people you are around then. My first 
> dog was a German Shepherd and she was petted all of the time.
> She was very intimidating looking yet I would have people drop to the 
> ground in front of her while walking on harness to play kissy face with 
> her. Those people would then get mad when I would tell them she is a 
> working dog  and not to be played with. My Golden is absolutely adorable 
> and has the same issues, but I got her a sign and have gotten a little 
> ruder to get the point across and not have people ruin her.
> It helps.I explained to one lady I met who is wheel chair bound, that it 
> is like somebody pushing her out of her chair. She loved the analogy. My 
> daughter even recommends that I reply to people who say they want to get a 
> harness like ours (I hear this all of the time) with something like "You 
> should try a wheel chair too. They are lots of fun." I wish there was a 
> wide spread way to let the general population of this country know that 
> these dogs are working and not play things for their enjoyment. Children 
> can learn, why not the adults? Eve
>
> On Mon, Feb 25, 2013 at 8:26 AM, Tina Thomas <judotina48kg at gmail.com> 
> wrote:
>> Hello- I really don't have problems with people petting my dog. I was
>> just agreeing with Dar about taking a hard line with people when they
>> have tried to interfere with me and my guide.
>> Tina and the girls
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of consuelo
>> johnson
>> Sent: Monday, February 25, 2013 4:40 AM
>> To: 'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] people who persist in petting
>>
>> I don't really have that problem to much, because I'm working a
>> davenman pitcher,  but when I had my gsd people did approach us to
>> much because that thought that she was a police dog.  Have you try
>> using a sign to let people know not to pet your dog.  You can purchase
>> these sign from gdui or some school offer them for their graduates.
>> Consuelo and zoey
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Tina Thomas
>> Sent: Monday, February 25, 2013 12:05 AM
>> To: 'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] people who persist in petting
>>
>> Hello Dar- I too am not polite at a down curb or in the street. I
>> guess one good thing about having a GSD is that people are not just
>> coming up and trying to pet my dog.
>> Tina and the girls
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of d m gina
>> Sent: Sunday, February 24, 2013 6:09 PM
>> To: nagdu at nfbnet.org
>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] people who persist in petting
>>
>> In the street I will not be polite.
>> I don't have time to explain when I need to find the other curb.
>> I like the last part you shared
>> My dog isn't here for you to play with.
>> to that effect anyway.
>> When your friend starts to pet the dog in school, I would turn around
>> and walk away.
>> Even if you are at the rite place to be.
>> Just a thought.
>> Original message:
>>> Hi guys.
>>
>>> I'm curious.  What do you all do when people persist in petting your
>>> dog.  I do not allow people to pet Brie, and generally, this is not a
>>> problem.  I just tell whoever is asking (or petting anyway) that she
>>> is working, which means I do not allow people to pet her.  I can
>>> usually leave it at that.  But there are a few people who I see at
>>> church and school who say things like "I know.  I'm going to pet
>>> anyway."  In fact, one of those lovely people decided to pet Brie
>>> while we were crossing the street.
>>
>>> I don't want to be rude and create a problem, but I'm not sure how to
>>> tell them in a polite way that I don't want them petting my dog.  I
>>> am also not sure if they would even listen at that point.  Part of me
>>> also wonders if it's even a problem, since Brie doesn't generally get
>>> distracted by this.  She only gets distracted by people she knows,
>>> and those people know better.  What do you guys do?  I know I'm kind
>>> of obnoxious when it comes to people petting my dog, but when she is
>>> working, she is my mobility tool, not a dog on display for others to
>>> play with.
>>
>>
>>> --
>>> Julie McG
>>> National Association of Guide dog Users board member,  National
>>> Federation of the Blind performing arts division secretary, Missouri
>>> Association of Guide dog Users President, and Guiding Eyes for the
>>> Blind graduate 2008 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only
>>> Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have
>>> eternal life."
>>> John 3:16
>>
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>>> et
>>
>> --
>> --Dar
>> skype: dmgina23
>>   FB: dmgina
>> www.twitter.com/dmgina
>> every saint has a past
>> every sinner has a future
>>
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>
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