[nagdu] Grabbing my harness was Humor for blind people

[Raven Tolliver]

The only people who have grabbed my dog's harness were people who I
asked for help. So I was polite to them because I still wanted their
help. It's not like the person had no business interacting with us in
the first place. If they had been strangers and I was minding my own
business, they would get an earful of choice words.
I don't think it's right for them to grab the handle, but I also know
what it's like to help someone with a disability, and lack
understanding  of the extent of the help they need. It is a very
humbling experience, and it taught me to empathize with the headspace
of the people who I ask for help, or people who unhelpfully attempt to
force their assistance on me.

Now, when I ask people for help, I tell them exactly what I would like
them to do so that there is no question or confusion.
-- 
Raven
Founder of 1AM Editing & Research
www.1am-editing.com

You are valuable because of your potential, not because of what you
have or what you do.

Naturally-reared guide dogs
https://groups.google.com/d/forum/nrguidedogs

On 11/27/15, Julie J. via nagdu <nagdu at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> It's pretty rare that anyone grabs me.  It does happen from time to time
> though.  I read a fascinating book many years ago about how airline flight
> attendants are taught to instruct passengers in case of emergency.  They
> practice it on each other and in simulations.  Basically it's brief,
> extremely to the point and given in a tone of command.  There is no "would
> you be so kind as to..." or "I'd appreciate it very much if you could..."
> It's just things like "stand up, walk to the exit".  So this is the strategy
>
> I've adopted.  I think it's still in the general realm of manners.  I'm not
>
> smacking them or anything, but I am very firm in what I expect them to do
> with their hands and right now.  So I might say, "let go." or "stop".  So
> far it has worked every time.  Once they've let  go of me, we can move on to
>
> a civil conversation or part company or however I want to proceed.
>
> I do, just once, want to say really loudly, "unhand me you fiend" or "you
> can't touch me there for a dollar", but so far I've been too chicken.
>
> Julie
> Courage to Dare: A Blind Woman's Quest to Train her Own Guide Dog is now
> available! Get the book here:
> http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00QXZSMOC
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Cindy Ray via nagdu
> Sent: Friday, November 27, 2015 8:09 AM
> To: 'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
> Cc: Cindy Ray
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Grabbing my harness was Humor for blind people
>
> I am not sure that I really see any reason to be polite. I suspect it isn't
> a bad idea, but maybe however you get the point across. I always marvel
> that
> people don't get that you would be offended by their grabbing you or your
> harness. I do think I need to try to be a little nice if it is someone I am
> seeing on a regular basis, though honestly I can see that this would make
> you want to be less polite. What are they thinking?
> Cindy Lou Ray
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Tracy Carcione
> via nagdu
> Sent: Friday, November 27, 2015 8:06 AM
> To: 'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Tracy Carcione <carcione at access.net>
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Grabbing my harness was Humor for blind people
>
> I really see no reason to be polite to someone who grabs me or my dog.
> What
> reaction do you think someone would get, if they grabbed a sighted
> stranger?
> A good, hard smack?  A yell for the police?  Why should I quietly accept
> such rudeness?  Just because blind people have been taught all our lives to
> accept people grabbing us?  I don't think so. I growled at a waiter just
> this morning for grabbing me when I was walking around the table to get to
> my seat.
> Tracy
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Cindy Ray via
> nagdu
> Sent: Thursday, November 26, 2015 10:16 AM
> To: 'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
> Cc: Cindy Ray
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Grabbing my harness was Humor for blind people
>
> Oh, I have to fight against reacting that way, and I think I may do so more
> than I realize. One day at church a woman grabbed me because she thought I
> was going to knock over a pitcher of water. Given where I was, I hope it
> was
> on a table. I wasn't moving quickly and I was conscientiously using my
> cane.
> I told her to please not grab me, and she was offended. But really, how
> does
> someone feel about being grabbed like that. It isn't a fun thing.
> Cindy Lou Ray
> cindyray at gmail.com
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Tracy Carcione
> via nagdu
> Sent: Thursday, November 26, 2015 7:44 AM
> To: 'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Tracy Carcione <carcione at access.net>
> Subject: [nagdu] Grabbing my harness was Humor for blind people
>
> Cindy is much more restrained than I am.  I tend to slap at the offending
> hand and tell them sharply to let go.  Such behavior is completely
> unacceptable.  I tend to do the same when they grab me.  Just because I'm
> blind doesn't mean I will accept being grabbed at by strangers.
> Tracy