[nagdu] Humor for blind people

Tue Nov 24 02:12:27 UTC 2015

  2. being respectful of others time by staying on topic.  The main topic of
the list is guide dogs.  Occasional discussions of general blindness issues
or other types of service animals are acceptable.  Also there will be posts
on NFB initiatives and related announcements.  NAGDU is a division of the
National Federation of the Blind (
NFB.)
The rules on how to treat a blind person were cute. However, this is not
what the list is about. We each have five posts daily, and this list is
often very heavily used. (It hasn't been as much lately.) I think that we
need to not continue to post these here.
There were 17 originally and already several more have been created, some of
them nearly duplicating others. Please be mindful of others' time and the
purpose of this list.
Thank you so much for your consideration.
Cindy Lou Ray, Co-Moderator
NAGDU Mailing List

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Dan Weiner via
nagdu
Sent: Monday, November 23, 2015 7:37 PM
To: 'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Dan Weiner <dcwein at dcwein.cnc.net>
Subject: Re: [nagdu] Humor for blind people

And let me add two:

1.  make sure to not introduce yourself to the blind person and just walk up
to him/her and ask how they "got blind" If they answer you kindly, because
of course all blind people love answering these questions for people they
don't know. Insist that there must be some kind of cure. Ask them "isn't
there some kind of cure" or "why haven't you had an operation". After all,
blind people obviously made no effort to find a cure or they wouldn't be
blind. 

2.  Come up to some blind person and ask him "don't you remember me". If he
doesn't recognize your voice keep insisting that he guess who you are. Act
so astonished that the blind person doesn't know who you are. After all, all
blind people must recognize who you are because you are just so important
and you've gone to the trouble of talking to them-- and besids blind people
love these guessing games, it gives meaning to their otherwise dark
existence.lol

Maybe I'll think of more later.
Take care everyone.

Dan

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Rachel Grider via
nagdu
Sent: Monday, November 23, 2015 8:08 PM
To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
Cc: Rachel Grider
Subject: Re: [nagdu] Humor for blind people

This is awesome! Thank you for sending. 

http//www.rachelgrider.com

> On Nov 23, 2015, at 10:16, Marianne Denning via nagdu 
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
wrote:
> 
> These are all the things I want to say but know it would not be 
> appropriate in most situations.  Enjoy!
> 
> 17 Easy Ways To Make A Blind Person's Day
> 
> 1. When introducing yourself, use loud, exaggerated speech. Since 
> we're blind, it's safe to assume we're a little dim, too.
> 2. Don't speak directly to us. It's always best to talk over our heads 
> like we're not there at all, especially if you are offering a service.
> Example:
> "What would she like to order?" Be sure to ignore our attempts to 
> answer for ourselves.
> 3. Grab or otherwise manipulate our bodies whenever and wherever you 
> deem necessary. For example, if you intuitively perceive that we're 
> going the wrong way (even if you haven't asked where that is) just 
> snatch the nearest limb and lead on, Macduff!
> 4. If you aren't in a position to grab us, you can always shout 
> instructions in the hope that we'll know what you're talking about. If 
> we look baffled, just keep repeating the instructions in an 
> increasingly frantic tone.
> We'll clue in eventually.
> 5. Remind us often how grateful we should be that people are willing 
> to provide accommodations for us. While it's unlikely that we will 
> ever, ever forget this for more than five minutes at a time, it's a 
> good idea to slam the thought home when we're not expecting it. It 
> builds character.
> 6. Stage loud conversations about us while we're in the room, because 
> we won't hear. If we hear, it's okay, because we won't understand. If 
> we understand, it's okay, because we won't care.
> 7. Keep all conversation firmly focused on blindness. If we try to 
> interject by discussing our education or interests, just redirect us.
> We get carried
> away trying to be all normal, so it's helpful to keep us on track!
> 8. Be sure to describe all the other blind people you've ever met, in 
> extravagant detail. We couldn't be more fascinated by that blind guy 
> who skied, and that other blind guy who went to school with you, and 
> that blind girl you met on the train once-the one with the cute puppy.
> 9. Make a habit of asking us why we're "here". If we're on the bus, 
> ask us why we're out alone. If we're at work, ask us how we got the 
> job. If we're in class, ask us why we're in university. If we seem 
> offended, ignore us:
> deep down inside, we really enjoy presumptuous interrogation!
> 10. Dispense advice about how we should live our lives; the less you 
> know us, the more valuable your feedback will be. If you need a good 
> starting point, you can begin by analyzing our mobility tool of choice 
> (cane or dog) and emphatically demanding that we switch. We love that.
> 11. Involve yourself in our love lives, specifying exactly the type of 
> person we should date and why. If you think we should date a sighted 
> person because they'll be able to take care of us, we'll want to hear 
> all about it.
> If you think we should date a blind person because we should "stick to 
> our own kind"
> we will be all ears!
> 12. Give us things-money, coupons, whatever-because you pity us and 
> want to make our day better. Don't be phased by any apparent 
> expressions of confusion.
> ("Oh, that's just my gratitude face!") 13. Stop us on the street and 
> thank whomever we're with for helping/taking care of/being so kind to 
> us. It's not as though we have real friends who genuinely enjoy our 
> company. No: if we're out with a sighted person, they are fulfilling a 
> purely charitable role. They will appreciate your praise, and we will 
> feel extra extra grateful!
> 14. Place your hands on us in any public place and pray. If we gently 
> explain that we don't want to be prayed for, rest assured that it's 
> just the secular cynicism doing the talking. When our sight is 
> miraculously restored, you'll be the first to know.
> 15. Make as many potentially dangerous practical jokes as you can 
> think of. A few good ideas include warning us of imaginary obstacles 
> ("Watch out for that tree-just kidding!"), concealing our possessions, 
> and encouraging us to "find" you while you run gleefully around us in 
> circles. These were a staple of primary school, and I treasure many 
> pleasant memories from that era. Do me a favour, and bring back the 
> nostalgia!
> 16. Refer to us as "that blind person" even after you know our names.
> Blindness is so integral to our identities that our names are really 
> just decorative, so there's no need to remember or use them. If we 
> fail to answer to "Hey, blind girl/guy!" just keep trying. We'll learn 
> to love it.
> 17. Assume that our default status is "Help!" If we reassure you that 
> we're okay, thanks, don't fall for it. Insisting upon rescuing us 
> every time we cross paths places us into a position of dependence, 
> which is exactly where we belong.
> 
> 
> 
> --
> Marianne Denning, TVI, MA
> Teacher of students who are blind or visually impaired
> (513) 607-6053
> 
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