[Nfb-krafters-korner] off topic a question about blindness and how to explain it 2 sided people

[Annette Carr]

Portia,

I am not exactly clear on the specific situation for which you are looking
for help, so I will offer some food for thought that is more general.  There
is no easy answer.  You have to meet people at the level of where they are
currently thinking before you can get them to understand how you function
independently, and when you need assistance.  Have you explained to them how
you are able to do the things they are insisting on helping you with?  If
you have and they are continuing to insist on helping you, maybe you need to
sit down with them and ask why they feel you need assistance.  

When it comes to navigating your new neighborhood, is there any possibility
that there are dangers that you are not aware of?  I'm thinking along the
lines of people who have no regard for the well-being of others and would
not think twice of harming you.

It was a shock to me when a close friend of mine told me that now that I
have lost a significant amount of hearing, that I no longer walked with the
confidence and sure-footedness of when I was younger.  This comment took me
back and I had no idea that I was projecting that image.  In my head, I was
still the fully capable independent traveler that I had always been.  After
this I started to pay more attention to myself and realized that there was a
lot going on around me that I was no longer able to pick-up on.  I was
mentally prepared for the day when I could no longer cross streets
independently because of significant hearing loss, but I was not prepared
for this.  

Currently I am coming to the realization that I can no longer walk a
straight line.  In July I stepped off of the edge of the sidewalk and
twisted my ankle.  This has happened many times before, but this was the
worse.  I could not get up and had to call home for my husband to come and
pick me up.  I ended up tearing 4 ligaments and a muscle.  Over 2 months
have passed and I am still in pain and still receiving PT twice a week.  I
caused so much damage in that ankle, that there is very little stabilization
in it and I twisted it again last week.  

I am not telling you my story to get sympathy or pity, but as an example
that while we are examining other people to figure out why they are treating
us in a particular way, we also have to examine ourselves and the image we
are presenting.  

Most people mean well when they help, but sometimes they just need to gain a
better understanding of how we do things.  Although in some cases we might
perform a task in a different or slower way then how they do it, but as long
as we are safe they need to let us do it.  Sometimes we have to learn how to
accept assistance when it is in our best interest.

I hope you can find some helpful nuggets in what I've written.  Do not
hesitate to write if you want to talk about more specifics.

Annette



-----Original Message-----
From: Nfb-krafters-korner [mailto:nfb-krafters-korner-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of knitangelpm via Nfb-krafters-korner
Sent: Saturday, October 04, 2014 6:12 PM
To: Terry Knox; List for blind crafters and artists
Subject: [Nfb-krafters-korner] off topic a question about blindness and how
to explain it 2 sided people

hello all this is Portia!

 I'm in a dilemma and I need some help here since I am renting a room, and I
am sharing a house with three other people, I'm having a difficult I'm
trying to explain to a couple of people that my independence is very
important to me so I need to know how you handle this situation.

 I have to say I think God for my mother really pushing me very hard to be
independent and on my own.
 without her and many of them ONM instructors and VI instructors. I think I
would be totally lost!

 sigh! the lady that I rent the house from has never been around blind
people before so I am the first.
 since my significant other has known me for almost 11 years and knows how
well I have the myself out on the streets I don't have too much of a
problem. but since moving to this new location where we are he has become a
little bit more worrisome for my safety as well as she is but pushes him to
go with me wherever I go  yesterday was about the last straw for me and I
had to explain to both of them that what would we do without white canes or
guide dogs to get around?
 also what would we do if we didn't have instructors to teach us to solicit
help for shopping , at times if you trust people to help you count your
money to get it straight, walk across the street if you need to make sure
your clothes are organized, help with cooking X cetera.

 I know that it is taking some time with the red seats with department of
rehab to get everything in order including my hearing aid so that is a slow
process for me right now  so where I am at I am near a four way stop it is
difficult to cross this corner where I live so therefore I don't take any
chances so I always have someone to help me across  back to my original
question how do you handle that with people that you live with or outside of
your home that you do not need smothering and how do you teach them to
understand that you can do something but you are doing those tests with
accessible equipment to get around.
 and, to do everyday tasks.

 please forgive me if this sounds like something non-essential to this list.
 I need to ask since this is something that is very frustrating to me right
now.

 Portia, Pico Rivera California



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